Sunday, May 8, 2016

The Audacity of Double Portions

No, this is not my own adventures fort-building at Golden Corral or attempting to duplicate the Tower of Pisa at Larry’s Pizza.

As Elisha had spent time with Elijah, he witnessed the Lord working through the prophet by performing miracles and by speaking much-needed truth in an age of lies. 2 Kings 2:1 tells us of Elijah’s impending departure for Heaven and Elisha doesn’t want him to leave.

That dreaded day for the inevitable separation arrived, and Elisha knew he was going to need what Elijah had if he was going to successfully continue the ministry. So he made a daring request to God:  “Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit” (2 Kings 2:9). His bold request was made in reference to the double portion the firstborn son or heir received under the Mosaic Law (Deuteronomy 21:17). Elisha wanted to be recognized as the heir of Elijah – and guess what? God granted him that request!

I recently had a childhood friend who passed away from injuries incurred in an automobile accident – Terrance was a beast at finishing empty for Jesus. He gave his adult life away daily to all who wanted to experience the goodness of God first as a drummer/singer at my home church Greater Friendship and later, within ministry at Conway’s First Baptist Church. While he is not in the flesh with us, TD did not leave us alone for we still have God’s presence.

It helps understanding more of the concept of double portions as I listen to my brothers and new mentors in the deacons’ ministry Ollie Allen, Ricky Dawson, and John Reed invoke the saying within praise service and post-offering prayers. I’m not trying to be greedy – I just want to pick up all I can from these great brothers.

Elisha indeed gained a double portion of Elijah’s spirit – a tremendous privilege and blessing! We who live after the life, spirit, and resurrection of Jesus have the promised Holy Spirit. Remember, when Jesus ascended into Heaven after forty days, He sent His Spirit as a comforter and protectorate.


Those are double portions I can handle getting fat from. 

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Parental Leave In America Sucks. I'm Just Putting My Stank On It

The United States of America is the only developed nation that does not offer paid time to new parents, and to combat that, we parents have had to use any combination of FMLA or paid time off (PTO) from our jobs – if we have enough of the latter. As I learned firsthand last year, FMLA is only a placeholder for our jobs for the six to twelve weeks our employers allow; the income continues if you have enough PTO built up over time to use for that purpose.

But what if we didn’t have the safety net in place?

That didn’t matter in my case, as our daughter was born nearly four months premature. Those six weeks gifted by my wife’s employer certainly were not enough time off to bond with the baby nor was it enough time to let her body heal from emergency labor – and I won’t go into the tepid responses from my job. [Sidebar:  Caeli’s birth is the only time I have called in the four years employed by the company I have missed work. It’s not an indictment of the company, but more of a common refrain many employers share regarding profitability:  more people have to shoulder the load if one individual is away for an extended period of time]. In other words, the same people who are likely pro-life at all costs are the same greedy ones who push for new parents to return quickly to work as if a childbirth were a minor procedure and are more than mildly annoyed with us having to schedule doctor’s appointments, visits with specialists and therapists, and what if childcare falls through that particular day?.

Returning back to work after the addition of a baby mere days after birth should not be a badge of honor.

What was my reward for having a newborn daughter?

I got the weekend off when Caeli was born.

That’s it.

It’s funny I say that because that was the same weekend I had submitted my PTO request a few months prior since I was finally going to put up the storage building my wife keeps griping about and watch the NBA All-Star Game in peace. Fifteen months later, I could not tell you anything about that game, and the building materials are still leaning on the carport walls as a result. I ended up taking leave at various points:  the first week of August (our wedding anniversary week), and eleven days in late November that encompassed Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and my early December birthday. I still feel like it wasn’t enough especially in the beginning – Chastity was recovering from the emergency C-section and dealing with postpartum depression without medication, yet the twelve hour nights at my job and writing the Dad Chronicles were how I managed to cope for those first five months. My coworkers, all of whom have children, encouraged me to keep pushing and some nights were a reliable source of humor!

Just because I wasn’t recovering does not mean my wife didn’t need me.

