Friday, March 31, 2017

What Should I Buy Next?

As much as I love my 2001 Escape and fairly nonexistent commute of thirteen miles to and from work, the car has 203,000 miles on the odometer. It has done the job for our family and would love to keep it until the wheels fall off – and then, we’ll just put them back on – the time has come for something a bit bigger for a growing toddler. I’m not big on another crossover nor do I want to get beaten across the head every time I have to buy fuel but I won’t rule out the right one. I’d also like to have a tow hitch to haul a burgeoning small business trailer as well as kid supplies (stroller, toddler bag, toys, etc.) and a backup camera is mandatory at our price point. That being said, I have a list of vehicles that I think may work for the three of us within a $35,000 budget:

Ford Escape
Trim Level: Titanium with 2.0T Ecoboost
Pros: Brand loyalty to the Blue Oval (best of the three Fords I’ve owned), camera, tow hitch available
Cons: Ford dealers tend to be a-holes with service, 2.0T Ecoboost concerns specifically replacing turbo

Nissan Frontier
Trim Level: Pro-4X crew cab
Pros: Value, proven dependability, tow hitch, available camera
Cons: Kid may outgrow the truck before she turns 5, dismal MPG

Lexus IS350
Trim: Base (the F is another level of pricing and more than the house payment)
Pros: I can keep the Escape, bulletproof reliability, standard camera
Cons: Price, rare but expensive Lexus maintenance, not installing a hitch on a sedan

GMC Canyon
Trim: SLE crew cab
Pros: New technology with decent MPG, tow hitch, standard camera
Cons: Kid may outgrow the truck before she turns 5, SLT/Denali pricing

Acura TSX wagon
Trim: Standard, not sure if Acura made a Type-S in this variant
Pros: Camera, standout in a crowd of anonymity, high value content
Cons: Finding one equipped with V6 is difficult at best, unlikely to find w/tow hitch, eventual Acura maintenance

Wild Card: GMC Sierra
Trim: SLT crew cab (Denali ONLY at the right price and less than 100,000 miles WITH extended warranty)
Pros: Tight turning radius, standard tow hitch and backup camera, roomy
Cons: Those MPGs even in a period of low fuel prices, pricey if not careful


In a dream world, I’d take a (preferably black) E60 BMW M5 with the V10 but have you seen the costs of engine/belts/VANOS/SMG transmission maintenance? I would have to sell naming rights for my next three kids – sorry, I’m one and done like college basketball players – my daughter is perfect. Why mess with that? 

Being Poor Sucks

A few years ago, I wrote Savin’ On the Run with my bride (Actually, we had been married for a year and a half when you read it). Some things obviously have changed since 2013 (house, child, car payments) – and unfortunately, there is still more month than money. Thanks, work for underpaying both of us.  Most of the time it seems like the loot leaves five minutes after the check stubs (and direct deposits) hit our hands!

What you are going to see is a hypothetical summary of my struggle. Try not to laugh at my hypothetical salary, and if you know someone who does daycare at a very reasonable price, send them our way!
Gross Salary
$35,000 per year
401K contribution per year
3% today, need to readjust to something closer to 9%

Because I don’t get company match, it’s only $1,050. Sad!
Tithes to church and/or nonprofit giving
10% of said gross. In other words, $3,500.
Taxes
13%?!! I let the government touch this much money before I can do ANYTHING with it? Thanks for screwing the little chocolate man!

$4,550. Pathetic!
Childcare
$6,250 per year assuming the going rate is $125/week

Too damn expensive
Shelter
$610/month for the next 26 years
(We did get this right and stayed below our original budget)
Car
$335/month for the next four years. Does not include fuel, insurance, and assorted maintenance, but thank God I bought a Toyota for the missus! Note:  this is ONLY ONE CAR. Two car payments is the fastest way to the poor house – and thankfully there is a long-paid off SUV in the driveway.

Food for 3 people
Around $150 per month assuming we can leave that drive-thru window alone. Otherwise, it just doubled.
Life Insurance
$30/month for only me
Internet and Phone(s)
$30/month for the Internet

Phone (today) is $210/mo. You know, gotta stay connected to the world.
Lights/Gas/Water
This time of year, let’s call it $180/mo for all three.

That brings me to $6,150. I didn’t factor in credit card payments because there would be nothing left. However, if I decided to start making my wife’s student loan payments, I’d be on the hook for $4,500 per year leaving me with a free $1,650 over twelve months. In other words, I have a spare $35/week to survive on. 


