Thursday, November 5, 2015

30 Days of Thanksgiving, 2015 Edition

Thansgiving, Thanksgiving, Parts
I have to say 2015 has hands-down been the most gratifying (and scariest) year yet, and I want to thank all of you for riding up and down the rollercoaster with us. While I do speak for my own family of three, this set of gratitude extends well beyond the month to all of you and what you have been or done for us over the year. It isn’t over yet, but check this out:

  1. I am thankful to see another year. Shout out to God before I get into the rest of the thank-you movement, for without Him, I don’t know if we would have made it this far.
  2. Let’s get this one out of the way:  I am eternally grateful for good health insurance and the jobs that provide excellent group plans.
  3. I am also gratified for what happened at 4:18 am on February 13:  the birth of our daughter Caeli Elise. She’s been a bundle of joy every single day since and will always be. Daddy loves you, Baby Bear.
  4. I am indebted to my wife/best friend/GOAT/Caeli’s mommy Chastity for not only carrying our angel for the time she did, but also having the faith to keep me even-keeled as some days were scary and others, rainbows and overflowing pots of gold. I love you and always will.
  5. The love received from our friends, co-workers, neighbors, church members, and families has been nothing short of overwhelming!
  6. I’m indebted to the staff of doctors, nurses, and specialists at UAMS and Children’s Hospital for all they have done over the course of 146 days to care for Caeli. Your professionalism – and eventual friendship – has made the journey more than worthwhile. I especially want to thank Lorrie at UAMS and Emily at Children’s for being there as primary nurses and quick to advocate for us during the times one of us were unable to be there.
  7. I am appreciative to Donnie Ray and Sam for knocking out one of the major tasks I planned for the house when we moved in two years ago:  new flooring. Now it feels more like home and less of a borrowed space.
  8. Of course, I am beholden to my own flesh-and-blood brother Alan for being the best sibling I can have. With this expansion, it’s no longer #weallwegot; I just have to get you down to the Dub one of these days.
  9. I’m glad to have other brothers around me not limited to high school and college buddies; frat brothers; fellow deacons and men of good report; neighbors; pastors, past and present; co-workers; cousins; brother-in-laws; childhood friends; and the guys I met in the NICU. If I named them all, I’d foul around and miss someone, so thanks for holding it down regardless of where you are.
  10.  One thing I am relieved in having is the gift of the written word and being able to share our journey via blog in the Dad Chronicles. I still haven’t made a decision to publish, but it will always serve as an internal look from fatherhood in my eyes.
  11.  As much of a headache it has recently become, I am glad our cars are in good working shape. Thanks to Seth and the entire Everett Buick-GMC team for what they have done, troubleshooting the car (often) and their bangin’ loaner cars and trucks. I will be back for a red Canyon Denali crew cab sometime next year once the money gets saved!
  12. In a world where we are satisfied with the good, I have to share the bad. Thanks to the City of Arkadelphia for reminding me that racism has not gone away even after graduating so many years ago from Henderson State. You can call that a shot at Mike Voltz and Officer Sparks, I really do not care. A city-owned public water park is NOT private property. It just means I have to teach Caeli that not everyone is in her best interests and she can always disavow support by the power of keeping her money in her pocket. #truecolors
  13. I am much obliged to my in-laws for keeping baby Caeli as I slept during the day. The village does expand eight miles east after all and any direction needed.
  14. I am content that I have become a decent pit master. If you need smoked pork butts, ribs, or brisket, I can handle that! Just bring beer and a lawn chair so we can have a good time shooting the breeze.
  15.  I am grateful that even through it all, I can still find humor in most things.
  16.  I am pleased to know that there are still people who genuinely care about me and my family. If you’ve made it into our internal circle, congratulations. You know who you are.
  17. I am contented that after 42 years of hard work and dedication, my dad finally retired from Nabholz Construction! I’m pretty sure I won’t give any single employer that kind of time, but that is a testament to manning up every day and getting after it. Enjoy retirement and your two grandchildren Aston and Caeli, pop.
  18. Thank you to everyone who fed my fat behind throughout the year or provided gift cards as a respite from standing in the kitchen having to come up with one more meal.
  19. I am gratified for all of the diapers, wipes, clothing, frames, artwork, and everything else Caeli has been given. Those are all hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars of items that have been on-time.
  20.  Although I am looking for a daytime role that pays more money with better hours, I am thankful for my job and the things I am able to take care of working in the industry.
  21. I am indebted to the women in my life:  my wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, cousins, sister-in-laws, and aunts for who they are and what my daughter can become as strong black women.
  22.  I’m still appreciative of quiet time even at 3 am. While I don’t get to sit back and read the next book in the Game of Thrones series as quickly as I once did or opine on parts of the Bible we did not hear about as kids, having even five minutes to myself is enough of a foundation for a good day.
  23. I am grateful for lower gas prices! #ThanksObama
  24. I am glad to have sound body, mind and spirit, able strength, and decent character, even if I am too self-deprecating at times. It also means that for many of you, I am indeed the same knucklehead you met me as not that long ago or way back in elementary school. The afro has picked up a nice gray patch up front and that gut consists of good food and Miller Lite.
  25. I am beholden to all of you in one way, shape, form or fashion and proud to have you in my life.
  26. Moreover, I am relieved that we’re all here to share the days together regardless of where we are in our lives.
  27. I am contented that I have gotten past the sadness that comes with sports teams losing. Hey, I am a Henderson graduate, Miami Heat, and Boston Red Sox fan, so I know what losses are all about. It also makes the victories sweeter!
  28. In addition, I am overwhelmed for your prayers throughout the year and letting God move you as He says go, wait or stay.
  29. I am thankful for sleep. Anyone with a baby at home can understand why.
  30. Lastly, I am grateful for the journey which my life has taken me. From fast food and retail to education and waste management, a happy marriage, and now fatherhood,  I have seen a lot of things and all of those experiences have somehow shaped me to be better than I was in the beginning. Here’s to greater successes in the future!
Thanks, Friend, Card, Friendship, Word
You know how this all ends:  God bless, I’m out.