I was stressed out, Chastity damn near lost it more than once, and we both have been perpetually tired. Many days it felt like we were substitute parents visiting the NICU for 143 of the 146 days Caeli was at UAMS and Arkansas Children’s Hospital fighting for her life:  one or both of us would spend hours with baby bear reading, holding, praying, giving a bath, or talking to her establishing a rapport. For the times we were at home particularly the three days we missed around her, AngelEye [the video cameras set up over each NICU baby’s incubator, and later, crib] allowed us to see what she was doing and which nurses were working with her. When we finally came home whole July 20, we had to figure out how to manage taking care of Caeli – I had only changed a handful of diapers prior to her, and certainly not a girl! Feeding her mounted a larger challenge due to the need to thicken each bottle of milk to honey consistency. There were nights when she would cry for hours at a time or wake up babbling just as she had done at ACH during Emily’s rounds or looking over at Freeman when he glanced toward her.

Coming back to work wasn’t really that big of a burden for me since I had worked all the way through. Bills had to be paid somehow and on-time, meaning I didn’t have the option of using all of my PTO in one felled swoop. In a strange way, it was a blessing to find a sense of normalcy within the office because I didn’t have to answer emails about how she was doing every single day. In addition, I also got to know my wife better when the three of us were at home; hopefully, she rediscovered I was more than just the “nigga payin’ bills ‘round here” and am deeply invested in her. The value in bonding with my wife – and daughter – is greater than this workaholic ever anticipated. At one point I even considered becoming a stay-at-home dad solely to be around the house!

As envious as I get hearing about paternity leave in Scandinavia and throughout Europe lasting for up to two years, I could only imagine being away from the control room a fraction of the time. Give me a guaranteed twelve weeks away from work WITH PAY and the ability to keep my sick leave separate, and I’m good. The current six weeks combined before and after birth are a double edged prescription for serious depression and not enough time to set our logistics plan of action in motion.


Thank our leaders in Congress and the Clinton White House for passing the legislation that did give us FMLA; we are fortunate enough to have employers who offer the benefit without seeing us fall into poverty resulting from the lack of a paycheck for several weeks. 

The Curious Case of Lot and the Five Cities

Everyone knows the story of Lot and along with his wife and two daughters of how he escaped certain death in Sodom and Gomorrah. What not everyone knows is how he ended up in Sodom:  due to the nomadic culture of the era, Lot and his family encamped in the Jordan River valley due north of the modern-day Dead Sea and immediately claimed the land eastward toward the nearest town. He and Abram had ventured out of Egypt toward the land of Canaan and once they arrived in the Jordan Plain, Abram gave Lot a choice to keep following him or to take the plains to the east for his own settlement.

Guess where Lot went?

He chose the land eastward toward the nearest town – Sodom – and eventually settled into the area. Perhaps he became too comfortable with the hedonistic lifestyle of the city as the men lived in an “anything goes” manner since his own wife began to indulge in the culture. During this time, Sodom was known for its cruelty and inhospitable ways to the stranger. In addition to the sexual sins that dominate our knowledge of the region, they also committed economic crimes, blasphemy, and bloodshed. One of the worst things was to give money or even gold ingots to beggars with their names inscribed onto them and subsequently refusing to sell them food! As a result, beggars died all over the region, and the lenders simply would reclaim the money as their own. A modern-day example of this would be the illicit practice of selling and buying food stamps when the cardholder “sells” the card for some quick cash and shortly reports the card as stolen denying the “buyer” the opportunity at tax-free food. The “seller” gets a new card and is able to repeat the scam.

Gomorrah was not exempt, nor was Admah, Zeboyim, and Bela in their conscious disregard of God. Yet Bela is the only city in the valley that remained standing after their fiery destruction, perhaps to serve as witness for what happens when God has had enough.

For some evil cities, none of the five kingdoms were sovereign as they were occupied by the Elamites for the past twelve years with the outside perception of being free rather than economic bondage – and later, literal slavery after a failed rebellion. The tide turned after Abram gathered an elite force that slaughtered King Chedorlaomer’s forces in Hobah , north of Damascus leading to the freeing of the cities from Elam’s rule. People will not like the comparison, but choose any sub-Saharan African nation that suffered decades under western European rule until internal forces uprooted the Belgians, French, British, etc. for each nation’s own sovereign rule.

