Monday, June 1, 2020

This Is War


If there is no other period in our lifetimes to rise and be counted, now is the time.



I’m not talking about those who have cast their lots with shucking and jiving, invoking platitudes that do not improve the present situation, and assorted levels of cooning for a system that was never intended to help us in any way, shape, form, or fashion – you can stay where you are. I know what my eyes have seen, and my ears have heard, so do not try it.


Since war has been declared on us, how do we fight back – to win? Not everyone can serve on the frontlines; we must find our lanes and really accentuate our strengths for the victory. For example, if you cook, find a way to help feed our fighters as they will need all of the sustenance they can handle to return to the battle stations; since I write professionally, I will continue to document the experience wholly and honestly as we know 1) the victors get to tell the tales; and 2) white America has done such a masterful job of telling only their side even when it can be easily debunked that a lie is the cause of mass destruction, resulting in thousands of Black lives lost. Disagree? Look 200 miles west of here to Tulsa. Next year marks the 100th anniversary of the Tulsa Race Riots, and their city’s leaders keep trying to minimize their roles in the genocide. As recently as 2001, county officials were still trying to cover up the events of the fateful week as they indicted their own relatives and other prominent citizens of the era.




As teens, my brother and I were prepared for the onslaught of what the world would do to us growing up Black in Conway, Arkansas – don’t let the stock diversity images of smiling folks fool you, my hometown has a shitty relationship with our neighborhoods and in general, our skin. [Shout out to the real ones who grew up in Friendship, Salem, Gold Lake, Cowtown, Caney, Chateau, Conway proper, and the ‘hoods I may have missed who know EXACTLY what I’m talking about.]

How were we prepared?

Dad taught us to strategize our moves, and Mom prayed over us each morning.

Since Dad was already off to work by the time we woke up in the mornings for school, Mom gave us a Scripture to prepare us for war once we stepped off the porch of the little white house in the curve. That text is Ephesians 6:10-20, and as I revert to the 90s of being covered in the Blood of Jesus but not necessarily protected from bullies both in the ‘hood and on-campus, this is the King James Version below:

10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
11 Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but also against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13 Wherefore, take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having the breastplate of righteousness;
15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all of the fiery darts of the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Sprit, which is the word of God:
18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
19 And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,
20 For which I am an ambassador in bonds:  that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

Before anyone says, “Brother Deacon just said a mouthful”, let me explain line-by-line what you just read. Also, if your pastors and men of God are not making their presences known as spiritual leaders rather relying on the by-and-by Beatitudes or outright dismissing the events of the world as social justice warriors stepping out of their lanes, then you (and I) may need to find a place that is truly feeding us real meat versus the sugar high from falling out all over the aisles.

In verse 10, Paul implores the church of Ephesus to stay strong in the faith and to be prepared for whatever comes their way. How does this relate to Black America? More than you think. By maintaining our faith and hope in God despite enduring a systemically unequal society, change can occur albeit at a glacial pace. When we put on the whole armor of God, we acknowledge that that we are engaging in warfare which the terms are not known to us nor shall we expect a fair fight but rather guerilla warfare which there are no rules. Only once we know that the wiles of the devil (v.11) constitute an ideology of supremacy at all costs are we able to go to war.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but also against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. – Ephesians 6:12

Verse 12 above could very well be the most critical reason for entering battle. We must know not only who we are fighting but also why we are putting up our dukes. On the ground level, police brutality symbolizes flesh and blood; Black people have had to put up with the blue line since slavery [study the history of slavecatchers and how they later became law enforcement before you get too butthurt in the comments]. We also must contend with discriminatory laws and social contracts that negatively impact us and their residual effects for years to come. For example, in The Banker, Bernard Garrett (played by Anthony Mackie) returns to his Texas hometown to purchase the community bank and as soon as he does, the Black residents suddenly are able to receive loans without having to sacrifice their life savings to update properties, establish small business, and so forth. The case eventually finds its way to the Supreme Court where Arkansas Sen. John McClellan of Little Rock McClellan High School fame plays his racist hand to not only force Garrett to surrender his assets but also send him to prison as an example of what happens when Black people push for progress in the banking sector. I will not divulge the remaining details of the film, but it did lead to the Fair Housing Act of 1968 that outlawed racial discrimination in obtaining housing and loans for businesses.






