Next Chapter

I’ve written this letter over and over in my head, yet I find myself prereading it and throwing it away into the annals of history along with the ideas gone bad each time. Each moment of our lives exists for a season and a purpose that no one really knows or understands until we have either departed the period or are introduced to a new challenge that can completely change the trajectory of our lives for the better or worse. Would it be for the best? What are the risks in taking such a plunge? How would my family feel about this? More, how will the next chapter affect my own relationship with God beyond the titles and busywork the ministry unintentionally layers upon me?

Maybe this is all coming out because I am nearing age 40 and I feel like although I’ve accomplished a lot, more needs to be done and/or seen. I’m young yet the indiscretions of youth combined with the immaturity associated with naivete escaped me several years if not a decade or two ago.

Maybe this is all due to witnessing the seasons of happiness and heartbreak within the same short period firsthand. You know, the dash upon our tombstones represents a relatively brief time on this rock; we aren’t intended to make the earth our permanent home. Even Methuselah died – imagine how much he saw in 969 years!

But…this is not supposed to be a melancholic letter that could have more than a few of you making welfare calls on my behalf nor would I want that.

Everywhere along this journey has defined me in terms of experiences, interactions, and relationships (neighbor, coworker, congregant, teammate, relative, frat brother, teacher, deacon, etc.) and all of you have been invaluable in the process. These words are incredibly difficult for me to pen without making them sound like a suicidal note (I AM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF. I HAVE NO DESIRE FOR THAT ENDING); due to the fact of not knowing what the future holds, I must keep Ecclesiastes 11:6 near me.

Sow your seed in the morning and do not be idle in the evening, for you do not know whether morning or evening sowing will succeed, or whether both of them alike will be good. – Ecclesiastes 11:6

Which is why:  After eleven years of toiling on the overnight shift, I am bringing my sleepy eyes and untapped talents to the day shift. There will have to be some adjustments to be made such as not coming to work disheveled and reestablishing a morning routine without taking a nap. This survivor has a very compelling story to tell – and when I say survivor, I am referring to years of underemployment relative to my professional background and making a dollar our of fifteen cents. I recall a professor from undergrad frequently repeating the line “crappy jobs build character” during his lectures; in my case, each step has been a part of the process to this very moment.

Saying goodbye is difficult yet inevitable. Just as I have gladly said sayonara over the years to my hometown of Conway; shed a few tears leaving Arkadelphia, the town where I met my wife and most of my closest friends; and chunked the deuces to Colebrook/Winsted, the neighboring towns that forced me out of my comfort zone and aside from a few interactions with law enforcement along Route 44, were generally okay places even as my blackness seemed simultaneously exotic and threatening. As of today, there are no intentions of us leaving Springhill Manor for it was here when we became homeowners and parents – our daughter will forever be a native of Bryant, Arkansas.

You may wonder what happened to Dub Shack BBQ. Simple:  It’s still in the periphery and possibly something I can really dedicate myself to upon retirement from this role. In the meantime, I admit I am guilty of being too laser-focused on getting a storefront instead of a trailer first and building a clientele; by doing so, I put the cart before the horse and we all know what that result is. I’ll still make box lunches periodically and occasionally cater events; as for hitting the KCBS circuit, I cannot justify spending all of that money on meat for only a few bites that can make or break a weekend. I’m also working on some new sides that I cannot disclose at this time but when I’m ready, you will get an invite to the cookout.

No matter where the next chapter takes me, you all have mattered in more than words, deeds, actions, etc. than you shall ever know. I’ve had some pretty awesome people around me at all stops even when disagreements could have obliterated any semblance of a relationship developed and cultivated.

Again, this is not a goodbye – it’s an “I’ll see you around” kind of moment. I am a call, text, tweet, or email away if you ever find a desire to reach out, and I’ll do my part to keep those lines of communication open.

May God bless and keep you in my prayers.

With all of my love,

ACedA

The blackest thing I've seen all day pic.twitter.com/E8aJ3QKVYd

— A. Cedric Armstrong (@cedteaches) October 3, 2018