Over
the past five-and-a-half months, I’ve had a steady stream of thoughts and
insights pertaining to the Dad Chronicles and our journey into parenthood. Now
that we have Caeli home with us, I am spent in nearly every way possible yet
excited for the next steps in our adventure. As I sit in my office hoping that
I do not have to pick up the walkie-talkie to answer relatively redundant
questions, I reflect on life in the NICU.
Where
do we go? What do we do? What does the future hold?
Fortunately
for us, we have some world-class people only one phone call away to help with
anything pertaining to baby bear’s health. However, I am unable to keep them on
payroll at my house – at their rates, it wouldn’t be a good idea to do so, but
pediatrics and neonatal care are their strengths, just as I excel with the
written word and simplifying technical processes into bite-size pieces to
digest. I think I could’ve done more to be prepared for this day, yet no one is
truly 100 percent ready to make steps into an unknown world.
This
is where I must dig deeper into my faith.
It was
easy when I had something to battle daily, but how do I handle the prosperity
of a healthy daughter? God knows the answer; surely He will manifest it to me
in due time. I’ve constantly blogged about our days, nights, weeks, and months
as a therapy, but what happens when the Dad Chronicles are completed and no one
is interested in the life story anymore? Will my wife and I be able to return
to relative anonymity as new parents, or is this an omen of something greater
we are both called to do?
One
thing I definitely do know is I do not want to miss Caeli growing up. I need to
find a day job that pays our bills well enough; I am not looking to become a
one-percenter after struggling for so long overnight although I’ll accept the
role if I can keep an active presence in her life.
What
do I mean?
I’ve
worked almost constantly for the past twenty years in okay situations (for the
time) and dead-end roles, and for most of that time, it has been evenings or
the graveyard shift. I’d like to become the father I had as a kid who always
had time for his progeny (Thanks, Dad!) even if the money didn’t fall out of
the sky when I wanted stuff. Looking back on it, those Air Jordan V sneakers
fell apart within one year of finally getting a pair. Maybe he was on to
something there.
Maybe
not to the extent that Chastity will miss interacting with the nurses at UAMS and ACH daily, but they’ve all grown to become extended members
of the C. Armstrong family. I’ll definitely miss them. Can I fit them all in
the backyard for a late-summer cookout? I do not know, but I bet it would be
some kind of fun to see all of you and them in the Dub.
The
future does hold the usual fistful of pediatric care for our blessing as well
as all of the memories to be made with her. In addition to teaching her about
all things Reddie, introducing her to great R&B music from Blackstreet and
other groups, and seeing her achieve milestone after milestone at her pace,
Caeli is afforded a privilege that people seemingly dismiss: a God-fearing two-parent home in the suburbs
with a great school nearby and better neighbors. Will every day be perfect? No,
but we make the best of any situation we face.
Thanks
to all of you for supporting us all of the way through our pregnancy and early
entrance to parenthood with your thoughts, wishes, encouraging words, prayers,
gift cards, meals, helping hands, and so forth. Certainly I’d love to name all
of you in this section, but I’d mess around and miss someone so it is best I do
not omit anyone. You know who you are.
#CAELISTRONG
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