Tuesday, November 3, 2015

My Take of the 2016 Presidential Candidates

Because, you know, it’s way, way too early for this schadenfreude.
Image result for democratic donkey logo
I know what that word in bold means, etymology and all:  enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others.  Why people take such joy in others’ flaws is beyond me – and why I cannot (today) in clear conscience endorse any candidate.

In one year and a few days, the American public will have the opportunity to select the next President of the United States. Will it be the boisterous one who we’ve seen on TV every night? What about the one who is running from a track record sixty miles and thirty years long? Or perhaps someone out of the blue that we do not know anything about today yet makes the most compelling argument to become POTUS 45? I really don’t know, as I don’t have a crystal ball that I can foresee that far into the future.

What are the issues I hold most importantly to me?

In no particular order, my major concerns are domestic policy; education; civil rights; infrastructure and environmental issues; and the economy. Read below to understand what I am looking for in POTUS 45 as a leader of an increasingly diversifying nation. 

Domestic policy:  Now that I’ve gotten a foothold into the middle class, what tax policies would be enacted to keep me there – or at the very least, make life for my daughter easier than my own struggles? Is that even possible? I’m talking about tax reform, EITC, the Social Security I do not expect around in thirty years, and how laws are applied to all Americans versus the haves and have-nots.

Education:  I’m blessed to have been able to attend AND graduate from college with minimal student loan debt thanks to hard work, academic scholarships, prayers, and a bit of luck along the way. I also shook that beast (Sallie Mae) off two years ago! Unfortunately, six-figure student loan balances are becoming a way of life and not only does that impact how young adults begin life, but also it makes going to school tough to justify. How do we prepare citizens or retrain for a better opportunity of life without breaking the bank or spirits of so many people with a lot to contribute to society? Not everyone needs that four-year liberal arts degree – what about scoring a trade such as automotive repair or plumber? There is a larger demand for those two fields than a philosopher doubling as a barista, no offense to Starbucks associates everywhere.

