2013 In Review

Boys and girls, we've made it through another year. 2013 ends in a few hours and Lord willing, we'll all see 2014. I'll try not to be as lengthy as I was last year, as most of you have other things to do, like party and/or attend watch meetings at your local churches/synagogues/mosques/etc.

January

• It started out so young, so new. What began as a quest to lose weight ended up with me gaining five pounds for the year. 
• I set other goals, most of which were accomplished at varying points of the year. 
• The house hunt unofficially began. More on that below.

February

• As usual, 28 Day of Black History Facts were posted online. 
• For the first time in recent memory, my parents had a joint birthday party. They were obviously pleased with all of that cake and the relatives around.
• Hoop dreams: my nephews Josh and DeShawn have them, mine became nightmares because of my bad back. I'd almost kill to be twelve or ten years old again, sans responsibilities and all the energy in the world like they have. I also learned that I can handle parenthood though I need to be a little stricter.

March

• The house hunt became real when we met our loan officer. Aside from Karen at Summit Bank, I strongly recommend Denise at Carroll Mortgage in Little Rock the next time you look for a home and accompanying loan.
•  After all of the fun and games, the boys moved back in with their mom - which is where they really wanted to be in the first place. I love my nephews, but I do like quiet time around the house. 
• I decided to commit myself to sending at least one blog posting per week, primarily to show someone out there that they need a great technical writer. I am also peddling my wares for a fair price as a freelancer - fool with me if you need me.

April

• Me vs. the State of Connecticut, Round 1. Ding, ding.
• Me vs. the tax man. I ran, and the sucker caught me. I can't wait for the day I do get a refund again, but I honestly don't mind doing my fiduciary duty as an American.
• We found and fell in love with our home! 

May

• Me vs. the State of Connecticut, Round 2. If someone doesn't release this lien, I swear I was driving 22 hours to Hartford!
• For what would be the last time for the next thirty years or so, I became debt-free!
• Sadly, my beloved red Hyundai Santa Fe departed for the automotive graveyard when that guy in the brand-new Jeep hit it. Thank God I only ended up with a bruised ego and none of the four airbags deployed. 

June

• To replace said Hyundai, we bought a Ford Fusion. It's not what most people would think I'd drive, but the price and 29 mpg had me sold. The fact it is ridiculously reliable is always a bonus.
• After having to crash with a relative for a few weeks, we got into our home! June 25 is a day I'll forever remember, as it is a day that proved that having faith in God and being prudent would one day pay off. It also means I beat the State of Connecticut.
• Shout out to Mo'B and my parents for helping us move into the house. 

July

• Throughout the year, I've awakened some nights to pick up my tablet and read Scripture until I got sleepy again. I'll definitely say I'm trying to walk with God every day, even on the ones when it seems like I am all alone. 
• We met the neighbors. They're all solid citizens who apparently were happy to see some younguns' in the neighborhood. I also found out who has generators and who needs one (us).
• The countdown to vacation became real. After all of the pushing and shoving, Chastity and I needed time off. 

August

• Vacation and second wedding anniversary. We needed to get away, and contrary to what naysayers quipped, seven days out of town were just what the doctor ordered.
• It seemed like I was working all of the time. When can a brother get some rest?
• Gosh, there's a lot of mail coming here. Didn't we already get this before?

September

• Party time! We had an unofficially first bash at the house, and even the rain couldn't keep me from killing the dominoes table and Lazy Magnolia beers.
• In the words of most NFL referees and my buddy Tim, we just kept forward progress. Nothing too spectacular, but something was getting better weekly. No word if we'll grow tomatoes yet, but if we do, he can pick his own.
• Oh, the joy of shopping at Lowes. If it isn't one thing, then it's another.

October

• Our true housewarming party was cancelled due to rain and sickness. Hey, even our well-intentions can be delayed or postponed. Wait til the backyard dries up come April or May and it'll be on!
• My Boston Red Sox won the 2013 World Series. Quoting Drake, we started from the bottom/now we here/Started from the bottom, now my whole team's f**king here. #Soxtober was celebrated here. 
• Every section has a season, and this was the season our uncle Lawrence left us for eternal rest. He was certainly a character - the man enjoyed life and giving people the third degree, all in the name of love. We miss you, uncle.

