We are told to "pray it away". Come on, we're better than this. You mean...the members who work as counselors aren't the best qualified to help us when we have our situations? By oversimplifying the issues and leaving them for the church alone to solve them is a prime example of spiritual malpractice - taken in that context, who would want that allegation levied against him or her? Prayer is an important component; keep in mind that God places people in our lives to get us through the trials and storms of this life.
Jesus heard them and answered, “Healthy people don't need a doctor, but sick people do. I didn't come to invite good people to be my followers. I came to invite sinners.”
Mark 2:17
In the Black church (I speak as a straight male as I've had friends to have been shamed out of the building due to an out-of wedlock pregnancy or coming out of the closet), purity culture is not as prevalent as it is in their white counterparts. While it is certainly preferable to be fully abstinent before marriage, understand that more often than not people are going to have sex. The church in general has made people feel ashamed of their truths whether they are LGBTQ+, aphrodite, etc., and there is a specific Scripture that reminds us of the imperfect people who have been great in Matthew 7:1-6.
Don't condemn others, and God won't condemn you. God will be as hard on you as you are on others! He will treat you exactly as you treat them. You can see the speck in your friend's eye, but you don't notice the log in your own eye. How can you say, “My friend, let me take the speck out of your eye,” when you don't see the log in your own eye? You're nothing but show-offs! First, take the log out of your own eye; then you can see how to take the speck out of your friend's eye. Don't give to dogs what belongs to God. They will only turn and attack you. Don't throw pearls down in front of pigs. They will trample all over them.
Matthew 7:1-6
If you cannot control yourself due to someone's appearance if the woman's dress is too short or the gentleman in question is showing moose knuckle plainly, it is not a God problem as much as it is a YOU problem. Review the aforementioned text and put yourself in those shoes.
Remember as a kid having to sit through fiddy-leven programs for the pastor (or afternoon guest minister) to yell, "You going to Hell, boy!" as he collects a check for his token appearance to put the fear of God in you instead of the encouraging text said occasion deems necessary?
Me too.
Often churches preach and demand fear to keep the members in line with the eternal consequence of Hell. How? By signing and committing to oaths, implying that the only way to God is by voting a certain political party, accepting Scripture at face value during Bible study - the best time and place to question what they have been taught versus a revelation that could be life-altering, requiring only one version of the Bible as the standard, a public list of tithers, and so forth.
He makes us worthy to be the servants of his new agreement that comes from the Holy Spirit and not from a written Law. After all, the Law brings death, but the Spirit brings life.
2 Corinthians 3:6
Don't get me started on tradition.
There is a fallacy that there is only one way to receive God's blessings. Not everyone hears Him the same manner you do, and who is to say what works for Sister Johnson would fit Deacon Brown?
Christianity doesn't require you to surrender LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE.
God doesn't intend to punish us, but wants us to be saved by our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Thessalonians 5:9
Me, just prior to the COVID-19 shutdown in mid-March 2020 in Arkansas; we are usually dragged into progress kicking and screaming, and the church is no exception:
There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but they all come from the same Spirit. There are different ways to serve the same Lord, and we can each do different things. Yet the same God works in all of us and helps us in everything we do. The Spirit has given each of us a special way of serving others. Some of us can speak with wisdom, while others can speak with knowledge, but these gifts come from the same Spirit. To others the Spirit has given great faith or the power to heal the sick or the power to work mighty miracles. Some of us are prophets, and some of us recognize when God's Spirit is present. Others can speak different kinds of languages, and still others can tell what these languages mean. But it is the Spirit who does all this and decides which gifts to give to each of us.
1 Corinthians 12:4-11
Leaving my current church is hard given the relationships cultivated over the past nine years, birthing a ministry, the fervent prayers for Little Miss Sunshine in her earliest part of her life, and even becoming an ordained deacon yet one thing is certain beyond the title that moves with me for the remainder of my days: a bit of gratitude would be welcomed instead of implicitly being forced into a pejorative task that my heart isn't particularly into lately. I've also really taken to livestream worship as if most people cannot tell for a number of undisclosed reasons namely the backroom politics and pastor(s) more enamored with physical optics than the actual mission he is called to in saving souls and at the very least, familiarizing himself with the community the congregants reside.
That time has come.
Wherever we land has to be authentic in its quest of saving souls in addition to being a much-needed spiritual hospital beyond a country club set of entitlement for a few and crumbs for the rest. Not having to put out one fire after another without a respite would be advantageous as committing to what this saith the Lord is indeed a fulltime task instead of the Sunday morning at 11 am deed for clout and/or a paycheck.
The point is that 1)none of these roles pay a red cent and 2)they are known for taking me away from my own family without recompense. An indirect price I have had to pay is consistently having to share my relevant real-world experiences and educational background for FREE .99 with a group who pursues its own agenda to the detriment of the congregation.
Using the title for a sexual favors beyond unethical; unfortunately, it happens and is more often than not swept under the rug.
Don't be immoral in matters of sex. That is a sin against your own body in a way no other sin is. You surely know that your body is a temple where the Holy Spirit lives. The Spirit is in you and is a gift from God. You are no longer your own. God paid a great price for you. So use your body to honor God.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
When allegations are brought forth, they absolutely need to be taken seriously! If not, how can anyone in leadership be trusted much less respected?