Here in 2020, we still wrestle against the rulers of the darkness of this world. Our more conservative associates label them the Deep State or Antifa, and even have the audacity to call Black Lives Matter a terrorist group! More than Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Mitch McConnell, Vladimir Putin, Benjamin Netayahu, and world leaders with the mentality of me > we, dark money still exists [See the US Supreme Court, Citizens United, Soros, Koch, Walton, DeVos, etc.] in American politics – and nowadays, foreign leaders have entered the pay-to-play game to maintain white supremacy at all costs as the United States devolves into an oligarchy.
You cannot tell me Congress or even our state legislatures have our best interests in heart:  Check their voting records and histories of inflammatory statements. Not only would you be surprised (Arkansans are used to Hammer, Clark, Garner, Rapert, Ballinger, Hester, Irvin, etc. but it does not mean they can be excused for one good deed in a lifetime of hatred, of which they are notorious for perverting the Gospel to their own means. Also, note their deafening silence during this hour.)


Once the whole armor of God is on, stand proudly! Here is how you rise proudly, taken from verses 14 through 17:

14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having the breastplate of righteousness;
15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all of the fiery darts of the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Sprit, which is the word of God:

In the ancestors’ days, the practice of temperance – abstaining from alcohol and other intoxicants – was passed on for us to remain on guard at all times. Sometimes that literally included keeping our pants up! It is kind of difficult to run and hold up our sagging britches. Therefore, these tormentors do not care about our respectability as we wear our Sunday best to prevent an assault because they lack both morality and the value of our own humanity. As we revisit verse 15, it indicates that we control the direction of our feet:  Tie your Jordan Brand sneakers or footwear of choice for we do not know the direction we must traverse. Once we look deeper at the text, we also recognize the elements of Matthew 10:14 where we shake the dust off our feet if the message does not get across. Cursing someone out or slandering them to convey our point is simply being extra and contrary to how we should conduct ourselves in war. In verses 16 and 17, the interpretation is not toting a literal Bible everywhere despite the fact of most of us having downloaded the app to our smartphones as much as taking the time to protect what we consume and having the wisdom to know that not everything good to us is good for us.

And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake the dust off your feet. – Matthew 10:14

God ain’t put us on this earth to get murdered.


Again, not everyone has to be on the frontlines of war:  Some of us must strategize, and others have strengths that need to be utilized such as organizers, logistics wizards, policy professionals, and so forth. The saints still matter – and need to be protected for they are the ones who constantly pray for us and our wellbeing as we endure storms together and/or apart from their own battles in this journey we call life. Lastly, verses 19 and 20 are our official marching orders:  We are now properly armed; let it be known that this war is for the Lord and He will be credited with the victory. DO NOT BE ASHAMED OF WHAT YOU POSSESS. THE ENEMIES WILL USE YOUR WEAKNESSES TO THEIR ADVANTAGES.

If there is no other time to stand up and be counted, now is the time. Be safe our there.




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Tuesday, May 12, 2020

The Crime of Being




I refuse to watch that video of Brother Ahmaud being slaughtered in the middle of the day like a young suckling pig caged next to his final resting place – the offset smoker.


Racist White people (and bootlicking house Negroes not to mention prejudiced people of color who benefited from their own brand of privilege who have their own documented histories of anti-Blackness) revel in Black pain as if that is the only part of our humanity they want to see.

Not the graduations.

Not the marriages and births.

Not the day we become homeowners.

Not the relief that comes from overdue promotions and raises from our jobs.

Not the day we set sail from the corporate plantation to open our own small businesses.

Not the days when our babies are photographed standing next to the front door on their very first days of school.

Not the smiling faces on vacation with sand between the toes and pitchers of Miller Lite flowing on cruise ships and in casinos like milk and honey.

Not the jubilation when an individual makes his or her decision to join the Christian faith and secure eternal life. (More on that below)

Only death and distraught faces matter to them – and the dastardly agents of malice would ask if we forgive them for taking away a brother, a coworker, a friend, a relative, a neighbor, etc. Have they no shame?