November

• If you thought I'd miss my wife's birthday, then you must be smoking something that I need a hit from. Although I had to work that night, we made it the best we could - and made up for it a few days later. 
• Ford Frustration: No serious problems, but both cars started giving me the blues. Fortunately, those blues were short-lived. 
• Our first Thanksgiving was too much. All of this food for two people? Tell somebody to come through and help eat this stuff. 

December

• I did not join Ozzy Osbourne on the Crazy Train, but my nights as Iron Man are prayerfully ending soon.
• Christmas at the Armstrong Household meant rest from the outside world and more food. It's a miracle that I only gained five pounds this year. 
•  My employer surprises me in more ways that one. 

All in all, 2013 was a terrific year. As we enter 2014, I pray for success, happiness, a bundle of joy to our lives, and only the best for all of you. I only write part-time, but the skills are recognized and respected. Subscribe to this blog so you'll be the first to know when something hits!

Follow me on Twitter @cedteaches 

God Is Taking Us Through It To Be Used In It

1 Kings 17:1-16

Learn to see what God is doing through people. Sometimes it is hard to take the next step - complacency sets it. He is trying to get to another level in life, praise, finances, etc else we do get comfortable in what we do/where we are. This is what will be.

Stand for God even if you're alone

In another locale, hardship must be endured (no Cadillac complex just because we accepted Him)

Elijah tells us to be encouraged 

V.2-3 Move beyond the comfort zone. Elijah was told to move east to Cherith Creek to cut him off from bad situations. In a place of isolation, he goes away from it all except the core. The closer he is, the better understanding he receives; the closer he is, the closer contact he has with God. 

V.6 He could easily go another way. What may not be good to you may very well be good for you. The purpose for going to the creek is to refocus. 

V.7 The creek dried up. Working for God is spreading the Gospel; therefore, the opportunity to move on to another level presents itself. 

V.8 Wanna see God work? He'll take you to the refinery. 

V.10 Elijah meets the widow fetching sticks and instructs her to bring him a piece of bread. The woman who is struggling to sustain herself and her son in turn keeps Elijah going for sustenance.

V.12 She planned on dying. Our purpose is to bring life to dead places! God can do more with that little bit the woman had than what we can with all if the ingredients.

Notice that when you do what is required what happens. You get more to do along with a reward. 

V.13 Go ahead and fix your meal before you die, but first will you make me a cake? Blessings come from being a blessing to others; the woman's faithfulness kept food and oil for many days as a result. God provides! 

My Stomach Touched My Back

hey hey hey

yeah, i know, it's kinda sorta a trademark, i suppose...

this morning i was so flippin' hungry

(how hungry a.ced.a?)

i was so hungry that______________

(try filling in that blank, if you will)

not because there's no food at home 'cause y'all know i loooooove to eat

not because i'm broke, just cheap

not because i had to go to little rock to give punkin her phone on my way to work

not because of the fact that at thirty-one years of age, i am teething again

- darn wisdom tooth -

although some semblance of humor to be elicited has flopped like andre agassi at open mike night

but because i simply was in the commuter's mindrush of getting to work quickly.

therefore, said stomach eventually touched my back and said........

"have you realized that the last time i worked was for some canned ravioli at 2:30 this morning?"

dag, bro, ya gotta get fed.

my bad.

of course, the belly was quickly satisfied by a four-piece catfish dinner

and a certain prominent cheater's (tiger woods gatorade) beverage, so tasty to me

what can i say? this man loooooooooves to eat!

but seriously, if ya get to the point beyond a growl and a tummy rumble, stop and eat!

til the next time

love, peace, and moisture max for daddy to pick his afro because it's flat on one side

tell the world where you're from

and anytime you're in little rock, go to grampa's catfish house on stagecoach road and throw down with the fish pappy heavily at a superb value

stay up

The Juice Loses His Cool & Rediscovers Clarity

hey hey hey

whut it dew y'all

it's ya man

and boy, do i have an adventure for yuuaaahhh!!!!!

