Dad By Example, Not Just Words

Eight years ago, I had the opportunity to take my dad to the drag races and accompanying car show in Little Rock. While the “drag strip” was truthfully a quarter-mile stretch of broken concrete extending two blocks at Barton Coliseum, it gave pause of what kind of man I grew up with; as his firstborn, I say thanks. It was one of the most fun days in our adult lives, perusing one custom car after another, admiring the work others put into their own vehicles and allowing our inner gearheads to come out in this element. That mostly cloudy August day took me back to those now-realistic stories of the man with the yellow ’67 Camaro owning Carlisle in the days before I was born, indicating he wasn’t always just pop. Most of what I learned about being a man, I picked up from him by example. From digging the water line from the road to the house and enduring the community taunts to becoming a grill master, I owe Kenneth a lot. Over the past few years, I’ve only begun to fully grasp the magnitude of everything he taught us and value in my own life, as evidenced by his mortality: the virtue of patience (fishing); what good music really is – and how to break Columbia House with the twelve CDs/tapes for a penny; how to use power tools safely; making Pinewood Derby race cars more aerodynamic than the competition meaning we would dominate race day; saving for a rainy day; having a grounded moral compass in an interfaith marriage (he’s Catholic, Mom is Baptist); embracing debate/diversified opinions  even when it is contrary to our views; and most importantly, being a good example for Alan and me to emulate.

Paul urged fathers not to take their personal failings out on their children, rather to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). It doesn’t mean he couldn’t lay the wood when we messed up just teach us where we went wrong. Funny how that belt did a way of correcting two boys quickly. Dad isn’t perfect, but he is consistent in what he says and does. A great power for good is at work when our actions reflect the character of God, rather than distort it.  

That’s challenging stuff for any parent, so Paul stresses them to remain strong in the Lord and the power of His might (Ephesians 6:10). Only through God’s strength can we reflect the love and patience of our Heavenly Father. They teach their children far more from how they live than what they say, and we honor our fathers for not only giving us life, but also showing up how to live.

When you see my dad, tell him thanks for a job well done.