The real reason why I refuse to watch Brother Ahmaud’s lynching is that the motherfuckers who did will more than likely get away with it because this is how the American justice system is set up. One can also agree that his very own being “in the wrong place” is what set him up for this fate, but let us play devil’s advocate:  In a free-ish nation for Black people since approximately 1973 or so, the laws established in this nation have not always been used to our advantage – rather, survival. Surely a man jogging through a neighborhood is not cause for extrajudicial attention, but sadly, it is – and I have my own experiences to share: 





While I understand that jogging in basketball shorts and an A-shirt is not a good look now, it was hot that morning! The officer did give me a ride back to our apartment in the front seat of his Crown Vic, and I ultimately changed my route for a westward one. I know it seems funny to a number of you that I used to be in decent shape considering the affable fat guy I am today, but maybe the older white people in a ‘prominent’ gated community saw a young Black man jogging and stopping in front of new construction to catch a breath and assumed I was up to no good. Kind of what Greg and Travis McMichael and their other buddy thought of Ahmaud.
I know how close I’ve been to becoming a hashtag. THIS IS WHY I TELL MY STORIES.

Ask the Avon PD.

Ask the Conway PD.

Y’all know the Haskell PD terrifies me.

If being Black is a crime, then dammit, I’m guilty as charged.

For 401 years, we sang songs. We complied. We went to school. We stayed on our side of the tracks. We dressed nicely. We drank from the tainted water fountains we were relegated to. We were often more highly educated and financially savvy than our limited occupations would leave one to believe. We hugged it out. We extended invitations to the proverbial cookout. We protested peacefully. We stayed home during COVID-19. We shared the culture. We even embodied LOVE AND FORGIVENESS. As a matter of fact, we played nice with our respectability conduct. Where has that gotten us in 2020?

Dead and bloated, to paraphrase the late Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott Weiland.


Speaking of being, I want everyone to note the not-so-coded descriptions of both victim and perpetrators alike. “Good Christian men” has become quite the misnomer – what if Ahmaud had also professed the faith years ago? Is he eligible for eternal paradise, or is that reserved only for a paler Southern hue with the trappings that a career in law enforcement (or in some cases, being adjacent to the good ol’ boy culture of white privilege)? These days, “good Christian men” is code for white supremacists not so much as to not break rank in protecting their own but also to reinforce their unspoken racial conduct of being above the laws written to control everyone else. As the slandering of Mr. Arbery by prosecutors, judges, the media, politicians waiting to capitalize their fifteen seconds of fame, Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp, President Donald Trump, and others revs up, be prepared for an onslaught of how our own neighbors, coworkers, friends, and even family members view these events from their narrow prisms and if necessary, remove them from our lives.

I can’t do this shit anymore. Fuck that, I WON'T do this shit.
If seeking peace by using a peacemaker is the way to get my message across, then so be it.

If taking our collective dollars out of the economy gets people to pay attention, then so be it.

If pointing out inconvenient truths in American history is enough to end friendships or get whiny-ass, bitch-ass snowflakes in my mentions talking about I hurt their feelings or I’m being racist, then FUCK YOU. I PUT THAT ON EVERYTHING.

I’m not going to wait and be a sucker nor will I risk my loved ones.

What I WILL DO is tell my five-year-old daughter this:

Live freely.

Dream big.

Jog like Ahmaud.

Chill like Botham and Atatiana.

Play your music to your heart’s content like Jordan.

Walk wherever your feet take you like Mike.

Give God all of His praises like the Charleston Nine.

Eat Skittles and drink Arizona tea like Trayvon.

Shop like John.

Read like Keith.

Breathe like Eric.

Exercise your Second Amendment rights like Philando.

Be the change this world sorely needs.

You are BLACK, BEAUTIFUL, AND PROUD.

Not only are you our Little Bear, but you are also God’s child.

No one has the audacity to take that away from you. 



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Monday, May 11, 2020

Why Are My Beloved Black People Hated Worldwide?

There is not one place in the world that I know of that openly love black people (correct me if I'm wrong)...