(say it like soulja boy did last year, if you remember "crank dat")

these days it seems that the obama cool has taken over me

you know, the swagger, can't-mess-with-me demeanor,

this is the good life

even if the kid next to you is really pissing me off and he knows it

or your pain in the hiney coworker is sloughing off (again)

and the douche hasn't been fired yet

only because the boss man tends to keep a very visible, on-the-side relationship with said individual

am i back in mississippi? not yet, sorry, mister superintendent mane of humphreys county school district

home of super duper dank catfish museum (can i eat here too? damn, that's a biggun')

but seriously, guys, the juice has lost his cool

i'm not talking about oj simpson though i used to date like him (LBP - Life Before Punkin)

rather, my anger comes from not sleeping yet:

one day this one hundred damn percent grind crap will end and i can take an adult vacation

emphasis on adult

a couple of days at home just won't cut it.

it seems that everything frustrates and drives me bonkers like paying bills and

not having any ocean spray cran-blueberry juice to quaff down.

four hours of daily rest over months equals one red-eyed man,

redder than the hog y'all know as my santa fe.

one day i'll sleep.

one day i'll wake up and no one will add to the gray hairs up top.

one day...

til then,

nap time is forthcoming

love peace and afro grease from daddy red dax wave cap can

keep voting for kris allen to be the next american idol

show some love for my hometown of conway, arkansas

hug a goon

i'm out

Life Lessons at 30 From the Satirist

hey hey hey

it's me again

and i'm ready for a nice heaping of humble pie

crow just doesn't taste as good, but i've had both

today is my 30th birthday, and it feels the same as most of my past birthdays -

of course, number 21 holds a significant meaning as do all of the others.

i have learned a lot over the course of the aforementioned time in my life, such as:

love everyone with everything you have in you, even if your friends are jerks sometimes;

respect the one you are with

notice above the word one is not "ones"

smile daily and take time to enjoy life

allow the inner kid to come out to play - often

save more than just money; a rough economy can really affect friendships, too

follow the mantra from the hyundai commercial and drive your way

appreciate sage advice given, and be willing to listen

stay vigilant of your surroundings because no one likes being blindsided

praise the Lord with every ounce of breath in your bones

be thankful of everything and everyone

forgiveness is wonderful quality to have and grow into

former classmates and coworkers, childhood buddies, and exes are important people too;
otherwise they would not have entered my life at the junctures they met my sorry behind in

satire is a really fun way to convey my thoughts

contrary to what jay-z claimed, 30 is NOT the new 20; it's still the same ol' 30

til then

omg?!!!

the kid business needs me again

save money, live better at walmart

everybody is somebody at jacksonville high

and everywhere else, so you're included

ta ta

gotta run

love peace and daddy wave grease from the red dax can

smile and laugh a lot

The Shinestar Experiment. Part One

a bay bay

sup ya'll

thanks to all of you who read the last installment "Retirement at 30? Dude..." of my loquacious life

and a second shout-out to all of you who do continue to associate me with your friends, co-workers, dreams, toilet paper, etc.

i was leaving walmart this morning for the homestead

when i saw my mommy waving me on

 - if this ain't some momma's boy stuff, then i don't know what is -

and it hit me:

boy, some other people are counting on you to shine, so you better make it happen!

at this point, i don't know what or how in the world this will happen,

but i have (as usual) a unique idea.

it is called the shinestar experiment:  all i want you to do is encourage somebody to succeed any way you know how

this does not require funding nor a long litigious statement indicative of how the shine shall occur

nor my new personal disclaimer "within reason"

just do it

it may be writing, the art of storytelling/carwashing/rapping/compliment donation/teaching/whatever

you'll thank me later

t-shirts forthcoming for free.99

let's convert dreams into reality

and support one another

with my black fist in the air

and white buddies giving each other pound (the fist bump)

and team getting stronger by the moment

we matter, so let's make this thing happen!

God bless

love peace and daddy wave cap grease from the dax can

put this on fialac boards all over the nation

i'm out

shinestar

Not So Great Expectations (more controversy at a later time)

hey hey hey

whut it dew

it's ya folk

updating ya'll on life in the country and my 'Great Expectations'

grades are due monday and i have finished ten minutes ago

because i have to suffer at the friggin' dentist's office tomorrow afternoon at 2:45

and i don't really want to drive over here on friday morning to be a beholder of red devil nation.

true, i am getting older (and hopefully wiser);

all it took was a few nights of spazzing out in the local walmart

 - save money, live better -

my foot; i need to replace some of these mindless peons with initiative-driven adults

who are not drove

i sometimes miss some of my earlier experiences;

captain kenny's, mcgurk's, club brothers, and simply palling around in a raggedy-a** mercury topaz

through conway and arkadelphia and pretty much anywhere the a phi went.

