I'm a (Turkey) Breast Man

2020 has been a wickedly strange year for all of us. One day after all of this is over, we should be able to regale the babies and grandchildren of the times we wore cotton, N95, or mesh masks and practiced social distancing everywhere, and did Zoom calls for Thanksgiving, memorial services, birthday parties, school, livestream worship services most Sunday mornings, touchless grocery shopping, and an infinite number of events we normally would have been able to attend in-person for the protection of one another. 

But seriously, we're here for the smoked bone-in turkey breasts:  Let's do it to it.

INGREDIENTS 

Turkey breast (obviously; anywhere from 6-8 lbs is ideal)

Salt 

Black pepper

Garlic powder

Poultry seasoning of your choice (normally, I'm a Tony Chacere Cajun guy - try my Cuban sandwiches one day)*

One stick of butter, frozen

PREGAME.  To maximize the tenderness of the turkey, I chose to brine it. No one I know likes dry turkey, and you can get the prepackaged ones from IHOP with a sliver of gravy if you disagree. What's a brine?, one may ask. It's a way of adding flavor to meat that may otherwise run the risk of drying out. In mine, I've used boiling water, kosher salt, and white sugar in a large enough stockpot that can hold the bird safely over the period of time needed typically 8-24 hours depending on the size. A longer brine period makes for a more tender bird, but if time is against you, a dry brine [the aforementioned mix sans water] can work: I've done it both ways. After that pot boils consistently (approximately twenty minutes, but results vary), take it off the oven, add your turkey and enough ice to cover the top. What you're doing now is shocking the bird - now is not the time to get to cooking. Stick the pot in the refrigerator or a reliably cold area such as a cooler in a ziploc bag and check on it, adding more ice as needed.

Ice bath

STEP ONE. Sometimes barbecue requires a man to bring a shovel to swat a fly, and sometimes the fly swatter alone is enough. Whatever vessel you smoke a turkey breast with, make sure you get it to 300 degrees before introducing it to a smoke nap. In this cook, I'll use a mix of pecan, hickory, and apple woods to get it tasting and looking just right. 

I brought a shovel to swat a fly - my big boy smoker 

STEP TWO. If you haven't already done so, season your turkeys with the style you like best; most years, I'll only use a Cajun dry rub in the spice cabinet but this time I will tone down the heat a bit and using salt, black pepper, garlic powder, and a generic poultry seasoning.  Let them spend time with getting to know each other on the turkey before bringing it to the smoker. 

Let's stay together like Al Green wants us to 

STEP THREE. The bird is entering its serious phase with the seasonings, and as soon as the smoker comes up to temperature (minimum 275 degrees), bring it to the smoker for its tanning session. Unlike most people, this is the time I add that frozen stick of unsalted butter to the cavity because I don't have to worry about basting every 45 minutes instead just sitting back and enjoying Al Green crooning Love and Happiness🎙.

I'm not doing a 1:1 ratio of one hour to one beer but it's a nice metric

STEP FOUR. Once the bird gets to the desired color, then feel free to wrap it in aluminum foil. Of course, if you're lucky enough to have butcher paper in spades, then use it instead. At the first hour, check your progress with a Thermapen or handheld digital thermometer. Turkeys are done at 165 degrees, so just hang back and parlay. I haven't awakened the neighbors with LTD or the Gap Band in a while, and this isn't the morning to try it.

Looking good, looking good 

STEP FIVE. Keep jamming - the best barbecue is happy barbecue. I'm glad I own coveralls even if this isn't the original purpose of the ones I get annually. Remember, turkey breast is done once it reaches 165 degrees so don't get too complacent out there.

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STEP SIX. In the miracle of time, this cook is finished. I've brought it in and gotten a few nibbles, but I've got to show you what it looks like. 

Trust me when I say it tastes better than it looks

Smoking turkeys - which I've done each Thanksgiving since 2015 - is the thing that gives my wife extra space to cook the sides and gives me a reason to contribute to the meal more than just being the deacon who prays over the chow in the kitchen. (If you're in Saline County, save me a plate - hope you've got cake LOL). While 2020 has given me every reason to go nontraditional and do a fish fry instead, family is what ultimately matters and makes up the memories:  Unlike some people I know, you simply cannot buy moments to fit your ideas of a perfect group. Family is not defined as much as the people we are born with in comparison to those who truly matter regardless if those people are neighbors, close friends, coworkers who are grinding it out in a hospital, police department, nursing home, or any 24/7 facility.

Happy Holidays and thank you for allowing your friendly pitmaster at Dub Shack BBQ where every day is a GREAT day for barbecue to share some time with you!

God bless, I'm out.