- Black men are seen as threats
- Black women are referred to as angry and hostile
- Black children are commonly referred to as thugs, but what did we do wrong? Be born black?
- Black women are tired of being made to feel that we are not good enough (with our natural hair, lips, nose, hips and skin color)
- Mothers of black boys worry if they will get killed senselessly 
- Mothers of black daughters have to worry if their daughters will be sex trafficked (as many are missing and no one bats an eye)
- Black people are told that racism is of the past, yet lynchings are still happening today
- Black people who do good in life, are commonly referred to as "they must be selling drugs (don't know how many times I've heard that)"
- Black people are told not to talk about racism,  because it makes other races feel uncomfortable (so we are just supposed to ignore it and hope it gets better)
- Black people are tired of hearing that you have to work twice as hard to be half as good

- Oooh, this is the best one...STOP telling us that "slavery is in the past and you were not a slave!" We still live with the affects of said slavery

Question: How can people be so ignorant and insensitive to these facts? Got it, as long as it doesn't hit your home...okay...

I am so over it as it is NOT getting better, but worse!
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Wednesday, May 6, 2020

I'se Tired: I Dont Want To End Up a Hashtag

Black people are so tired. 😓

We can’t go jogging (#AmaudArbery).

We can’t relax in the comfort of our own homes (#BothemSean and #AtatianaJefferson). 

We can't ask for help after being in a car crash (#JonathanFerrell and #RenishaMcBride). 

We can't have a cellphone (#StephonClark). 

We can't leave a party to get to safety (#JordanEdwards). 

We can't play loud music (#JordanDavis).

We can’t sell CD's (#AltonSterling).

We can’t sleep (#AiyanaJones)

We can’t walk from the corner store (#MikeBrown).

We can’t play cops and robbers (#TamirRice).

We can’t go to church (#Charleston9).

We can’t walk home with Skittles (#TrayvonMartin).

We can’t hold a hair brush while leaving our own bachelor party (#SeanBell).

We can’t party on New Years (#OscarGrant).

We can’t get a normal traffic ticket (#SandraBland).

We can’t lawfully carry a weapon (#PhilandoCastile).

We can't break down on a public road with car problems (#CoreyJones).

We can’t shop at Walmart (#JohnCrawford) .

We can’t have a disabled vehicle (#TerrenceCrutcher).

We can’t read a book in our own car (#KeithScott).

We can’t be a 10yr old walking with our grandfather (#CliffordGlover).

We can’t decorate for a party (#ClaudeReese).

We can’t ask a cop a question (#RandyEvans).

We can’t cash our check in peace (#YvonneSmallwood).

We can’t take out our wallet (#AmadouDiallo).

We can’t run (#WalterScott).

We can’t breathe (#EricGarner).

We can’t live (#FreddieGray).

We’re tired. 

Tired of making hashtags.

Tired of trying to convince you that our #BlackLivesMatter too. 

Tired of dying.

Tired.

Tired.

Tired.

So very tired.
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When They Criticize Black People For Rioting, They Forget This Happened on Their Watches

Anytime you hear someone criticizing black people for rioting, share this info with them.

FACT:
Prior to the 1960s, rioting (or race riots), consisted of whites burning down and destroying black communities simply because they didn't want them there. Mostly in major northern, western and Midwestern cities, where the population of black citizens grew tremendously due to the great migration. Blacks fled from Jim Crow south to seek refuge and to find jobs and homes. The competition was fierce, thousands and thousands of blacks flooded the cities resulting in "white flight". 
White people were angry that blacks were taking over jobs and building their own communities. Even white soldiers that have been stationed away from home were furious when they came back to this "change".
This is how race riots started. Whites were not too happy about desegregation in their cities. With subliminal attempts to keep their city segregated, blacks were not allowed in the "white" part of town. Black homes and communities were destroyed and burned down by angry white mobs and countless deaths occurred.
Here are ONLY just a few examples of race riots that took place in our country:

1919: Elaine Race Riot, Elaine, AR
1921: May 30- June 1. Tulsa, OK. Black Wall Street Massacre
1922. May 6, June 9 Kirven, Texas
1923: January 1. Rosewood, FL Rosewood Massacre
1930: October 12-15 Sainte Genevieve, MO
1931: March Scottsboro, AL 
1935: March 19 Harlem, NY Harlem Riot of 1935
1943: May Mobile, AL
1943: June Los Angeles, CA Zoot Suit Riot
1943: June 15-16 Beaumont, TX Beaumont Race Riot of 1943
1943: June 20 Detroit, MI Detroit Race Riot
1943:August 1 Harlem,NY Harlem Riot of 1943
1949: August-September Peekskill, NY
1951: July 11-12 Cicero County, IL Cicero Race Riot
1958: Maxton, NC Battle of Hayes Pond 
1959: February Pearl River County, MS
1960: April Biloxi Beach, MS
1962: October Oxford, MS Uni of Mississippi
1963: September 30. Oxford, MS Ole Miss Riot
1963: July 11 Cambridge, MD Cambridge riot of 1963 
1963: May 13 Birmingham, AL Bombings
1964: July Brooklyn, NY
1964: July 18 Harlem, NY Harlem Riot of 1964 
1964: July 24-26 Rochester, NY Rochester riot
1964: August Jersey City, NJ
1964: August Paterson, NJ
1964: August Elizabeth, NJ
1964: August Chicago, IL
1964: August 28 Philadelphia, PA Philadelphia 1964 race riot 
1965: March 7 Selma, AL Bloody Sunday
1965: July Springfield, MA
1965: August 11-17 Los Angeles, CA Watts Riot

... only to name a few....
(Image: Race Riot in Detroit, 1943)
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Saturday, April 4, 2020

Quarantine for Kids

I’m in the unique position of not only being an essential employee but also having not only my wife working at home in addition to (somehow) keeping Little Miss Sunshine at home versus her normal Monday through Friday life at her preschool. As adults, we tend to roll with the punches:  Caeli Elise, not so much. Her days have devolved from a regimented 7 am wake-up to get dressed, a quick breakfast, and a car ride to school where she does the normal things pre-kindergarteners do:  exercise, lesson, centers, playtime, lunch, nap, snack, playtime, and line up to either go home or to aftercare to a free flow kind of day. She knows something is going on and misses playing with her friends, but I think she has a basic understanding of why she hasn’t gone back to school. Instead, Mama and Daddy school [she’s 5; don’t ask me about an AMI plan] consists of migrating from one room to the next and developing new skills in addition to nurturing her love for all activities science- and math-related. Don’t judge me, Caeli can sit there with my phone or the TV watching Ryan’s World and some of the other educational shows on YouTube when both of us run out of stuff for her to do.



I also don’t want to pay tuition for a child who hasn’t gone to school since just before spring break. Maybe that planned summer break with Grandma becoming a reality before kindergarten begins as we are kind of privileged in having a local grandparent who wants to spend time with her only granddaughter.

Kids in Caeli's age range -- between 4 and 6 or 7 -- represent a unique parenting challenge during self-quarantine. They are old enough to understand something is wrong -- that their lives have been disrupted -- but not the level of seriousness, or how long the disruption might last. At the same time, many of them are not old enough to have intensive school assignments to routinize long portions of their days -- or to play immersive video games that knock hours off the schedule.


Instead, she wants to play ALL DAMN DAY LONG. Because this is what she is used to – the bouncing to and from one activity to the next – it also presents a unique challenge:  Cleaning up before we do the next thing. One day, Caeli decided that she wanted to play with Play-Doh during the morning across the kitchen table from my wife who is dutifully checking email and performing whatever tasks that get sent over through whatever software system her department is currently using. As soon as lunchtime comes around, she hops out of her chair and picks up a loaf of bread and a half-empty bottle of Johnny Fair cane syrup [Sidebar:  If you’re from the country, you know Johnny Fair is the best syrup and where to get it, bar none. Depending on how one may categorize Malvern, Arkansas, it does fit into the country narrative in the context of my writings]. Anyway, there is Play-Doh everywhere:  Of course, it’s on the table, underneath her chair on the floor, and even on the paper plate we planned on using for bread and syrup! I become a one-man tour de force, cleaning machine wiping down table space, the seat, and making sure Caeli wash her hands before she puts one slice of white bread to syrup. I’m just grateful she doesn’t want another package of chicken-flavored Ramen noodles.