SOUND THE ALARM.
NSFW
Below is the story of Tamar and a brother's vengeance:
David had a beautiful daughter named Tamar, who was the sister of Absalom. She was also the half sister of Amnon, who fell in love with her. But Tamar was a virgin, and Amnon could not think of a way to be alone with her. He was so upset about it that he made himself sick. Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, who was the son of David's brother Shimeah. Jonadab always knew how to get what he wanted, and he said to Amnon, “What's the matter? You're the king's son! You shouldn't have to go around feeling sorry for yourself every morning.” Amnon said, “I'm in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.” Jonadab told him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be sick. When your father comes to see you, ask him to send Tamar, so you can watch her cook something for you. Then she can serve you the food.” So Amnon went to bed and pretended to be sick. When the king came to see him, Amnon said, “Please, ask Tamar to come over. She can make some special bread while I watch, and then she can serve it to me.” David told Tamar, “Go over to Amnon's house and fix him some food.” When she got there, he was lying in bed. She mixed the dough, made the loaves, and baked them while he watched. Then she took the bread out of the pan and put it on his plate, but he refused to eat it. Amnon said, “Send the servants out of the house.” After they had gone, he said to Tamar, “Serve the food in my bedroom.” Tamar picked up the bread that she had made and brought it into Amnon's bedroom. But as she was taking it over to him, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me!” She answered, “No! Please don't force me! This sort of thing isn't done in Israel. It's disgusting! Think of me. I'll be disgraced forever! And think of yourself. Everyone in Israel will say you're nothing but trash! Just ask the king, and he will let you marry me.” But Amnon would not listen to what she said. He was stronger than she was, so he overpowered her and raped her. Tamar's brother Absalom said to her, “How could Amnon have done such a terrible thing to you! But since he's your brother, don't tell anyone what happened. Just try not to think about it.” Tamar soon moved into Absalom's house, but she was always sad and lonely. When David heard what had happened to Tamar, he was very angry. But Amnon was his oldest son and also his favorite, and David would not do anything to make Amnon unhappy. Absalom treated Amnon as though nothing had happened, but he hated Amnon for what he had done to his sister Tamar. Two years later, Absalom's servants were cutting wool from his sheep in Baal-Hazor near the town of Ephraim, and Absalom invited all of the king's sons to be there. Then he went to David and said, “My servants are cutting the wool from my sheep. Please come and join us!” David answered, “No, my son, we won't go. It would be too expensive for you.” Absalom tried to get him to change his mind, but David did not want to go. He only said that he hoped they would have a good time. Absalom said, “If you won't go, at least let my brother Amnon come with us.” David asked, “Why should he go with you?” But Absalom kept on insisting, and finally David let Amnon and all his other sons go with Absalom. Absalom prepared a banquet fit for a king. But he told his servants, “Keep an eye on Amnon. When he gets a little drunk from the wine and is feeling relaxed, I'll give the signal. Then kill him! I've commanded you to do it, so don't be afraid. Be strong and brave.” Absalom's servants killed Amnon, just as Absalom had told them. The rest of the king's sons quickly rode away on their mules to escape from Absalom. While they were on their way to Jerusalem, someone told David, “Absalom has killed all of your sons! Not even one is left.” David got up, and in his sorrow he tore his clothes and lay down on the ground. His servants remained standing, but they tore their clothes too. Then David's nephew Jonadab said, “Your Majesty, not all of your sons were killed! Only Amnon is dead. On the day that Amnon raped Tamar, Absalom decided to kill him.
2 Samuel 13:1-14, 20-32
While they're watching you hoping your sin makes their sermon prep easier for them (trust me, it happens - I should know), the church misses the boat on forgiveness and what John 3:16 says.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
Folks need to mind their own business and check their own closets.
When the church feels faker than a three-dollar bill or an extension of bad theology, this happens.
Ain't no need in falling out all over the place or putting on some outward show. You Pharisees have your just rewards.
Lay off the gas.
Read Matthew 7:21-23 below for why 👇🏿:
Not everyone who calls me their Lord will get into the kingdom of heaven. Only the ones who obey my Father in heaven will get in. On the day of judgment many will call me their Lord. They will say, “We preached in your name, and in your name we forced out demons and worked many miracles.” But I will tell them, “I will have nothing to do with you! Get out of my sight, you evil people!”
Matthew 7:21-23
Thanks for reading this post. It originally began as a TED talk I gave via Twitter (@cedteaches), but as I began giving more TTs over there, I was afraid of losing content so I did the next best thing and brought it here to AD&AD. Am I jaded with the church? Absolutely not. I just understand what can drive some of the most beautiful people away from the church and where much of the blame lies in that result. Also, I've really taken a liking to livestreams as I work the night shift and am too old to torture my body into staying awake all night and through 11 am Sunday morning worship just to make a few people feel better. Trauma does come in all different shapes, sizes, and manners; remain cognizant that when one thing bothers a member of the flock, it should offend the entire group.
May God bless you and keep you in my prayers.
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