Civil rights:  Obviously, I am a big supporter of #BlackLivesMatter. We know what happens when Quan shoots Ray-Ray; less certain is when Officer Bob fatally harms Jamal. That does not mean my brothers and sisters who are not African-American matter less; it means that our issues need to be brought to the forefront albeit forcefully to inconvenience the privileged classes into seeing our point of view. That also means equality for our LGBTQ brothers in addition to our Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Asian, etc. sisters. In short, if the American Constitution states all people are equal, it should mean all people are equal. Period.

Infrastructure and the environment:  Our inner cities, roads, and bridges are crumbling all around us and we have tough decisions to make. The last time around, whole communities were fractured and further divided (see Interstate 630 in Little Rock:  south of the freeway, the city looks destitute; on the north side of , vestiges of middle-class life still exist as those homeowners move west to Chenal and beyond, but for how much longer?) How do we pay for new bridges and highways if we all worship at the altar of low taxes and cheap fuel? What, if where, can we sacrifice for the next generation of commuters? A few years ago, I was okay with the idea of converting certain highways into toll roads; however, states do become reliant on that revenue stream and eventually becomes a crutch too great to nix. See Florida and New Jersey as the wrong ways to use toll roads.

You’ve heard the fallacy that brothers do not care about the environment:  That cannot be further from the truth. It’s difficult to reduce, reuse, and recycle when we’re trying to survive day-to-day but it does not mean any less.  When the jobs are in the suburbs and Raheem has to flip his license plate to put $2 of gas in a box Chevy to get him there because public transit is unavailable, it means he has to spend a larger part of his take-home pay to work for an employer who may or may not want him on the payroll. Also, we’re conscious of the fact that living in the concrete jungle is more harmful than being in the country surrounded by trees and plants that thrive on carbon dioxide intake BUT SOME PEOPLE DON’T WANT US THERE. Our present concerns include the purity of our water supply; the extended effects of fracking; and locally, where the new landfill will be located. More than a racial happenstance, the disadvantaged do not have a voice in where the landfills and prisons end up which often are placed “across the tracks” or “the wrong side of town”. What kind of world are we leaving for our children and future generations if we’re so hell bent on profit from fossil fuels? What about exposing them to innovative solutions not limited to recycling those nickel and lithium batteries (yes, Prius and Tesla drivers, I’m looking squarely at you and your smug demeanors toward a cleaner Earth)? Why does food-to-table organic living cost so much more than it actually should and is relatively unavailable in food deserts?

The economy:  That’s a no-brainer. I expect to work intelligently to provide for my family and compensated as such; it would be unfair for my wife and daughter if I had to work 80+ hours weekly for eight bucks an hour and somehow miraculously pay for our monthly expenses on time, save for both college and retirement, and not petition for a fair wage. As prices have gone up, my dollars have stagnated, and it takes more of them to purchase much-needed items and services. Low taxes are not everything. Reinvestment in the people will take the American economy further than a few owners stockpiling all of the cash to build a balance sheet appealing to a few investors.

I laughed at Mitt Romney’s suggestion that “we built that” for two reasons:  1) my ancestors built this nation on their backs via blood, sweat, and tears and have not even received a benevolent thank-you; and 2) when those not of a privileged class hustle for a seat at the table, we are often accused of “wanting free stuff”. Well, if you weren’t born with a silver spoon and spent the bulk of your life on third base with a clean uniform, then you would see the inequalities of this system. It’s free market until someone finds an angle to serve the masses in a more affordable manner; the jobs situation is scarce because it is easy to blame the brown men and women for taking the gigs we were too lazy to work; and our schools are too busy teaching us to be employees, not creators. How else can we be the best if complacency rues the day?

Looking at the field for both the Democrats and Republicans, it may be a case of holding my nose next November when I vote. Below are the candidates, parties, and my own thoughts:

Democrats
Image result for 2016 democratic presidential candidates
As much as I want to like Hillary Clinton, she hasn’t really endeared herself to being fully transparent and is the master of the expedient political decision if it helps her ratings. Of course, having the past twenty-three years in the glare of the public eye does not fully help her cause since we already have a formulated opinion of her abilities. I’d probably have to hold my nose in the general election and vote for her because of the next few candidates and I generally am nonplussed with them.