No wonder why I say being poor sucks. 

Monday, February 13, 2017

Here Comes Caeli Elise!

Two years ago, a trip to the bathroom changed three lives forever.

My wife’s water broke at twenty-three weeks – and we all know what happened ten days later at 4:18 am inside of the delivery room at UAMS.

During those ten days of serious bed rest, Chastity was only allowed to walk to the bathroom and back to her bed with occasional exercise being wheeled up and down the hallways in antepartum. Apparently it is also the place where high-risk pregnancies end up becoming premature births; of the women who went to the arts and crafts class, four gave birth within a matter of hours. I kind of expected to camp out until the doctors’ estimated delivery date of April 2, but of course, Caeli Elise had her own plans of getting out and seeing things a little early. To know our daughter is to understand that she is going to get into everything, especially the things we think she would not be able to reach. So far, Little Miss Sunshine hasn’t climbed on the countertops to reach the box of Cheerios on the refrigerator, but we know that won’t take terribly long.

The nice folks at the Burger King on the corner of Markham and Cedar also got to know me on a personal basis once the UAMS cafeteria started getting expensive. There is nothing like getting a Whopper at 10 pm and trying to navigate the twists and turns of the old hospital and parking deck; fortunately, I was driving a midsize car that fit in almost every parking space imaginable. Sorry, the motorcycle and microcar spaces weren’t happening despite someone cramming a Challenger into one.

For nine days, I split my time between the hospital during the day and the job at night with the occasional run to Target for foot cream or Red Lobster for crab legs.

We did crossword puzzles, conquered Sudoku books, watched a lot of TV, filled out tons of paperwork, entertained a seemingly infinite line of visitors, crammed in labor (and for me, diaper changing lessons) classes, and most importantly, named the baby girl who was knocking around in her mommy’s tummy after spending hours studying baby books and apps.  We thought the next ten weeks were going to be a breeze, particularly after the attending doctor closed her cervix to keep the baby inside for as long as possible and she was making enough water that the bumping around effectively gave away to swimming in the womb like a normal pregnancy.

That changed a few hours after I met up with my best friend for a couple of birthday beers and pub food.

When I tell you labor is hands-down the hardest thing a person can go through, I mean every word of it. Chastity tossed and turned, the anesthesia no longer was doing its job effectively, and she even bit my stomach twice! I was reduced to being a helpless bystander in the room and within an hour, locked out and worried about the two of them. To understand the extent of it all, feel free to reread The Moment Dude Became Dad at your convenience as that really began our 146 day journey in the NICU and series of developmental, physical, occupational, and speech therapies to get to where we are today.

Two years later, we have an amazing big girl who has only lights up every single space she enters but also serves as a living testimony of the power of God. Chastity and I are both witnesses to those who do not believe in our almighty Father to take a close look at this two-year-old angel we are blessed to parent. Yeah, she’s spoiled – but after the two near-death calls from UAMS, why would I limit her opportunities, dreams, wishes, desires, and so forth?

Her journey is why we throw birthday parties and stuff the Christmas tree with presents.

Her days and nights at UAMS and Children’s have enhanced our time together at home.

Her resolve is why daddy and mommy are always #CAELISTRONG – and advocates for preemie babies.

Her innate ability to learn is second to none:  Have you seen our future engineer at work or how she loves being read to? Now if we can get that potty down pat…

As we celebrate our only child’s second birthday, we want to thank all of you for your prayers, support, attentive ears, gift cards, camaraderie, friendships, brotherhood/sisterhoods, and a host of things and feelings I cannot spell out in words at this time. 


Here comes Caeli Elise! 

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Reconciliation

Rec-on-cile 1. To cause to be friendly or harmonious again 2. Adjust, settle (~ differences) 3. To bring to submission or acceptance syn conform, accommodate, harmonize, coordinate

Over the past several weeks, I have run into several people asking me when I would start writing again. Soon, I would keep telling them and myself, but I knew within that I was still tired and had a number of things to reconcile before I started writing again. Was it all worthy of a share that would put eyes on my thoughts and opinions during a difficult period, or would whatever I would post for the world to read simply be a bunch of jumbled-up words – or a hot mess?

Because I am a relatively infrequent blogger if you call one post per week work, I simply put down the blue ballpoint pen and QWERTY keyboard for a while, rediscovered my family, and reconciled my quest for nirvana.