my eternally wavering 'Great Expectations' of life flipflop more than john kerry four years ago....

hopefully barack obama is the change we all can count on.

did you know that sarah palin's first grandchild will be half-black?

and they say the south will rise again...

someone should backhand bill o'reilly and rush limbaugh and sean hannnity and the other racist a**wipes with ike turner's cold, dead

hand.

eat the cake.

as usual, i have lost my way

time to resume saving the world one kid at a time for the next twenty minutes or so

til then

holla at ya man

love peace and daddy wave cap grease

The Eventual Maturation

hey hey hey

what's goin' on?

what, no 'whut it dew'?

same ol' me, just can't sleep (that's all)

it has been awhile since i sat down to spread dry humor without the wet t-shirt

i suppose that caking it on like tartar sauce on a fish sandwich from a certain fast-food establishment would do the trick

here goes...

over the past year or so a lot of things have happened, mostly for the better:
no car payments, better credit, finding lucky jeans that fit- and a real vacation

yet along the way some things have become extremely disgusting to me

sagging, rude customer service, tattoos (if ya have 'em, more power to ya; tats don't do it for me)

as a result, i acknowledge that at 31, i have finally grown up.

no more big-faced rims and boomin' systems;

mohawks and patron shots, gone the way of the dodo bird.

my youthful aspirations of platinum grills and multiple pairs of air jordans, traded for 401k and mortgage payments

ever the serial womanizer settles down

tiger might try again someday

jay-z once said 30 is the new 20:

naw, bruh, it's the same ol' 30

ya gotta grow up eventually -

just embrace/accept it, as that makes all the difference.

til next time

be cool and try to stay out of the arkansas heat unless you're tanning

keep saving money at walmart

and all that other superfluous jazz.

i'm out.

The End of Moonlighting (Where's The Moonshine?)

Preface:  I am not depressed nor anything near suicidal. However, if you are hypersensitive to profane language, I do apologize. Enjoy another round of satiric humor.
-a.ced.a

hey hey hey

hola mami, papi, y los persones todo el mundo

the people have spoken

i need a better job, but where?

a brother can't get anywhere working at this damn walmart stocking dog food all night

and as i ask myself the same question that so many of you present to me:

why are you still @ walmart?

Lord knows, but i don't.

hopefully someone will offer me something very soon that pays better than this bullcrap of a gig

they say the recession is still lingering, but it never truly released me from its evil grasp

hold me down, as you might, but i'm gonna bust these chains

i'm tired, fed-up, and if you would pay me my money today, then i'll never come back to that prison again

kinda have that coach richardson feeling again

am i an angry black man? i've been called a whole lot worse, meaning that i'm not entirely giddy about the graveyard shift

and my education is being wasted by shoving funky-ass tuna flavored special kitty canned cat food upon raggedy, bent shelves

i'm not happy in the least bit

HOWEVER...

it does pay the bills.

what is my plan?

selling dope out the santa fe? hell naw, love my Punkin, truck and freedom too much

plus i ain't that stupid

send massive resumes to everybody and their mama?

been doing that, hasn't helped yet.

then what?

i'm burned-out, y'all

help me before i drink myself to death from all the boredom and ensuing depression

pbr (pabst blue ribbon) and sleeping pills are what i have remaining in the closet

plies once said the saddest man in the world is a nigga who can't provide

i didn't say won't,  just can't despite all the hustling and grinding of sixteen-hour workdays

does that explain why i work so much?

pray that i get my ish together and for a better life

this may be it for awhile;

therefore, three years of moonlighting has got to come to a blessed ending in the way God sees fit

otherwise, it's a lifetime of peanut butter crackers and water

and that would truly suck.

lemme out this mofo once and for all so i can get more fetty and weekends off

my feet hurt, i need to keep grading homework and monitior undrea and the rest of group a @ star academy...

gotta run, just not to the moonshine man up on the hill

will holla

be cool

God bless

love, peace, wave cap grease, and soouuullll!!!!!