Bernie Sanders seems like the trendy pick to me – and one from a bygone era. How can I feel the Bern if I am still struggling to get by day after day? His populist message does resonate to a number of friends, many of whom are still in their twenties and early thirties and have some faith in the promise of a great nation. He’s definitely under consideration although the conservative media will have a field day with the “socialist liberal” candidate.

Martin O’Malley is interesting because he is the former governor of Maryland – and prior to that, the mayor of Baltimore. While I do respect his moderate stance on gun rights and how the state ranks in education and employment categories, the troubling thing for me is how Charm City was run:  beyond Camden Yards, West Baltimore, and the suburbs, crime is rampant and the economy has tanked. Of course, corruption within City Hall and the police department do not support his claims of being a reformer particularly with the late Freddie Gray brought to the open. His perceived callousness toward Black Lives Matter is another strike; when he had the opportunity to make a difference, he chose to reward the more affluent than to help the least of us.

Lincoln Chaffee (former Rhode Island governor) and Jim Webb (former Virginia Senator) should have hung it up by now.

Republicans
Image result for 2016 republican presidential candidates debate
I was a fan of Ben Carson until he opened his mouth. It seems to me he is trying too hard to be the black best friend to white people who do not want him around, and with the hard-right rhetoric he spews; it shows an Eff You to the people who helped him make it from inner-city Detroit. Maybe it’s the political novice label he proudly wears, but this will be remembered come general election.

Donald Trump sees this as free publicity and a big-ass money grab. A master of persuasion, he should be fully aware that being bombastic does no favors in the daily drudge of legislation with zero-sum boasts of winners and losers. He’s the candidate that if he wins, I will sell my house and move my wife and daughter to Ghana – or Canada, more likely. His Make America Great Again! slogan hearkens to an era of white supremacy and if you’ve not noticed how he generalizes black and brown people, then you should. I don’t see how any of his campaign tactics would work well in a general election, but we did elect Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush to two terms each. Apparently, a man with a fistful of dollars is more of a success than his own character and actual forward thinking. I feel like he’d be the POTUS to bankrupt this nation, but we’ve been morally broke for a long time.

Carly Fiorina has the same problem as Ben Carson to me:  too busy running to be the “binders” candidate. Being the woman in the field is not enough:  what are your plans beyond Sunday morning talking points for the economy? Moreover, how can I trust her to lead this nation when HP was run aground?

Jeb Bush is the legacy candidate. Why should I ride with a guy who was born on third base with a silver spoon when his brother in large part is the reason why the USA is disrespected worldwide? Check out Eff Yo’ Hookup from my blog to go further in depth about his recent tone-deaf statements about the rest of us. Once the mainstream pick for POTUS, he’s lost his way trying to appeal to an older, whiter base that believes everything Fox News (owned by Australian Rupert Murdoch) tells them. In addition, he’s responsible for Stand Your Ground – the law that allowed George Zimmerman to get away with killing Trayvon Martin.

Ted Cruz is the tough-talking Texan with no substance and the paragon of hypocrisy. If you remember how he (among others, Lindsey Graham and Marco Rubio are included in this group) voted against funding aid for the Jersey Shore after Superstorm Sandy only to beg the government they so avowedly stand against for relief with its own storms. He also should’ve realized that Canadian citizens cannot run for POTUS for how he pestered President Obama for his own birth certificate which he produced in long form as a Hawaiian resident, but for many of his supporters, since Cruz isn’t black, that’s okay.

Marco Rubio may be the most sensible Republican candidate remaining. He’s definitely an impatient young gun who cannot come to work after doing everything in his power to get a position. However, he is a beast at foreign policy having worked on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee as a pragmatic thinker and once he can grasp the fact that Cuba will be a reliable trade partner in the years to come, he may be the dark horse to win next November.

I honestly have no love for former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee. Having lived in the state for nearly his entire ten years as the state’s CEO, he is little more than a snooty redneck who hides behind his brand of fake religion to appeal to the uninformed. His time in American politics has come and gone with the best chance being in 2008. Besides, he also destroyed his email servers upon leaving the Governor’s Mansion in Quapaw and has the audacity to criticize Hillary Clinton over her personal server as Secretary of State.