Sounds easy? Trust me, it was not easy – in the words of Marsellus Wallace, I was pretty fucking far from okay. I could blame it on a lot of things; ultimately I had to look at the man in the mirror behind the wide beard and black-rimmed glasses to realize I wasn’t the man I was supposed to be. Projecting a nice outward appearance and happy public face when my private life suffered with turmoil mainly from my own hand and bad decisions that I will not go into at this time reeked of hypocrisy. How could I be great in a world which readily is accepting of being merely good when I found myself in less-than-savory positions and actions?

Image result for pulp fiction

I needed to reconcile some things within myself and begging like Keith Sweat alone wouldn’t cut it.

For one, I needed to come clean about something that had the potential to destroy our marriage:  Having that affair was the stupidest thing I have ever done and even if I had kept the other woman under wraps, it would have been only a matter of time before my wife would have discovered what we did on vacation – and the hidden Discover card statements that included epic debauchery over my week away from the Dub Shack. Those lustful moments nearly bombed our five-year marriage and a friendship that extended nearly twenty years; considering how heartbroken I have been, why did I reciprocate the favor to the significantly better half who has been down since Day One? Was I enough of a douche to think I could get away with it even as my dad and our pastor, among others, had an idea of this fling? Any count, I had to ask forgiveness for what I did and to work through it through prayer, counseling, and a renewed commitment to the vows even when I know she can easily walk away taking our daughter with her. Before even Mama Bear would accept my apology, I had to absolutely submit to God’s Will, ways, and His punishment for the adulterous affair that under normal circumstances would have never occurred.

The next step of reconciliation concerns my job. As everyone knows, I do hate my occupation but I fully am aware that it does provide a fairly decent lifestyle (read: okay salary for the area, unreal health insurance, a certain amount of autonomy, and a relatively light commute to and from work). However, it is night shift – seeing my family comes in fifteen-minute intervals or during the phone calls as I drive my little green crossover along Highway 229 and Interstate 30 is really tiresome at this point and it would benefit the three of us to do more than just nap or eat together. Accepting the fact that it is past time to find a day role that maximizes my talents and experiences as well as pays well enough to maintain lifestyle is another part of the process; hopefully, someone agrees and we can move to an elevated opportunity soon.

Adjusting my expectations is the final step of achieving true nirvana – I can no longer coast from one day to the next day or attempt to overwork myself as an exercise for others’ snarky comments. In this instance, my idea of reconciliation is going to be a bit of an outlier as it has been many aspects of my life. Prior to that 2009 back injury, my happy place was the basketball court; all I needed was a ball and a hoop to air out my grievances with the world. With each made jumper or rebound, I found myself more comfortable in my own cocoon; even if I missed the majority of shots that day, the workout provided a respite from a society that looked at me as an awkward genius with a heavy emphasis on the work awkward. Let me make myself crystal clear:  finding nirvana is not the same as cultivating a relationship with God. It’s a difficulty I still have to reconcile daily; being a do-gooder is not the same thing as being an actively practicing Christian working in ministry. I can do good things and make a big impact for the larger world, but without conforming to His Will, all of that goodwill is in vain.

Just because you are a character doesn’t mean that you have character. – The Wolf


Monday, January 16, 2017

Don't Let the Door Hit You Where the Good Lord Split You

Over the past couple of years, I’ve shared pictures and penned two MLK-related blogs with the social media world, both of which have quickly become some of the most highly read of the 321 posts I put heart, soul, and clarity into. As we all know Friday, January 20, 2017 is the day the transfer of power from Barack Obama to Donald Trump officially happens, I need to share a few words of advice to those who may not be as “woke” as well as those who only seek the day off from work or school to go shopping or otherwise lay on the couch all day for Netflix instead of doing something productive.

Don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.

For all of what we have been told in school and our mainstream shows about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., we hear less about how he used the day’s technology to advance nonviolence than simply sitting at home rifling tweetstorms about the struggle playing woe is me. You don’t bring the black civil rights fight to the forefront without knowing how to capture sympathetic hearts by portraying the horrors of American racism as skillfully as he did. One may also surmise that people dressed better in public, but this was also a time when black children were hosed by fire hydrants and snarled at by dogs and mobs alike as they marched in their Sunday best exposing the inhumanity of our fellow man. Of course, being a learned man (educated at Morehouse and Harvard, among institutions) in addition to following the call to enter the ministry, King also spoke with a fervor reserved for very few others in history!


