Hungry Humility

During the men’s NCAA Tournament, the seventh seeded University of Connecticut Huskies went from being a longshot to advance beyond the first weekend to national champions. Led by three seniors and second-year coach Kevin Ollie, the Huskies clawed their way to the top game after game, defeating powerhouse programs from Florida and Kentucky along the way to the school’s fourth national title. Beyond the emotional hunger of “wanting it more”, the team had battled back from being banned from last year’s tournament due to low Academic Progress Rate (APR); rival schools used it against them, calling the university in Storrs a “basketball factory.” As a result, the team was humbled nationally as a lesser institution of higher learning by the NCAA. Late regular-season losses to Houston and SMU did little to support its case as a top tier program despite the Top 25 ranking (18th). Senior Shabazz Napier, the tournament’s Most Outstanding Player, summed up the journey best when he spoke of not only the team’s hunger to win, but also his personal experiences of not having anything to eat at night because he did not have money for a sandwich. His honest moment came not long after reports revealed the Big Dance had its most profitable year, placing a pall on its callous greed. As full-time Christians, we are to exhibit that hunger yet temper it with humility at all times. How? Jesus shows us the way through David to maintain hungry humility.

When we get hungry, we feel a rumble of the tummy and/or weakness signifying it is time to eat. Today, our bodies maintain a routine by the clock: breakfast at 8, lunch at noon, and dinner around 5:30, if possible. If one of the three meal times comes earlier or later, the bodies tend to store remaining energy, as it involuntarily thinks it is starving from lack of nourishment. Therefore, we have moments which we end up eating the first thing that comes to mind, healthy or not; the people at the Little Caesars drive-thru seem to know me on a first name basis. In Psalm 63:1-3, David exclaims that he will always put God first, as he has that burning hunger to serve Him. Verse 1 resembles our initial steps into Christianity when it all seemed so new and exciting with a childlike fervor to share with everyone what we have seen the Light. He further speaks in the other two verses that God’s loving kindness is greater than life itself; therefore, He (God) is deserving of the praise. Jesus comes along in John 6 telling the Bread of Life parable – if you get the time, read John 6:22-69 for the entire story. In short, being hungry is more than just a stomach growling for another slice of pepperoni pizza; it is also having that desire to want/desire/serve/do more.

To satisfy the hunger in the church, one may study 2 Timothy 2:15 to show approval and possess firsthand knowledge, as the pastor may steer the parishioners off-course for personal gain or to determine if they are paying attention. Another way is to give of yourself the opportunities of sharing time, talents, and gifts as embodiment for the greater unit. Most importantly, live in a manner that is pleasing in God’s sight not one overcome in zealotry. Just as too many sweets can rot our teeth, too many fluff messages can leave us unprepared for what the secular world offers.

Just because we are here a season does not mean fill up on the wrong foods of sin; how else can you guide someone if you are taking part in everything they are doing?
Society tells us that being flashy/loud/proclaiming ourselves the greatest sells, and often we fall into that trap. Proverbs 16:18 indicates that there will be “pride before destruction”; reminding us not to toot our own horns too loudly. While we are important to the mission, we are not indispensable. Just as God chose us for a particular role to showcase our unique gifts and abilities, He can easily substitute us in and out for someone more suited toward His program’s successes. Once the task is completed, the status and false ideas of respect are easier to release. For example, I may be able to teach, but I know I was not called to preach before hundreds of people. Stay in your own lane! Being humble is not being a punk, nor is it cowardly; it is an acknowledgement that we know our own limits. In humility, we make sure we are respecting others, holding them in their proper esteem before they insist they show deference. Those who fully embrace this principle make the best spouses, teammates, parents, friends, business partners, and co-workers. Now that we realize all things come from God, we must approach them with a clear understanding of managing resources wisely for eternal usage.

Within the past few years, a phrase called humble bragging has become widespread. This is presenting a false modesty (who, little ole me?) that actually increases a person’s pride. It also becomes off-putting, similar to the Pharisees with their incessant bragging sounding akin to loud cymbals. What I hate about a humble brag is that people try to come off like they aren't bragging. It’s people not being honest about their intention. There is no hunger in that, and certainly no humility in the humble brag as it is displeasing not only to God, but also to our contemporaries.