You would think Lot would’ve gotten out of town the first chance he was given, but he oddly stayed. He should’ve thanked God that his uncle Abram was praying for him that he wouldn’t fall prey to the hedonism in the cities!

In Genesis 18 three angels disguised as men approached Abraham in the pains of Mamre. After they received the hospitality of Abraham and his wife Sarah, the Lord revealed to Abraham that the cities would be destroyed because of their sin. In response, Abraham inquired of the Lord if he would spare the cities if fifty righteous people were found for the sake of the righteous citizens. That number was lowered to 45, then 40, then 30, then 20, and finally ten with the Lord agreeing each time. Two of the angels were sent to Sodom to investigate the city and were met by Lot, who convinced them to stay and eat with him. What happened next confirmed that the cities needed to be destroyed, as described in Genesis 19:4-5:

4 But before they lay down, the men of the city, [even] the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:
5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where [are] the men which came in to thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that we may know them.

Lot refused to give his guests to the booty warriors of Sodom; instead, he offered his two virgin daughters “which have not known man” and to “do ye to them as [is] good in your eyes”. (Genesis 19:8) However, they refused this offer, complained about Lot giving orders, and nearly kicked down the door. The angels rescued him and blinded the men; following that, Lot was informed of their mission to destroy the city.

All of this because there were not even ten upright citizens in Sodom!

Lot reckoned that escaping was the only to survive, so he gathered his family to leave. One of the angels commanded to them not to look back only to keep running. Unfortunately, Lot’s wife was curious at the wrong moment when she turned back at the city and instantly became a pillar of salt. Today, this region remains a burning waste of sulfur and salt as it is one of the most uninhabitable spaces on the Earth.

So what made Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah, and Zeboyim so awful that God destroyed them with brimstone and fire?

The Protestant Church, particularly the evangelical wings, tends to place all of the blame on rampant homosexuality. Yet in Lot’s day, any nonvaginal sex was an abomination – no anal or bestiality obviously, but also oral sex was also out the question. The men turned to each other as the women engaged in fornication with the angels resulting in giants for sons and daughters (see Genesis 6) likely because they couldn’t compete sexually. Taken further, homosexuality [forced rape in this instance, akin to prison rape] was the prevalent physical sin of Sodom – even above its detested reputation for greed, arrogance, and selfishness. As a result, the violence and the threat of violence could be seen as the ethical downfall of the Five Cities and their subsequent destruction.

To further underscore the cruelty toward hospitality, the Sodomites – and likely the majority of the other cities – were firm believers of “what is mine is mine, and what is yours is mine, too”, which capitalized the lack of compassion. One incident describes Eliezer, Abraham’s servant, visiting Lot in Sodom and getting into a dispute with a Sodomite who hit him in the forehead with a stone and demanded Eliezer pay him for bloodletting. A Sodomite judge sided the offender, and Eliezer then struck the judge in the forehead with a stone and asked the judge to pay the other Sodomite. Imagine a loved one fatally shot by law enforcement and being asked to pay for the ambulance ride and assorted 911 services, as was the case of the late Tamir Rice of Cleveland.

Another case involved Lot’s own daughter Paltith and another young girl:  she gave some bread to a poor man who had entered the city. The townspeople were so cruel that they burned Paltith and smeared the other girl’s body with honey, hanging her on the city wall until she was eaten by bees! While we are not that grotesque today, consider this:  although we do look out for our own family’s protection as providers, we sometimes place ourselves on a higher plane and become judgmental of those less fortunate. Money and power are not everything, and a large number of people have gone to hell chasing either one or both entities here in America.

Why would Lot offer his two virgin daughters to a bunch of horny men?

Possibly because even in a patriarchal society, the male Sodomites were so deep into their own lust for strange men that even two beautiful young women could not turn away their intentions of raping the angels. This proved that the men were more interested in their own hedonistic pleasures than even potentially reproducing with the opposite sex! Certainly he valued women:  Lot did take his wife and the two daughters with him outside of the city as God rained fire and brimstone on it to safety despite his wife meeting her demise as she turned back to see the cities burn.