Ohio Governor John Kasich does have a bit of a pragmatic streak as he accepted government dollars for the Patient Protection Affordable Care Act, but in this environment, that pushes him into also-ran status. It is also impossible for me to support a candidate whose actions do not align with policy.

Bobby Jindal is what happens when you turn your state (Louisiana) into a testing ground for extreme conservatism. As Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback is learning from the serious shortfall the Jayhawk State is suffering from due to tax breaks for the wealthiest of citizens such as the Koch brothers, Jindal chose to worship at antitax advocate Grover Norquist’s feet at the risk of reversing years of advances and continuing the Pelican State’s reputation as a haven for corruption. In addition, when he turned down money for PPACA, many residents who have struggled for basic necessities such as health insurance are being saddled with another crushing load the state could have easily picked up. A Brown University graduate should be smarter than that, yet he not only slashed dollars earmarked for colleges and universities save LSU, but also brought up merging Grambling State and Southern universities as one HBCU with little regard for the schools’ rivalry. How can I trust this guy to lead our nation when he makes the dumbest decisions and pissed away any goodwill from rebuilding New Orleans post-Hurricane Katrina?

Rick Santorum is a one-trick pony. Like Huckabee, his time has come and gone.

Rand Paul makes a compelling case for the general candidacy yet his record – and having his father Ron Paul campaigning for him – are working against him. While his attempted outreach into black America is to be applauded in his commentary about Ferguson, he fell on his face at Howard University when he was pressed with specifics. I have to give him points for showing up, but the Ayn Rand ideology just isn’t going to cut the mustard in 2016 and beyond; libertarianism only benefits those who already have the capital and access to success and labels everyone else as losers.

Lindsey Graham is perhaps the one person who could dominate foreign policy debates. Unfortunately, being the POTUS requires more than being Israel’s best friend and a professed war hawk; America needs a complete leader who knows something about fiscal and domestic policy instead of the party comedian.

George Pataki and Jim Gilmore:  Game over.

Chris Christie could have been greater as New Jersey governor, taking over a very pro-Democratic state albeit a crooked state. Unfortunately for him, primary voters will remember his embrace of President Obama after receiving Superstorm Sandy aid as a treasonous move and in the general election, he has the appeal of a mobster. How can I expect him to run the nation when like Jindal, Brownback, and Oklahoma’s Mary Fallin, he cannot balance the state’s books?


In truth, this is way too early to think about next year’s election and none of the candidates have proven themselves worthy of my vote. 

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Dream Car For High School Graduation List

I know it’s been nearly twenty years ago since I walked across the Farris Center to get my high school diploma (Go Wampus Cats!), but I saw this thread on Motor Trend and it seemed interesting enough:  What five vehicles (preferably the start of a new generation) would you have in your dream garage? All models have to be the same year as graduation.

Here are mine. Pictures are coming soon. Unfortunately, 1997 was a bad year for cars beyond #1.

1)    Porsche Boxster. Hands down, no questions asked.
2)    Honda CR-V. For an incoming college freshman living away from home for the first time, this one makes all of the sense in the world. The fact it got 28 mpg is a definite bonus and that novel picnic table in the cargo area…
3)    Pontiac Grand Prix GT coupe. Yeah, yeah. The Wide-Track Pontiac commercials got me – and my uncle had a black cherry coupe that looked nothing short of badass even if reliability wasn’t one of its strong suits. Besides, I needed one for the home team and the Chevrolet Malibu/Oldsmobile Cutlass just wouldn’t do it.

4)    Ford F-150. Aside from the horrid mpg and from growing up with nothing but Chevrolets, this could’ve been the truck to own. Try finding one today at a reasonable price and see what you get.

Image result for 1997 ford f150

5)    Toyota Camry. More my demeanor – dependable wallflower – but you could really jazz one up without breaking the bank; it would likely be the car I’d still drive to this day if I only was allowed one vehicle from the list.