The Long Road Back

Two years ago, I suffered burnout from overworking myself. I went from being passionate about my students to staring at the clock awaiting 3:10 pm every afternoon; at my second job, overachiever to brutally nonchalant as a result of setting the bar so high. When I stare at the revolving door, the signs are repeating themselves - and this time, I am wise enough to begin planning my exit from what seems to be another dead end. What am I great (not good) at? Will I be able to keep providing for my family at the current level we are living, if not better? Could I remain with one outfit for the next few decades? Is real advancement possible? Wherever I end up next, I sincerely hope it is better than where I have been. 

True enough, my ideal career is technical writer except the openings are far and few in this area. Give me a Monday through Friday workweek with daytime hours and at least average starting salary, and I'll be OK. More than anything else, I must acclimate to life among the living, or normal people, as I've termed them. Confession: Over the nearly twenty years I have spent on the time clock, only ten months of it has been during day hours excluding the eight years in education as I maintained a second job. Crazy? A bit ignorant now that I reflect on those times, but bills had to be paid.

For me, here is the road back. Each proverbial mile marker is another sign of getting to my destination:

1. Prayer. Without the Word from God and accompanying relationship, the pursuit is all for naught and perpetual unhappiness.
2. Fit. Most companies want a circle for a circle peg. If you're a square, you won't ever fit the culture regardless of knowledge and industry experience.
3. Patience. Expect more "nos" than "yeses". Don't let the criticisms get you down.
4. Talking to the right people. It's hard for me to talk to people since I am notoriously introverted, but no one can read our minds. Open up your mouth; it can open doors.
5. Update your resume. It's one thing to list every position ever worked, and another to provide a linear path of progression. By doing the latter, prospective employers know you're serious. It wouldn't hurt to update your LinkedIn and Monster profiles. 
6. Take the right offer, not the first. This is your career, so you always have the option of saying no.

At the current moment, I am embarking on my road back. Will it be smooth? Nope. It's my road, so only I can walk its path. Eventually, I'll be back, and if not, it's well worth the effort. 

Whistleblower Status, Check By Check

Part I

after seven years of the night shift, my body has said eff it.
all this has really tormented me
i do not wish to lose my thirties the same way my twenties departed - on the clock,
at a heavily discounted rate.
i've proven my talents/leadership/knowledge time and time again only to be rebuffed on payday
and worse, a brother can't land a new role around here utilizing said talents/leadership/knowledge
i know i'm a lousy interview, but really?!!
i can't get better if i'm not granted the opportunity.
surely in 2014, the dark skin and baritone voice aren't seen as deterrents:
my afro has been shorn of its locks
- hey, i'm not dangerous angry black man all the time, just enough of it.
you'll get me for who i am and what i know, nothing else.

Part II

what really grinds my goat is the blatant lack of ethics by my employer.
there is no consistency in how rules are applied
the favoritism is so obvious the three blind mice can see it
one can be lied to without an eye batted or quick stutter more to defend said falsehood
my job feels like a good ol' boys club
i expect to be relieved soon because i'm not a card carrying member
despite not missing a day of work the two years i've been here
and performing up to snuff.
hell, i even rewrote the training guide for my role!
unfortunately, i live in place that does not reward intellectual property
hence, back to survival mode.

Part III

even if i won't admit it, we're just getting by.
property taxes have increased
food prices keep rising
gas is an unmentionable expletive
yet our pay is stagnant.
how can i help our economy improve when i don't have anything to begin with?
it's a downer of being in the working poor
our pittance is enough from one payday to the next
saving is a bigger challenge although not (yet) insurmountable
retirement is the ultimate pipe dream that i may not live long enough to realize
even without the plastic, there's a home and two car payments that need to be made
no one put a gun to our heads and said buy the malibu and tacoma
(well, not the toyota anyway)
but we needed newer cars to get to work.

Part IV

so here we are...
living on faith, a prayer, and overtime
will it get better? Lord knows, but i don't
no one wants to struggle to get by
least of all me.
my legacy doesn't need to be one of merely existing
we're better than that.
payday will come and go, then back to thirteen days of struggle
surviving til the next one is the goal.