Learning On The Fly, Not With My Fly

Dislcaimer:  I do tend to add one of these to everything I write in case I ever slow down to pen my satirical and somewhat autobiographical poetry collection. There is some strong language; if you are easily offended, you may delete this post. Otherwise, enjoy some dry humor not unlike a Texas summer. -a.ced.a

hey hey hey

whut it dew

i know i haven't posted anything in a pretty long time (for me)

but a lot has happened since the last time i dropped lines like pledges that quit alpha phi alpha

por ejemplo (for example, for those whose spanish is still limited to the taco bell menu board)

i got married to my best friend chastity.

she's seen me at my best, and unfortunately, at my drunken, sarcastic worst and she loves me no matter what.

y'all betta stand up, shout, say hallelujah or something!

i'm kinda not working - i'm lying, just not the way i used to

one hundred percent grind isn't really a good way to live though it would be cool to have more money than time

only that my wife would never see me.

hence, i'm trying to be a more family oriented, grownup version of myself.

what else?

i discovered that saline county does have a black barber, only that he is white.

from what i've seen, wendell can cut...but graduating from new tyler, he better be able to work miracles with lines, fades, tapers, etc all that stuff i'm too out of touch to understand all those styles

just keep my beard wide and thick, just like the late great gerald levert.

satire is a lot of who i've always been, but i'discovered twitter about three months ago.

funny how quickly i can drop nuggets of candor in one hundred forty characters or fewer.

wait, text messages are one sixty, so why lop off twenty?

and now, the moment we've all been waiting for:

well, ain't no moment.

life is a series of those smaller moments, and as God allows me to stay on this side of life, i'll keep learning

once i stop, i might as well go find me a hole to dig up and die in there.

married life is living and learning on the fly, not so much with my fly *gasp*

i'ma put it like this:

i can't piss on everything or fuck it all because if i pissed on everything, i'd have nowhere to sit or walk,

and obviously fuckin' ain't what it used to be,

it's better.

til then

support your local blue collar workforce and public service employees as we are the backbone of this great nation

change is a comin' in more places than the ashtray or our pockets

love peace and wave cap grease from daddy red dax can

and in the words of the great philosopher sir mixalot

baby's got back.

Merry Christmas

Too full for words. I hope you've enjoyed the day as much as I have. Before I head off to naptime,  I want to reiterate that Jesus is the reason for the season.

God bless, I'm out.

merry christmas (keep the bleeping receipt)

christmas is here, but did we keep the Christ?

hopefully though i think some of you only kept your receipt

of samsung galaxy gear smartwatches, air jordans, and of course, xbox one gaming systems.

if this is what our holiday has become then i want no part of it

because i need Christ in mine - and everyday for the rest of

my life.

the receipt will only last a few days - or until the item is either used or returned to kohls or lacoste or

wherever.

who am i to critique when i want that big green egg from congo fireplace & patio and

twenty-two inch rims (and new window tint) for my thirteen-year-old escape xlt and the outdoor kitchen of

my dreams?

i am a retail whore...and workaholic, as you already know, but i need a moment to remember what it was

like back in those days

without the twenty-four hour wal-mart and walgreens

when dad and mom only gave us what we absolutely needed and booted us off the

nintendo to go to church and say our speeches and then go see granddaddy and grandma.

oh what simpler times.

am i appreciative of it all? you better believe i'm grateful for my blue collar, git-er-done roots!

somewhere i got lost along the way and forgot that christmas is more than the bleeping receipt -

y'all can keep that.

have a merry christmas and remember to keep Christ in your holiday!

Yielding To The Will of God

Yielding To The Will of God, Jeremiah 18:1-6

Pastor Donald Manning, Thomas Chapel BC, Gould, AR

They still yielded to the will of God although they didn't understand. You can work all day long or solely live on faith, we only stay stagnant. By using both faith and works, we get places. We do belong to the Lord. When you yield to temptation, sin gets put into motion; temptation itself is not a sin since we haven't acted upon it.

We get part of the way through our journey and stop not because of tiredness, but from a lack of faith. Keep moving!

On the way to the Potter's house...Jeremiah is told to bounce to the potter's house and tell the people what they need to hear per God. He wasn't equipped to fly solo (John 15:5). Clay isn't worth much - just a heaping of mud, which is dirt in all actuality. The potter was making shapes to profit from, and those which are insufficient are remolded into something else. Transformation isn't an easy deal, as God through Jeremiah speaks. We have to be changed over by renewing of mind and spirit; be more mindful of God than what you used to be. You're being looked at on potential, not what you're trying to become on your own.

V. 5, 6: Then the Lord told me to tell you, People of Israel, I, the Lord, have power over you,  just as a potter has power over clay.

Isn't that awesome?

#YieldToGod