The Day of Zero

There comes a day in all of our lives when we feel like we’ve reached the apex a while back and it all goes downhill from there or perhaps because we are fed up with current circumstances, many of which we do have some control over.  For people like me, the number zero represents an emptiness, a la nothingness while for others it symbolizes a finite, very black-and-white conclusion [hence:  zero-sum, as we use it in political debates or the rules of war]. However, the number zero can be an emotionally – and professionally – dangerous one; once upon a time, we were viewed as heroes. Now that we are zeroes, our emotions can bring us from complete nonchalance to becoming broken men and women with a violent bent. Trust me, I am no psychologist; I just happen to be a man well-versed in the number zero.

As I write this blog, keep in mind that I give absolutely zero fucks about what most people think of my words. Since I do need to provide for a household of three, I have to compartmentalize said feelings and truck along looking like a good team player. Even I have to admit that AD&AD will unlikely ever become a full-time day gig with real paying benefits, yet as I creep to Year 40, I am cognizant of where the journey has taken me in addition to the effects of good or bad decisions in the past.

What does the day of zero look like?

Beyond the proverbial zero fucks given, the day of zero (for me – others may have varying sentiments) is the price of being underappreciated, overworked and underpaid, isolated, closing opportunities, and generally fed up with current circumstances. This raises the priority color code from white to red, and perhaps even black depending on the urgency of the matter.

Have I experienced the day of zero? Of course!  How well do you know me?
I have to guess that my last serious day of zero began nearly three months ago in a rather odd fashion:  I achieved the near-impossible at my job and its reward seemed more Eff You than something worth being congratulated for. Because a few associates read this and my tweets, I’d best keep my mouth shut for the price of an unexpected termination is not one I can handle at this time. Am I that lousy of an interview?

I officially give zero fucks about this job AND the next thing I hand management will likely be my two weeks’ notice.

As a younger man, the concept of zero was only limited to the numeral in binary terms [the numbers 0 and 1mattered more to me back then] and what the dating pool looked like in a small southern college town on Friday and Saturday nights for nerdy guys without cars. Back then, I was also able to play a ton of basketball to mitigate the social sting of zero at the on-campus gym or simply lace up the Air Max running shoes to hit the nature trail in town for a spirited jog.

Over time, the concept of zero expanded to being heartbroken (see slutty ex-fiancĂ©, underemployed (string of crappy jobs), and with an empty bank account from said crappy jobs and bad twentysomething decisions made on paydays and the ensuing weekends. Today I still have to deal with two of the three [I’m very happily married these days with an angelic daughter, so the heartbroken part was one I had to learn how to work through. Thankfully my wise wife loves me enough to put up with my idiosyncrasies and not show me the exit door on the left] but I’m not as broke as I used to be but I’m still poor. The mortgage, car payments, monthly utilities, and other adult stuff tend to get in the way of riotous living even as grown-up Christmas [tax refund day] comes and goes. I guess we’ll ball out next year.

The day of zero hasn’t been all for naught, though.

I live in a manner that your opinions of me do not matter anymore and I have the late father of one of my greatest childhood friends to thank for that. Even as my own dad acknowledged how much of a latecomer I was at twenty-four, it was only the concept of zero coming full circle – it was hard to live and figure out life when it seemed like the whole world had a pull on my ear and wallet, particularly as payday neared.

Although I was the first of my college friends with a grown-up job that required looking more Ralph Lauren than disheveled party animal, I was wise enough to know that the day of zero would eventually come:  mine came in the form of a pink slip and an empty box to clear out my cubicle by 10:30 am on a Monday morning. Legend has it that I was unemployed for six months thanks to the aggressive way I saved money before even considering another role and even then, it was my decision where to work. Still, that was not without feeling the effect of the zero-sum game:  Most of those fake friends who loved me around my paydays scattered quicker than cockroaches onto a Twinkie the instant they found out I had been let go from the plant.

