Jamal Bryant preached a sermon about it.
Even I've found out firsthand that these hoes ain't loyal.
So what happened, and why do I feel this way now?
It's a long story, so grab a bucket of popcorn, take off your shoes, and find a comfortable seat on the couch: This is gonna take a while
Not always the $40 kind but you're reading
With apologies for the LinkedIn screenshot because Twitter (I know it's called X, but the only X I recognize is Malcolm) is being a twit about sharing my own tweets on other platforms, this has to be said.
Who/what are these disloyal hoes?
These hoes can be our jobs, our partners in any and all facets of life, and yes, even the organizations we pledge fealty to.
So...when did I realize these hoes ain't loyal? Was it getting passed over yet again for another promotion that created the Eff You vibe that I have been working through the past several months? Was it when my manager lowballed my salary requirements for the last role I interviewed for, and otherwise minimized my body of work? Biblically speaking, had I become Hosea watching the landscape shift before my very eyes in favor of the loosest floozy who may/may not be around after ninety days?
. 
It makes me wonder.
For the six weeks I was resting and rehabilitating from my radical prostaterectomy, the only constants were the new routines of my day: Wake up, walk from one end of the street to the cul-de-sac and back, pound twenty ounces of water, do Kegels for fifteen minutes or so, and fall asleep in the recliner to the news, a business course I was taking, or the droning babble of YouTube as content creators retold varying versions of the same stories over and over. For the first couple of weeks, people reached out and we engaged in conversations that ranged across the gamut. What they were specifically about is immaterial only that they happened. My own coworkers mostly left me to my own devices in whooping prostate cancer, and even then I caught the occasional text message of encouragement or to answer a role-specific question. As my own struggles were locally publicized via blog, the way the community coalesced around me was nothing short of unreal!
I should have taken more pictures; as painful as some of the early days were and the bodily betrayals which ensued, at least the real ones were still around after the dust settled.
I can't always say the same in other facets of life.
While I am always happy to see someone get his/her money, promotions, new roles, etc. at work, the way I and some others had been bypassed consistently for one reason or another began to really grate on my nerves. What's the point in giving 100 percent when the results and rewards do not reciprocate the effort, particularly when someone so vastly under qualified can be elevated solely because of nepotism or being more visible to decisionmakers?
Is HR the gatekeepers we have always thought they were?
In another episode of "these hoes ain't loyal", I can finally speak of what prompted my family's decision to leave one church congregation for another house of worship. As the chief finance officer (CFO) among other hats this deacon wore, it was my fiduciary responsibility and obligation to the church body that we were not only simply paying the bills but also shoring up the reserves as well as remaining mindful of the upcoming expenses such as property taxes, the annual insurance premiums, payroll taxes with the federal government [Uncle Sam wants his pound of flesh from the church 501(c)3 exemption be damned - let no one say otherwise], etc. Late last year, I was asked to break protocol and pay the musician in cash under the guise of pastor's instruction. I declined to do so, and instead of having support and backing from the chairman of the deacon board, he berated me as if we had not codified policy within the past fourteen months. Maybe I should have turned in my keys and removed myself at that very moment, but for some strange reason, my logical reaction is to see things out in hopes of an aberration that would not repeat itself. Over the next few months, I discovered midweek cash transactions occurring primarily to circumvent the required paperwork and mandatory two signatures for accountability. Fortunately, the numbers matched up by Sunday morning but the headaches continued to mount as the pigeonholing became more frequent. I had already witnessed the end of the new members course, and as the known food pantry director, my role was minimized to cutting the checks and opening the doors each third Saturday morning instead of identifying external opportunities for growth and expanding our focus. Lastly, let's not get started on the tech overhaul that quadrupled in cost overruns and now is as underutilized as an independent voice among liberals or conservatives. My own household packed up its spiritual bags without me although the decision had been made a couple of weeks earlier.
Where was the loyalty and support for my own growth, development, and leadership? Crickets.
Life has a way of becoming a proving ground of sorts, especially when the faithfulness proves to be a complete waste of time. When the hoes - can be male or female, by the way - get what they want, they often discard the soldiers who paved the way for a better present and future. See how Black people get trotted out in front of the public eye as heroes and the Next Big Thing until our honesty or opinions run contrary to what is implied of the soul who originally checked off boxes before they are called everything but a child of God and demonized before the evental sanitizing. With this acknowledgement, often posthumous, it merely tries to whitewash the truth spoken to power so violently assaulted in its moment.
Disagree? I have modern examples.
Why is Arkansas so hellbent on not teaching Black history to the point that the reason for denial is that it makes some people uncomfortable?
Which Israel matters, the Biblical one or the ethnostate established in 1948? They are NOT the same.
Why do we celebrate the lowest denominator of people as if their values are to be aspired toward?
Y'all do it, stop lying.
When we start taking stock of ourselves and making the moves that ultimately benefit our legacies, we will find that being loyal to hoes leaves us broken, stunted, and otherwise bitter as a result of wasted energy not limited to time and cash.
Growth is walking away rather than throwing hands.