When he accepted the Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo in 1964, King reminded us not to let our moral progress fall behind our progress in science and technology.

“Modern man has brought this whole world to an awe-inspiring threshold of the future. He has reached new and astounding peaks of scientific success. He has produced machines that think and instruments that peer into the unfathomable ranges of interstellar space. He has built gigantic bridges to span the seas and gargantuan buildings to kiss the skies. His airplanes and spaceships have dwarfed distance, placed time in chains, and carved highways through the stratosphere. This is a dazzling picture of modern man’s scientific and technological progress.”

“Yet, in spite of these spectacular strides in science and technology, and still unlimited ones to come, something basic is missing. There is a sort of poverty of the spirit which stands in glaring contrast to our scientific and technological abundance. The richer we have become materially, the poorer we have become morally and spiritually. We have learned to fly the air like birds and swim the sea like fish, but we have not learned the simple art of living together as brothers.”

“Every man lives in two realms, the internal ad the external. The internal is that realm of spiritual ends expressed in art, literature, morals, and religion. The external is that complex of devices, techniques, mechanisms, and instrumentalities by means of which we live. Our problem today is that we have allowed the internal to become lost in the external. We have allowed the means by which we live to outdistance the ends for which we live. So much for modern life can be summarized in the arresting dictum of the poet Thoreau:  “Improved means to an unimproved end.” This is the serious predicament, the deep and haunting problem confronting modern man. If we are to survive today, our moral and spiritual “lag” must be eliminated. Enlarged material powers spell enlarged peril if there is not proportionate growth of the soul. When the “without” of man’s nature subjugates the “within”, dark storm clouds begin to form in the world.”

When you think about it, tech has come a long way since these words were uttered some fifty-three years ago.


In King’s day, Americans (when they weren’t being openly discriminatory toward black Americans through Jim Crow) were certified ass-kickers:  Consider the space race against Russia or the creation of the interstate highway system and the trickle-down effects of both. Without the innovative spirit of some and President Eisenhower’s vision of travelling the USA in a Chevrolet after seeing the German autobahn, we may still venture up and down two-lane dirt roads or worse, walk everywhere.


With the advent of the internet, the world has become so much closer to us as we are able to carry on constructive and destructive discussions with others across the world. Ideas are expanded – and sometime debunked, yet the compassion we should feel for our brothers whom we see daily is lacking. This weekend pays lip service to getting along, but come Tuesday morning, we are quick to flip the bird at the bro-dozer driver who just cut us off in rush hour traffic or cast ill-formed judgments of people who don’t look or live like us.

You can have all of the things in the world and be materially rich, but if you are emotionally and spiritually poor, then your life and its pursuits are all for naught.

How does technology factor today relative to what King spoke of in Oslo? More than you think – and closer to home than many would expect.

We have become immune to our spiritual needs and concerns with our brothers and sisters by replacing them with stuff. When we have to have an argument about something as fundamental as health insurance for the less fortunate knowing many of us are one paycheck away from being in their shoes, then we have a problem with our relationships with God AND the people we live, work, play, and generally interact with.


And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, yet have done it unto me. - Matthew 25:40

Your iPhone, Yeti coolers, and Facebook/Twitter pages won’t get you anywhere near Heaven; ditto for the McMansion and hiding behind rags that represent symbols.

If you think otherwise…don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.

Technology has also made us a bit standoffish – when we meet for drinks after work (I work overnights – having a beer at 7 am is not an issue for me), I don’t want to talk to your Samsung. I’m here to visit with YOU. Put the damn phone down. Otherwise, I could have stayed at home with my Miller Lite and engaged you via Twitter.

Don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.

Not only am I certain that King would have endorsed Black Lives Matter, but age 88 he still would have been on the frontlines or in an advisory capacity; unfortunately, we would never know that because many of my black heroes and heroines did not have the privilege of living to a kindly old age as a result of standing up for their beliefs in the face of sheer white hatred.
Do #AllLivesMatter in this image? Thought so.

We live in an age where technology has really improved life for all of us, yet the manner in which we use it further insulates us from reality. Take a look at your friends/followers list:  Do the majority of them look/act/work/play/worship with you? If so, it may be time to expand the social bubble a bit. Remember, Jesus didn’t just associate Himself with one type of man as evidenced by His disciples and their previous occupations before they decided to follow Him. He used men who were in various positions of their lives many of which were what we know as working stiffs to change the hearts, minds, and souls of Jews and Gentiles alike as God commissioned.