I also have to give a huge thank-you to Governor Asa Hutchinson for the daily updates pertaining to the coronavirus for the general public to understand how serious this virus is to our most vulnerable members of our state – the older citizens and those with chronic conditions (not from smoking the chronic) such as cancer, asthma, and Type I diabetes. While I did not vote for him in either of his winning campaigns and would have remained in Connecticut had he defeated Mike Beebe in 2006, you have to salute a man who genuinely loves Arkansas in spite of the Trumpers that hate anything resembling progress coming out of the woodwork since 2008 and a Tea Party which has dissipated since January 20, 2017 – Black people know why but again, this is not the appropriate forum for my political opinions.

All kids need at least a half-hour outside to play; due to us not having enough information of the COVID-19, we’ve been reluctant to letting Caeli play with the other neighborhood kids…until Wednesday. Our only child was losing it having to stay cooped up inside all day long until she asked to play basketball. All I had to do is park Bubba Gump (the nickname for my 2nd generation Ram pickup) in the street, and we had a clear driveway to shoot baskets. After a few bounces, it seemed like every kid on our side of the subdivision magically came outside to play, each with varying boundaries of where and how far to go. Hint:  They went only as far as we parents could see them, or in Caeli’s case, two houses down in either direction. If a car turned out of the old cul-de-sac toward our set of houses, the kids have been taught not only to yell “Car!” but also to stand on one side of the street until the car passes by. For some, outdoor recess was a regular part of the day; for others, it became a treat.


Kids are generally unaware of personal space particularly those who are preschool age. Having to endure quarantine – or better, giving Little Miss Sunshine a hula hoop to wear around the house – presents a lesson for her to not only recognize others’ boundaries as she acknowledges her own little bubble is not for everyone to enter.

As we adapt to a whole new world that will shape our children’s outlooks and potentially his and her futures - one that is strange even by 2020 standards – a few takeaways will come from this pandemic:
1.      Many of the things we deem vital will either be streamlined or become irrelevant.
2.      People who treat the least of these unfairly will reap the consequences for decades. We see you, Hobby Lobby.
3.      More churches will have to accept a seismic shift in how worship services are conducted, particularly in the Black church. This means reaching the congregation where it was unthinkable just a month ago; the sick-and-shut-in members really need the availability of a full worship experience not limited to the sermon or using tithes and offering apps alone. Some traditions are going to have to be placed on the back burner until a vaccine is found, and perhaps a few can remain in the dustbins of the past.
4.      As the Trump Administration has consistently shown, there are three sides to a story:  Your side, my side, and the truth. Research (and thorough study) will be paramount moving forward in an age which the media is distrusted greatly as a result of our First Amendment rights being eroded before our very eyes. In other words, expect to question everything.
5.      For those who commute to work:  Do you really need to be there now that working from home has become a thing? It also blurs the lines between work and life; setting definite hours will be a must.
6.      Will our kids still want to become actors, professional athletes, entertainers, or will they have a change of heart for a life of service toward others, such as teachers, nurses, small business owners, etc. as unfettered capitalism and white supremacy conspire to destroy the world once and for all? We understand survival of the fittest, but why are some of the companies in the best financial conditions and not paying taxes begging for bailouts and stimuli to please their shareholders? The people who make stupid money doing little to nothing except living on inherited wealth and the backs of labor are not the heroes to emulate.
7.      Secondhand stores are really going to struggle for a while, but like any other period in recent American history, they will come back sharper than before.
8.      Family matters. Period.
9.      We are going to become some great cooks and carpenters when this is said and done.
10.  As tech-savvy as we have become, there may be a few good ol’ fashioned things we might have to relearn letter writing and good manners, chiefly among others. I won’t dare become above using cassettes to listen and record music – Generation Xer here – yet the babies will not understand the struggle of catching the radio at the perfect moment or later, lugging around those 100+ count CD cases, carefully curated and the visceral reaction when an album is either scratched or missing.