Honorable mentions:  Toyota Rav-4, Nissan Frontier, Honda Prelude


Feel free to share your dream garage. 

Stay At Home Dad Chronicles

You knew there would be a self-titled chapter eventually, didn’t you?


In a strange way, I already am a stay-at-home dad. Hear me out about how I’ve arrived to that conclusion.

First and foremost, I still have a job:  night shift in the same place I’ve spent the past three years – the control room for a certain local waste management facility thirteen miles from my house. The financial impact of staying on the graveyard shift as our daughter grows has been minimal since I was not working during the day already and voluntarily switching to nights; even so, those plum roles do not come easily to people like me. Aside from being a scheduler at IC right out of Henderson, I hadn’t worked (or lived) like normal people in twelve years and counting.


What do I mean “people like me?” Not what you think.

Educated yet underemployed. A master wordsmith but an oratory disaster. Overworked and underpaid, and quick to fall asleep.

I hope this blogging thing works out one day. Whoops, I digressed.

Being a stay-at-home dad (so far) has meant that we have bonding time and I can feel like I’m doing well by and for Caeli. Of course, she requires more than diapering and feeding – I have real skin in her total health, ex. if she’s eating well; how much she slept; tummy time; and even getting to spend some part of the day outside in the sunlight absorbing Vitamin C. Unfortunately, today’s high is supposed to be a balmy 61 degrees and raining for at least one more day: What a nice day to go out and people watch. 

I know this will not always be the case – I pray daily for a daytime gig that provides a reasonably more comfortable lifestyle plus similar health insurance benefits – so I best enjoy little Caeli while she’s small. She won’t remember that brand new white Z-71 pickup her Daddy has had his eye on, but she certainly cherishes the play days, being read to, and even nap time!


I don’t screw around all day and watch ESPN. C’mon man, that’s the stereotype.


There is a lot more to being a stay-at-home dad, and surprisingly, I really do not watch TV on my days off beyond those DVR’d episodes of Fast ‘N Loud, Street Outlaws, and various barbecue shows to stoke my inner pit master which I catch during the wee hours of the morning after Caeli has been put back to bed.

When do I write?

Normally during the morning if I’m not sleepy. Otherwise, I’ll save the note-taking for those far and few dead moments when I can brainstorm ideas and future blog topics to expand and potentially share with the rest of the world. Note:  I have not shared all 197 posts to social media, but you can read them anytime. 


These days I try to manage the calendar. Doctors appointments? Check. Feeding time? Not that long ago, it was once every three hours; now, only when she’s ready to eat. Keep in mind the house needs to be clean, dinner cooked, and earlier in the year, the grass needed to be mowed. I know one day I may also be the one picking up and dropping off Caeli at school [Springhill Elementary is two miles away, and it seems to me that many Bryant residents do not exactly see the need for sidewalks along major thoroughfares, but I do], so add that and homework schedules to the agenda.

In truth, I am not entirely a stay-at-home dad because of the night job. Allow me to remind you that I do have a lot of help from my wife and in-laws on those workdays as it does take the entire village to raise our daughter. In addition, I really do enjoy the quality time with Caeli and watching her grow daily because I am not only her Daddy but also her first teacher. 

Monday, October 12, 2015

Million Man March @ 20

Twenty years ago today, defiance was one of the greatest feelings about being black in America.

We could’ve “burned this bitch down” or continued a “we’ll show ‘em” defiance gassing our angst due in no small part to the rap music from our teenage years and the concept of a Million Man March. Thanks, 2Pac, Snoop, Dre, Westside Connection, Outkast, Goodie Mob, Bone, and the late Eazy-E for being the soundtrack of my struggle. For a significant number of us, the idea of Day of Absence from schools, work, and the American economy as a whole appealed to my generation. Even with the media mystifying and slandering the idea of black unity, it felt right to want to be a part of something larger than ourselves.


Imagine one million black men in the same place for one unifying uplifting cause. That’s what scared the Man – and what began (theoretically) a spiritual reclamation project:  to reassert the black man’s role in the family, the community, and dispel the stereotypical behaviors pushed by NBC, ABC, CNN, Fox, and others.