Is this what we really want when we ask God to enlarge our territories, or is it all for short-term material gains such as a new job, a more reliable vehicle, a smarter home, or Mr. or Ms. Right?

That gap has further exacerbated in the schools as well – and I’ll use the ones here in Arkansas as an example. Depending on what side of town you live on, where are the new campuses built, and where are the old ones closed? What if the school on the other side of the tracks is doing a better job of educating its students than that brand new building over there with the campus wide Wi-Fi? What do we really have to make of School Choice, or is that for schools to resegregate themselves as the ones in Hot Spring County has done such a marvelous job of? Looks like good ol’ racism is better than pooling the sources to advance together for a lot of people – and these days, the state Legislature is helping them out. In defense of Gov. Asa Hutchinson, I am glad he is promoting computer science in all schools statewide except with one caveat:  What happens to those future programmers who do not have internet at home or the wherewithal to afford compilers to check their work, and how do we solve speed? Internet is ideally the same everywhere, but bandwidth in Bentonville is nothing like what students in Lake Village – or even Bigelow – have to work with.

Again, while we advance to places we never could have imagined just five years ago, we must not lag spiritually or morally in fear of letting the door hit us on the way out where the good Lord split us.

Technology can become a zero-sum game but it doesn’t have to be. We have drones that can wipe out whole populations with the push of a button as quickly as they can deliver a pizza to our homes. Consequently, we must remain vigilant of a world that increasingly puts new gadgets in our hands to take our eye off the ball so the bidding of evildoers can be done in the dark. Those dark clouds have been forming for the past several years, and it is only now that the larger populace is awakening to what is surrounding us:  the haves taking the meager possessions from the have-nots and casting their lots upon the altars of lower taxes and white privilege in a last-gasp attempt to hoard all of the wealth and power.



Treason is in the air and too many of you do not care because you’re too busy making America white again. I know the #MAGA logo, but to me, it looks more like #MAWA – and this place could eff around and end up like apartheid-era South Africa was some thirty years ago if you don’t stop playing!

King warned all of us about this day some fifty-three years ago and apparently no one really took heed to it. Now we seem to be paying the price with the Trump administration and a Congress that blatantly shows fealty to “Republican Jesus” rather than use all of the advances technology has made for the greater good.

If all you know about Brother Martin is “I Have a Dream” and not what he stood for before and after that hot summer afternoon in August 1963…

Don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you. 

Thursday, December 29, 2016

2016: The Year That Was

As we get ready to close the book on 2016 once and for all, let us take a moment to be grateful that we’re still here and able to hear or read these words – or in my case, express them in the best way I know how. Together, we took a lot of hits and a few Ls and lost many soldiers along the way yet we still march forward to the beat with the optimism that 2017 will be a better year for each of us.

For example:

Too many icons of our childhoods died. At one point, it seemed like we were all moving from one funeral service to another and the dry cleaners were making a killing on our black suits and dresses but I’m not just talking about our family members. We can fill in the blank RIP (_______) and that may not be enough space or time to honor those who lived life to the fullest or were taken away way too soon, such as the babies in Little Rock; my stepdad-in-law; our church mother Sis. Jackson and mentor Deacon Reed; my counselor from elementary school Mrs. Weeks; Maurice White from Earth, Wind, & Fire; Prince; Harambe; Antolin Scalia; Zsa Zsa Gabor; Willy Wonka; David Bowie; Muhammad Ali; Craig Sager; America as we know it; and countless others.

If you wish to be funny, the botched demolition of the Broadway Bridge does count.

What saddens me (other than President Obama’s last few weeks in the White House) is how this year began with such promise and went down the crapper so quickly. Then again, I did work nonstop for four consecutive months covering a sick co-worker’s illness so I know how pitiful this year has become with the missed holidays and life moments as well as delayed vacation time.

I may not like my job, but I like having my job.

But 2016 wasn’t all the doomsday gloom that we remember it to be:  My wife got a much better car back in January; Caeli had a wonderful first birthday party; the church’s food ministry went live in April; and I am a step closer to selling barbecue full-time instead of sacrificing family time by working the night shift to provide for them. Once the legalities are taken care of, I hope to move enough meat to offset some of the overtime from the swamp and perhaps even enter a tournament or two!