One may surmise this as a survival of the fittest or Darwinism at work; therefore, most of us will be fine. Do check on the community elders and your parents as we are now navigating their health and wellness in addition to our children’s upbringings and our own adult relationships. 



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Coronacation 2020

I haven’t drank Corona in a while.

Two weeks ago began some real adjustments, but mostly vacationing from one room to the next with a five-year-old and a spouse who suddenly began working from home. Unfortunately for me, this is the way I spent my PTO away from work; God has a way of changing plans and well-intentioned desires. Did we get to go to the Mid-America Museum in Hot Springs? Nope, Caeli and I ventured from the bedrooms to the living room. Museum of Discovery? Nah. The only discoveries that happened were from rearranging and cleaning the living room, and how consumerific Ryan’s World really is. Yeah, I said consumerific instead of materialistic – I’m a linguist, I can do that ish.

After what seemed like the overstocking of our cabinets and bonus rooms have ended, all we have are each other and fiddy-leven rolls of paper towels and toilet paper to last us well into next year. Yeah, we’re going to be wiping our butts that often. Diarrhea is an early symptom of coronavirus, perhaps that is the reason why there was such a run of Charmin. The biggest irony of people making epic runs on every stinking store under the sun and emptying out Sam’s Club is that the same day I do my normal grocery shopping for the house, no store within a few hundred miles except my local Five Below had hand sanitizer! I haven’t had a haircut in a while but being a good essential employee, I decided to follow my safety manager’s advice and shave my beard off. Not the best move: I look like Norbit without it. I won’t cut it completely off again with our upcoming annual refresher class, yet the hairline has gone wild. Not Black Republican wild, but wild enough for me to keep a hat on my dome until I can talk my barber into a house call.

 In an unrelated matter, people were snatching up toilet paper and hand sanitizer. Yet, why do the stores have so much soap on their aisles? Are they not washing their asses?


For much of the week I cooked for the house – and for those who missed out on the #stayincookout hosted by PK Grills as well as my own posts on both social media platforms, I had a pretty solid week. One takeaway from those four days (I did a sheet pan Wednesday) is that cooking inside the house is not my thing anymore nor is peeling and deveining shrimp. Beyond that, my trial run of BRATSTRAVAGANZA (brats-trav-a-ganza) probably was the best BBQ shot I’ve taken all year! I’ve also been working on sauces, and with a couple of small tweaks, Peachin’ Ain’t Easy could join the year-round rotation instead of being alternated with Dem Berries during the spring and fall seasons. 

Chicken leg quarters from #stayincookout

My new BBQ sauce:  Peachin' Ain't Easy


Seriously…coronavirus is something new that we would wise to follow the health professionals and do our own study regarding the virus. While it is recommended that we stay inside for the indefinite future, it is not a death sentence. I guess being blessed to be a part of Generation X and cursed as a blerd, remaining at home has been a remarkably easy thing to do in an age which the internet is truly for everyone (ditto for smartphones) as the technology has come down in price and become more accessible to everyone. Trust me, I remember paying a thousand dollars for a Gateway computer, $200 for C software, and the cussing I took for buying a TI-89 graphing calculator. As of today, there is no vaccine for COVID-19, also known as the China virus, that our extra-hateful U.S. Senator keeps calling the pandemic. You know the guy – the one who your teachers, pastors, police officers, bank officers, small business owners, middle managers, etc. all line up behind to vote for in November because he proselytizes their gospel of white supremacy. You can’t tell me otherwise.



While this time of being cooped up in the house has hopefully made us closer to our loved ones, at least we have the solace of being able to use Duo or FaceTime or whichever web-based communication method with our grandparents, in-laws, etc. using those smart rules of social distancing. Use the season of Coronacation to study the tomes of our higher powers, discern what is right vs. what is convenient which ultimately is wrong, and reset our bodies, minds, spirits, and ambitions to a center which is pleasing in thy sight. Acknowledge that the quest for securing the bag is not a replacement for a tender touch or a few minutes of playtime with our daughter.


Remember the Coronavirus Five:
1. Hands Wash your hands.
2. Elbow Cough into your elbows.
3. Face Don’t touch your face.
4. Feet Stay more than three feet apart.
5. Feel sick? Stay home.
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