As with today, the justice system profited from the surveillance, scrutiny, and fear associated with black skin back then. The only differences are we are quicker to support our interactions with video and our activism in shedding the light on unsavory deeds within our legal, political and economic systems. In a way, we all should thank St. Louis native (and Twitter founder) Jack Dorsey for allowing us to get our message out to a larger crowd in 140 characters or fewer.

Want evidence of that earlier black activism? After we traded our Karl Kani and Cross Colours for Tommy Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren, Hilfiger had the audacity to say that his clothing was not intended for black people. With that statement, his company lost hundreds of millions of dollars overnight as a result of that insensitive remark as well as any aspirational credibility or goodwill from black America.

Moreover, the 1995 March was on a weekday. What an eff-you to the mainstream establishment’s ideology of a normal work week!


Imagine what Conway High would’ve looked like had we all stayed home that day. For one, the FCSD would have been out on truancy calls throughout the day, and there is no telling what kind of field day CPD would have enjoyed hauling young brothers in.

Then you also have the parents (like mine) who were sending us to school and later work regardless of the national picture. National Day of Absence may have been a national event, but in the Armstrong household, you took your ass to school or work without complaint. I did both; Taco Bell also saw me that night. Even in my junior year of high school, the belt loomed over the results of bad decisions and back talk, so some things were just left well enough alone. I could exhibit my black pride in holding down the fort, as brothers were more prone to lose their primary sources of income for taking off THAT DAY.

Brother Louis gave us marching orders to storm the National Mall peacefully if we were able to get there.

Spike Lee’s biopic Get on the Bus portrays the gamut of brothers across the nation. If you can score it from Netflix, Redbox, or your local movie rental place, give it a revisit.

Have we improved? Yes and no.

Obviously, there is a special beauty in having the President of the United States look like you as well as other Cabinet leaders – Secretaries Colin Powell, Condoleezza and Susan Rice – as well as Attorney General Eric Holder. Moreover, it has also trickled down to the state level where Massachusetts and New York State have elected black governors and even Florida has had a black female lieutenant governor!

While those are symbolic changes, what has come of it for the average Jamal such as me?

A pair of minimum wage increases, the passage of the FMLA, a less tedious path to homeownership, a heightened awareness, and more social doors opened than what could have ever been expected.

Yet, we still have reasons to be angry. That cannot be denied.

There are a litany of issues facing black America beyond hostile cops and callous bosses:  blighted communities, spreading poverty, black-on-black crime, unemployment, recidivism, underemployment, a stagnant economy, food deserts, rising health costs, and so forth. Are the solutions easy to find? No. Collectively, we must find a way to pool our resources and solve our problems as opposed to relying on someone else to do the work for us. Brother Louis, Jesse, and Al are eventually stepping aside for younger leaders like Deray and the sisters who founded Black Lives Matter to take the mantle in our pursuit of the equal justice America speaks over and around us.

While I personally chronicle that February 2007 night in Avon as my “nigga, wake up!” call, the Million Man March back then stoked a pride in my blackness – or what people in high school called my lack thereof. I was just different, that’s all. Twenty years later, the sequel is a clarion call to get up, get out, and do something better:  keep pushing for better legislation and more inclusive ordinances (see Black Skin, Blue Water); encourage STEM education to our children; become better stewards of our environment; return the church’s role in true outreach beyond the four walls each Sunday morning; vote and/or boycott with our dollars; make both political parties EARN our votes instead of taking them for granted; and learn to leave legacies behind that stand the test of time.

No matter how educated I am, my middle-class status, work experiences, modest home, nice cars or money in the retirement account, to some members of society that is still not enough:  I’ll always be an outlier to them. Is that fair? I don’t think so; I honestly hope my daughter is left with a better world than the one I was inherited with. Therefore, I must make my impact with her first before stepping out and showing the rest of the world what it is to be strong, independent, gifted, and Black.

The anniversary of the Million Man March is more inclusive than the earlier one – the original did not entirely discourage women from participating - but it was geared more toward men to getting our collective houses in order.