While none of us want to imagine what a Trump presidency is going to look like beginning January 20, it is part of the reality we have to deal with for the next four years. I just hope and pray that our leaders have the gumption to be held accountable by the people instead of the dollars and think tanks that inevitably influence their decision-making abilities – and for those who voted for their skin folk instead of their spiritual/fiscal kinfolks, I learned religion (to them) only matters if it is of the right-wing variety that wishes a return to packing the rest of us into cans of sardines and mackerel so they can be the only fish in the sea. I also discovered an app to identify racists:  Facebook.

Just so y’all know:  When I post pro-black items and factoids and uplifting historical content it does not mean I am anti-white; I’m pretty freaking far from that. American history and most things of significance have been skewed to favor those who have been able to tell the story with a certain slant, and it is only recently when some truths are finding their way to the surface inconveniencing a populace who has believed for far too long in a solely Eurocentric world where the privilege really isn’t what it is cracked up to be. Keep in mind that he who wins gets to tell the stories no matter how inaccurate they turn out to be later.

What did 2016 actually bring us?

Conservative backlash with a vengeance (Van Jones called it whitelash), a newfound idolatry of the almighty dollar bill, and the byproducts of what happens when protected rights are weakened – and let’s not include having to jump through hoops to see justice within the legal system. How a jury in South Carolina could not convict Michael Slager for murdering Walter Scott on video camera is beyond me, but this is the America we’ve come to expect. Ditto for what happens when the Voting Rights Act are parceled out by the Supreme Court piece by piece even beyond the gerrymandering from 2010. To me, it seems like the Republican Party is leading us down a path similar to the apartheid regime of South Africa [where the white minority runs the country].

2016 also brought us a heightened awareness of mental illness and the value of breaking away from stress. Many of you may have noticed that I don’t post with the same frequency as I did earlier in the year – the reason was I needed some mental days (rather: weeks) to bounce back to being myself. The stress of overwork and being pulled in hundreds of different directions simultaneously plus my own stupidity have been the combined cause of losing it at work, a visit to a professional counselor, and otherwise living on autopilot.

Through it all, I am grateful that those who are reading or listening to these words are still with me in one capacity or another. Thanks to my amazing wife and toddler daughter for putting up with me all year long through the ups and downs of the journey; my friends, family, and neighbors for not forsaking me when I was at my lowest; the swamp for keeping me employed when the Keefe coffee alone wasn’t enough; our church family for being there for each other; and for even those who found me outside of their world or I don’t see enough, I’m glad you’re still around.

God bless, I’m out.



Thinking 'Bout You

It’s been a month since I crashed the Maybach into that tree
Was I drunk? Quite possibly but that falls as my own responsibility
You were better than cute but I couldn’t claim your beauty as my own, so I put it on layaway
Until the day it was abruptly cancelled.
I’ve been thinking ‘bout you
I’ve been thinking ‘bout you
I’ve been thinking ‘bout you
Do you think about me too? Do you, do you?
Or maybe it was just a fling, something I read too much into
Or maybe it was something more? The potential was always there…
My counselor tells me that you’re a special kind of dangerous
I need to clear you out my mind just like your number and Facebook
Yet I feel you are a kindred spirit so damn good to me
And I know you’re not good for me but I haven’t quite detoxed
I’ve been thinking ‘bout you
I’ve been thinking ‘bout you
I’ve been thinking ‘bout you
Do you think about me too? Do you, do you?
Or maybe it was just a fling, something I read too much into
Or maybe it was something more? The potential was always there…
I don’t like you but I thought you were cool enough to kick it
I’m closing on a snow lodge in Florida if you think I’m selling wolf tickets
Why else would I have kissed you? I’m going back to my life in Camrys and eating kale
‘Cause living in the ‘burbs is nothing but LOL
I’ve been thinking ‘bout you
I’ve been thinking ‘bout you
I’ve been thinking ‘bout you
Do you think about me too? Do you, do you?
Or maybe it was just a fling, something I read too much into
Or maybe it was something more? The potential was always there…
I cannot think about Next Lifetime when I have two
You were my only affair, a strange feel
I cannot wash away the scent of loving on another woman no matter how hard I try
Beyond praying for forgiveness all I do is sit in my truck and cry
Wanting God to kick start the process so my family can heal
I need new memories, the kind that fades from color to sepia
Or do you not think so far ahead?
‘Cause I’m thinking ‘bout forever – with them.