Buck Up, Cowboy

Life is settling into a “new normal” – whatever normal was in the first place. It’s been four months since we’ve been thrust into life in the neonatal intensive care unit and no one has died from the experience. Are we perpetually tired? Yep. I have a hard time staying awake but that’s nothing new; that has been the case since early 2001 due to lifestyle choices and the unpredictable nature of the NICU. Eventually, we have to buck up, remember that this is a season, and normalcy will come back in due time.

One major note from the Dad Chronicles that everyone should acknowledge is regardless of your past goodness and upright lifestyle, storms are a part of life. It may be a thundershower, a tornado, or hurricane with F-5 winds – it doesn’t really matter, a storm is a storm. More often than not, the scariest parts of storms are the random thunder claps and lightning strikes and torrential downpours. Consider this:  as children, we knew that stormy weather automatically equaled indoor play. Board games and 7-Up! replaced outdoor kickball and chase – back in the ‘80s, Sony only delved in high-end electronics, Microsoft was in its infancy, and Nissan actually made good cars that people wanted with normal transmissions. Another thing from those childish days was that you can tell that the kids who usually misbehaved in school are silent during the severe weather! Those moments during which may seem like the storm might not ever let up are the ones which ultimately make us stronger, as they imply we are in the eye – sunny days and a rainbow in the sky are imminent.

What is the “new normal” that I write about? Why am I telling myself to buck up, cowboy?

The “new normal” is parenthood. Caeli has needs far greater than my own wishes, and I have to buck up and be the father God has commissioned me to become; ditto for being Chastity’s husband, beyond that “dude payin’ bills around here” rant and purveyor of a good time. It’s okay to feel sad, overwhelmed, and perhaps even a bit angry; however, I eventually have to find my way back to normal. For example, I have not volunteered at the food ministry in town nor completed the logistics for the church’s own food pantry since February. I’ve used leave as an excuse not to resume life as I knew it previously, but it is time to come back. Would it be believable if I told you that I am a board member of CJOHN (Churches Joint on Human Needs) or a deacon-in-training at Mount Zion if you never saw me? I need to show up and play an active role that others may see the living testimony called being Caeli’s daddy and all of the other titles and descriptions used to befit me.

During the rodeo, the cowboys who ride bulls do so always knowing the risks involved. For every time one can stay on the bull for eight seconds without being bucked, numerous cowboys suffer broken bones, concussions, lost teeth, punctured lungs, and even death stemming from their injuries. Does that stop them from climbing onto the saddle? No. Until a forced retirement happens – Father Time is still undefeated – they keep climbing on the Brahma bull and keep riding. Even after broken bones sideline them for months, professional bull riders yearn to go back to work, for it provides an adrenaline rush.

Hezekiah turned toward the wall and prayed. 2 Kings 20:2

— A. Cedric Armstrong (@cedteaches) June 14, 2015

Similarly, Hezekiah had to buck up late in his life. The king led an upright life which resulted in many of Israel’s successes although his reign was bookended by his evil father Ahaz and son Manasseh. Upon contracting a potentially fatal illness, he turned to the wall and prayed. Hezekiah had every opportunity to wave the white flag, yet his unwavering belief and deeply authentic prayer to God are what cured him. Of course, he had to follow other instructions to receive the full blessing given to him:  an extra fifteen years to live. In an earlier post, I mentioned time is the one commodity we cannot control, only manage; God gave Hezekiah additional time.

What are you doing with the extra time allotted to you daily?