If defiance of the established system is one of the greatest attributes of the original Million Man March, then surely we must not become too comfortable with the events in today’s world in light of our successes and advancements. That “eff the Man” spirit must always exist – even if we are the Man. Far too many of us have received post-dated checks from institutions that continue to ignore, castigate, or dismiss our requests; the time to sit down and take the scraps is long gone.

Battling apathy should now become the endgame for us even as some of us are going to be left behind – and I’m not just talking about black conservatives who shuck and jive for Massa, doing his evil bidding to get the big piece of chicken or shit-grin with watermelon. While we have come a long way, the war is not complete. The Million Man March at 20 should be a rededication toward family, community, and an acknowledgment of what can come from black unity.


Thursday, October 8, 2015

Paper Chasin' or Pamper Changin'?



I greatly appreciate my current position for obviously providing the health insurance that takes care of my family and a decent enough income to cover the mortgage with one paycheck yet I need a little more than that. It’s not always about the Benjamins; the things I crave more these days are the opportunities to advance my career (kinda hard to do when you’re in the control room all night long and no one sees or knows your true worth) and a normal work schedule so I can spend time with my daughter every evening. A few days ago, I stood on principle with my co-worker only to catch glares by the rest of the department since they both had to alter their routines to cover the night I declined to work. Had he called before a certain hour, I would have (grudgingly, I admit) covered his shift.

Sunday brought me to this thought: Am I supposed to keep paper chasin’ as I did before my little girl was born, or did Pamper changin’ reset my priorities? I think a balance is possible as she will get older and become more independent over time although I don’t want to miss out on her childhood.

Change is a-comin’. Get ready.

In a few days, my little angel turns eight months old. My biggest grievance thus far as a new father has been the inability to truly enjoy playing with Caeli and watching her grow every day, but a man has to provide for his household even if it means working the graveyard shift and alternating weekends as required by the job.

Heck, I already have a Dad bod. Y’all remind me of that every time I leave the house and Savers isn’t getting any cheaper just because my waist keeps expanding. Try finding a pair of Levi’s in the big men’s section and you’ll understand what I mean.

I shouldn’t have to choose between paper chasin’ and Pamper changin’ because both are my jobs. There are some things that are priceless – and for everything else, there is Google Wallet.

Closing Pandora's Box

America was built on religious freedom – even if the beliefs disagree with our own.

The Ten Commandments monument was removed from Oklahoma’s Capitol grounds Tuesday after judges deemed its placement a violation of religious freedom and naturally, social media is outraged. Somewhere, a large populace failed to pay attention in their high school civics and government classes and acknowledge that the United States of America does not have a state religion. Fact:  77 percent of this nation claims to be Christian in some way, shape, form, or fashion.

What the removal does for our more conservative neighbors to the west is free Oklahomans from more litigation that could surrender much-needed tax dollars from their communities as well as close Pandora’s box, which many are not fully comprehending of the fact. Otherwise, other groups not limited to Satanists and Muslims would have the freedom to post their monuments without backlash. Then again, equal protections seem too much like right in an increasingly intolerant nation.

 FYI, Christians: We are not losing the war on religion. It’s in your heads. Try living what thus saith the Lord before passing judgment on issues we do not fully understand. Besides, the way we conduct our daily lives beyond 11 am on Sunday morning is more indicative of what God wants of us and what the world actually sees in our soul-saving mission.

Was it serving as a historical monument? I think so, but to outsiders, it was a clear display of a certain religion. Isn’t that why the Pilgrims left England some four hundred years ago, to worship not in the auspices of the Church of England, but that of personal choice?

You know, you’ve gotta love the fake outrage from some people.

 Rather than falling all over ourselves because an outward religious symbol was moved a few blocks away to the Oklahoma Council of Public Affairs, why don’t we find a way to help our brothers and sisters who may have lost everything in South Carolina or give comfort to the hungry or sick and shut in within our own communities? Or is doing more than paying lip service to the ministry something beneath us?

America was built decades ago on religious freedom. Just because someone chooses to worship a bit differently than we do does not make us superior to them; keep in mind it was not that long ago when certain Christian men and women hid behind white sheets and hoods as they perpetuated sin.