Dad's Stress Reliever

Many of you know what I tend to do to relieve stress (Hint:  I don’t always write, but this also provides tons of quiet time) and it benefits everyone hours later. I get to plan ahead, work out some creative ideas for the blog and make blueprints for the patio or whatever I am working on, and otherwise pound multiple cans of Miller Lite or this week's favorite cold craft beer in the backyard.

Cash Runs Everything Around Me. Seriously, this C.R.E.A.M. coffee ale is bomb - even at 4:30 am. #beernerd pic.twitter.com/BbFOGbyNcG

— A. Cedric Armstrong (@cedteaches) March 24, 2016

What is my stress reliever?

Barbecue.

I did not say grilling, I said barbecue. There is a significant difference in the two actions.

Grilling is cooking meat over a direct fire in a short amount of time. Barbecuing is cooking meat over an indirect fire at a longer pace, hence the saying “low and slow”.

Even at this juncture in the post, I am dreaming about smoking a beef brisket, two Boston butts, a few St. Louis spareribs, and some leg quarters. I admit that my bone-in chicken game is pretty weak compared to the ribs, yet it is the final frontier before I can even consider myself as a decent pit master. I chalk that up to not practicing enough with the backyard pimp, as my in-laws have lovingly called chicken; who wants to be the guy who spends all night on the smoker only to come away with undercooked chicken and banned from the family cookout? Not this guy. We don’t want it to look like I paid for the toys and the beer only to present some weak grub that will not be easily forgiven or forgotten.

 Which is why, in 2016, I will make barbecue great again!

Am I giving away my secrets? You’d better talk to my wife or read from some other blogger because I’m not talking. However, I am a huge proponent of Applewood chunks when I smoke pork. Everything else, you’d have to be there to see greatness in action.

What are my weapons of mass inclusion?

They are the following:  My grill, smoker, a lawn chair, beer, plenty of wood and charcoal to keep the fire stoked, a thermometer for the meats, and time. Depending on the cut of meat, time could be as short as three hours (ham, turkey) or almost sixteen hours (brisket). The grill pictured below sees quick food such as hamburgers, steaks, salmon, and kabobs; the kind men and women at Little Rock’s own PK Grills suggest that smoking meat for a long time is equally effective for a great cook. I’d rather be able to pass the kids hot dogs and cheeseburgers from the PK than losing that good smoke and steady temperature due to opening and closing the cooker.

Say hello to my little friend @pkgrills #shoplocal pic.twitter.com/n6Kv6g6237

— A. Cedric Armstrong (@cedteaches) March 15, 2016

For smaller smokes, I have a vertical smoker. You don’t have to break the bank for a brand name, and with my green Master Forge vertical, you also need a place in the yard where a burned hole in the midst of green grass is not a cause for consternation. That means Brinkman and Weber are okay for one or two turkey breasts or a more compact meat such as ham. I’ve done ribs on mine but without trimming the edges, I have had some issues with fitment. It doesn’t mean the cook will be less successful just there are some challenges that come with it.

Master Forge vertical smoker

At the present, I haven’t put the new offset smoker through its paces or learned how it cooks due to the rain and other time constraints, but you’ll find out by Memorial Day what the Oklahoma Joe is capable of. 

Daddy's new toy

Should I pass on a secret? Sure, I guess.

DADDY'S RIBS

1 rack of St. Louis spareribs

Secret spices 

Apple cider vinegar (apple juice is OK)

·        Stretch out the ribs and apply the secret spices. I don’t trim the membrane on my ribs, but feel free if that is your thing.

·        Place said ribs in the refrigerator overnight to marinate in its own seasonings. If you don’t have all night, then do it at least one hour before they hit the smoker.

·        Light the smoker. I use charcoal and Applewood, so get the temperature up to 250 degrees and the water pan full of tap or spring water. If you use gas or an electric smoker, still get the temperature to 250. (Since I’m not versed in either technology, I prefer to stick to what I know but to each his own. I’ve tried apple juice, but for my cooks, it isn’t always cost-effective; part of barbecuing is using the resources made available without giving away the farm chasing one or two special items. Besides, apple juice is for breakfast.

·        After the smoker reaches temperature and charcoals are white-hot from the ash, lay the ribs on the smoker. I know people who go directly over the flame and finish in ninety minutes, but I tend to go low and slow. At the end of the first hour, I turn over the ribs for an even cook on the other side and continue smoking. Don’t forget to spritz the ribs with the apple cider at each turn.

·        Depending on the time and how the ribs have progressed, I do take them off the smoker briefly to wrap them in aluminum foil, apply another spritz of apple cider, and return to the smoker for another two hours. At this point, I don’t have to do much more than manage heat and add water to the pan if needed.  

·        After 4 to 4 ½ hours, check the ribs for temperature. If they are at least 185-190 degrees, give yourself an “Atta boy” and remove them from the smoker to rest for another 30 minutes before slicing. If your ribs fall off the bone, then they are overcooked. Maybe next time…

·        During the rest period, I usually sauce the ribs not to cover up what I accomplished earlier, only to accentuate the meat.

·        After the meat is sliced, share and enjoy!

Where there is smoke, there is fire – and in my backyard, a lot of meat lay in its final destination before it ends up on plates and in stomachs. Barbecue for me is a relatively cheap and tasty stress reliever and one that I can pick up tips from my brethren and YouTube without worrying about being a burden to them. Almost everything tastes better with a little smoke, even dessert; nothing says naptime is coming like a grilled banana sundae and brownie.