The 10 Nicest People You Know

Because you know I’m speaking nothing but the truth – and their courtesy is something otherworldly in this day.

10) The meat managers and butchers at the really nice grocery store near the rich folks’ neighborhoods – with the shockingly affordable prices. I have a friend at the grocery store who happens to be a fellow pit master, and every time we see each other, it kind of resembles those Shutterstock pictures of two dudes giving dap.

Honorable mention:  Starbucks employees and the exceedingly polite customers who let you sit next to them to blog and consume iced caramel grande frappuccinos.

9) White people with good beer. Dating back to college (I didn’t drink in high school), the bros who were able to afford the good beer – Budweiser – every Thursday night in undergrad for the parties on Frat Row or on route to the private clubs several miles outside of the city limits were the most generous with the red- and-white cans. Once I turned 21, I began to legally reciprocate the good vibes to younger brothers and pretty much anyone who hung out with me in Whispering Oaks during the summer. These days and thanks to my friends/former coworkers from Nature’s Classroom, I have quite the hankering for craft beer. Send a growler from Berkshire Brewing Company my way, please.

Honorable mention is white people seeing a brother run through the subdivision without calling the police first about the fat guy huffing and puffing in a wife beater and basketball shorts.

8) The Everett Buick GMC sales and service team. Yeah, I know I routinely plug them in just because I’ve purchased our last two cars from the GM lot two miles from the house, but they are ridiculously polite and that cappuccino machine is unreal. The service manager has a standing invitation to the cookout at the Dub Shack and is in more of my daughter’s pictures than some of her aunts and uncles, but that’s because the first car was so heavily recalled. (Shout out to Seth!) They also know that more of my money is coming their way now that GMC announced the Canyon Denali is coming next year:  just make sure mine is a blue crew cab with a sunroof and four-wheel drive.

Honorable mention goes to the ladies at Lane Bryant who see me when my wife runs a balance in that fine women’s establishment to pay the bill and support said habit. You can say the same thing of the Carter’s manager when my daughter gets new clothes.

7) Pastors and deacons who know you tithe faithfully and regularly. Maybe it’s just perception or from what I’ve seen as part of the leadership team in two churches, but I find it funny at times that the people making bank aren’t always the best givers. Then again, there is a certain swagger that comes in doing what thus said the Lord and some people just do it better than others.

Honorable mention:  the guy who lets you make a left turn into McDonald’s during rush hour and cougars who are cleaning house at the roulette tables in Vegas.

6) Bookstore employees and professional librarians. Thanks to them, I’m still on the waitlist for the next Game of Thrones book – and one of the few people on Earth that would rather read the books than watch the HBO series.

Honorable mention:  Church ushers, teachers on the last work day of school, and retiring administrators.

5) Black college students on student loan refund day. Not the one in August, but the second disbursement in October that becomes straight cash, homie. I was one of those students for one year:  everybody ate like kings and queens at the local Tex-Mex restaurant that required people to wear a little more than pajama pants and Greek-letter t-shirts.  Bonus points for those who remember my Gap and Abercrombie obsessions during sophomore and junior years before I began student teaching and started trying to dress like a grownup.

Honorable mention:  Waitresses in Mexican restaurants, mariachi bands, and the old school vet bumping Earth, Wind & Fire at the car wash on Saturday afternoons from the same deuce-and-a-quarter you may have been conceived in.

4) Payday is three times during the month for biweekly employees. There is nothing like balling out before the rent is due on the first.

Honorable mention goes to the doctors with cute nurses who know they are here to make the visits a little more enjoyable - especially if you bring a toddler along.

3) Whole Foods staff. Also termed as Whole Paycheck, they are the happiest retail workers in Arkansas – which isn’t saying much thanks to Wal-Mart having a stranglehold on the Natural State, but they are overly proud of that pound of wild salmon wrapped up in the fresh section.

Honorable mention:  Obama supporters after he had a good week or when he dropped another cultural signifier. Remember when he said folks like to pop off at the mouth?

2) Food pantry coordinators. Yep, I’m talking about myself and all of the others who run food pantries everywhere. Once you fill out the prerequisite paperwork, I’m happy to bless you with three days of food. Moreover, I also deliver within a certain distance.

Honorable mention goes to the guys who routinely get surprise sex from women above their pay grades and Kappas who make three-pointers during basketball games.

And the nicest people we know are…

1) The ice cream man. I’m not talking about Master P driving a white Lexus with gold Daytons spokes, but the lady who shows up in the neighborhood driving a van with the menu plastered on every inch of the rig. My daughter is too young to appreciate this, but my goddaughter Jai’Maya loves hearing the jingle. It’s so adorable, even a miser like me is opening the piggy bank to satisfy the babies.

Honorable mention is the employee who just got an offer for a better job and is dutifully cleaning out his or her cubicle while dancing like he is carrying a to-go plate from Saturday’s cookout to the car.