2015: The Year of Petty

Pet-ty - 1) having secondary rank or importance; 2) having little or no importance or significance; 3) marked by or reflective of narrow interests and sympathies:  narrow minded

As if you didn’t already know that 2015 has been the year of petty shit.

I won’t go into co-workers and colleagues being overly concerned about the things that do not matter in the grand scheme of things because we all have them. Besides, I’ve written at length about them and their awful pettiness throughout the year. You’d be amazed at what people have cried #whitetears over or the beefs on social media, specifically Twitter.

In the end, all this petty behavior is not only laughable but also a complete waste of time. If you’re not ready for some trash-talking and ROTLFLMAO satire, then you are a perpetrator of petty shit and need to move on to the next post.

For example:

·         Grown-ass men having beef on social media and two of the weaker diss tracks in recent memory. If a singing nigga like Drake can out-rap the supposedly gangsta Meek Mill and make a video wearing Dockers and a tight sweater doing the Carlton, then rap just isn’t your thing. Also see Future vs. Ciara (and Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson, by default) as bitch-assness gone to another level. She left you for a man who isn’t giving her the D. That should tell us something.

·         I thought we weren’t spending one dime during Black Friday weekend. Apparently, not everyone got the memo because some supposedly grown-ass woman dropped-kicked a toddler over a $39 blender from Wal-Mart. WAL-MART?!! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!! That damn blender runs $39 year-round; just because it was on a stack base doesn’t mean trample a tot to get the same deal you’d get any other day. Brother Louis Farrakhan ought to revoke your black card.

·         Karma comes down quickly when you pop off at the mouth and Black Twitter has a field day with it. Even our once-untouchable heroes like Bill Cosby are not immune to the pettiness. Now pull your pants up and eat a pudding pop while thirty or so women get the rest of your wealth and sully your legacy.

·         Dudes fighting over Kardashians. ‘Nuff said.

·         Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless are the queens of sports pettiness and the reasons why I have almost given up ESPN. Watch First Take and see how it compares to Real Housewives of Atlanta or whatever NeNe Leakes is doing these days.

·         When your woman quits you, let it go. There are too many females to be caught up over one piece of ass. No need for driving ninety miles to fight her new man…except if she beat you down in the divorce agreement and you’re on the hook for five or six figures of alimony and child support like Grizzlies forward Matt Barnes.

·         Today’s Republican Party is the definition of petty shit – narrow minded, homophobic, racist, and still resentful that President Obama won TWO terms after seven years in office. They hate on what he wears (the tan suit) and the use of executive privilege to serve the citizens better. Why haven’t the members been taken behind the shed and put out to pasture is beyond me, but what bewilders me are Trump supporters. In addition, the manner in which each candidate danced around race after the Charleston shooting and subsequent black church burnings throughout the South calling a crime of religion instead of what it is shows the importance of their actual concerns about black America.

·         The Missouri state representative who filed legislation that revoked athletic scholarships to those who protested for equal justice. Another round of #whitetears for super fans who only want black student-athletes to say “I played good” or something monosyllabic to let them think their fandom equates ownership of the athlete. What happened to the student part of student-athlete? The University of Arkansas takes pettiness to another level by not only burning football quarterback Brandon Allen’s truck, but also slandering a high school student for spurning the Hogs to play basketball at the conference’s flagship hoops school.

·         The part-time janitor who managed to destroy a betting pool just because he was not invited to join and his compatriot who open his damn mouth to mess up the money. Just petty!

·         With few exceptions, never trust a black man without facial hair. That should go without saying.

·         Since when did sagging become a crime punishable by jail time? Apparently this year in Tennessee. Whoever wrote that piece of legislation is guilty of petty shit and needs to pay that fine plus do jail time. I don’t care for seeing the bottom of another person’s underwear, but there is a certain freedom protected by the First Amendment. 

·         Arkansas state senator Jason Rapert is the definition of petty. See definition #3 and his social media presence for more, but I bet he learned how to ply his bigoted trade from that snooty-ass redneck (and current perpetual POTUS candidate) former Gov. Mike Huckabee.

·         In general, conservative rationale is petty shit is perpetual motion. You’d wonder when the Fox News watching Limbaugh and O’Reilly listeners would step off the hamster wheel to think for themselves, but they are busily having sane judgment clouded by extreme right-wing rhetoric.

·         Furthermore, #whitetears looks pretty salty from here:  the angry Star Wars fans; the trolls who peeked at the light on December 3 when The Wiz was live on NBC upset to see an all-black cast performing The Wizard of Oz. In truth, it was a remake of the 1975 classic starring Stephanie Mills, Diana Ross, and Michael Jackson; did we gripe about the original Wizard of Oz when not even the midgets were black?

·         Quoting a friend of mine, I’m sick of these lowbrow hoes and hoe-ass niggas.

·         Shout out to the people mad over little stuff they’ve been holding all year. You’re the reason why drug companies make so much money off your high blood pressure and unnecessary stress.

·         The guy in Mississippi who shot the Waffle House waitress because she told him that he wasn’t allowed to smoke in that fine establishment of waffles and hash browns done all the way. Surely he could’ve gone a few minutes between Marlboro reds to eat his extra-greasy breakfast and carry on, but no! His petty ass had to let her know who ran things   over what was probably a $7 meal.

·         Black America has clamored for a conversation on race for years, and it happens only when the media decides to promote Rachel Dolezal (a white woman with weave and a super tan who worked for the Spokane NAACP who pretended to be black – or whatever transracial is supposed to be) as the voice for it. Imagine that petty shit – and when she denies playing the privilege card, she uses it to go on tour.

·         The hypocrisy of Hotep. While anyone who says #AllLivesMatter in a group of black folks rightfully deserves to go sit down in the corner, who deemed some of us to be the blackness police? My brand of black is beautiful, just as the rest of us. A unified front does not have to be a monolithic front.

·         The idea of transferrable skills to other jobs. In blue-collar and the entrance to white-collar jobs, that is a fallacy – and for the employers who require applicants to check every single box regardless of experience, that’s some petty shit. I may not be the perfect applicant, but I can get the job done better than someone who may be! Also, the pay and health insurance have to be worth the jump.

I can go for days reviewing all of the petty shit 2015 dumped on us, but we’d enter 2016 trying to censor the smallminded and talking about the same thing. Like Peppermint Patty, we spend too much time paying attention to the things that do not matter now much less in five minutes.