Furthermore, the day of zero would be incomplete without discussing the zero-sum. This idea is the very ideology that everything is in black-and-white that also defines winners and losers not based solely on decisions, good or bad luck but also where a person is born and what statuses his or her family possesses in a community. In our political system, winners and losers are defined by how much money people have acquired; being born in the “lucky” sperm and egg club with good health, a sound mind, a privileged background that allowed private education versus those long bus rides into town for the public schools and no difficulties to mention; and the luxury of being able to make informed decisions in a world where survival is paramount. This brand of living leads to a homogenous mentality that fears anything different quickly denigrating it as “other,” as evidenced in the Black Lives Matter and LGBT movements, among others.

Zero-sum only works in wartime and other kill-or-be-killed circumstances. In America, zero-sum in the inner cities leads to dirt cheap property which in turn becomes gentrification. Watch this scene from Boyz N Da Hood if you disagree.

For those of you who are quick to point out the black-on-black crime in Chicago, New Orleans or D.C., I challenge you to visit the South Side, Ninth Ward or Anacostia and see where small-town judgmentalism takes you with your zero-sum mentality. Those ‘hoods at one point were more battle-tested than anything in Iraq or what the media shows in Israel. Years of bad governmental policies by both parties coupled with an outright prejudice of the lesser affluent or racial minorities have led to these sordid environments of today. I also hate to break it to you, but the hour of reckoning is coming.

The day of zero is coming to grips with the things that may have defeated us in the past or at the very least, been bothersome to the point of becoming a burden and giving it a huge Eff You because it no longer matters.


Wednesday, May 4, 2016

The Fragrance of Christ

What are some of the smells that bring you back to a certain memory most sharply? For me, it could be a greasy jumbo cheeseburger from the Dairy in Waldo; the faint fragrance of salt water the first time I got to see the Atlantic Ocean – and even on Columbus Day weekend, I did play in the water briefly; overpowering my lithe body with either Nautica or Joop cologne in high school to attract the fairer sex as any other clueless boy would; fried catfish; sweat from a serious run of intramural or recreational basketball in college; and my current favorite, the new car scent.

Paul reminded the Corinthians that we are the aroma of Christ:  For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ” (Romans 2:15). He may have been referring to the Roman victory parades. The Romans made sure that everyone knew that they had been victorious in battle – and for the captors, their fates were either an expected slavery or death. As believers, we are the victorious soldiers and when the gospel of Christ is preached, it is a truly pleasing fragrance to God.

As the aroma of Christ, what perfumes do Christians bring with them as they walk into a room? Hint:  It’s not something that can be bottled up or purchased from the jewelry counter in a department store. When we spend a lot of time with someone, we began to pick up his or her actions. Spending time with Jesus will help us spread a pleasing fragrance to those around us.

When we walk with God, people will notice.

Does God Have a Beginning?

Q:  Does God Have a Beginning?

A: No, He has always existed; having a beginning means that God had to come from somewhere to be created, but we know He has always been here and will be throughout eternity.

We can simply reference Genesis 1:1 where we’ve read “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth” for as long as we could remember, and in my childhood, we were made to stand in front of the congregation every Sunday to recite from memory one (or more) Bible verses during children’s hour as proof that God has always existed. Venturing to Verse 2, the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. God was beginning the early stages of the Creation proving that He was always here – even when nothing else existed.

Want another example of God’s existence? Read Psalm 90:1-2 to see (and imagine the booming voice of Moses) in this prayer: 

1.      Lord, You have been our dwelling place in all generations.
2.      Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever You had formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God.

This is the introduction to a prayer that David likely recited daily as it was passed down from Moses and the multiple generations that separated the two men. Similar to the verbiage our deacons invoke during the praise service prayers as well as during our auxiliary functions (Bible study, choir practice, etc.), David gives thanks to the omnipresent God for being with him and all of the previous generations in his prayer in appreciation of His supremacy. “From everlasting to everlasting” implies that God was here even before Day One.

Moreover, Jesus acknowledges that God is the Father during a particularly poignant diatribe in John 17 immediately following the Last Supper. As He lifted His eyes to heaven, Jesus prays that the twelve disciples who have received His teachings for the past three years throughout Israel are able to stand firm and continue the pedagogy, and asks for a comforter whom we know today as the Holy Ghost to “sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.” (John 17:17)

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out! – Romans 11:33

Remember reading the Book of Revelation last year? Take a look at Revelation 4 to further illustrate the dream of heaven that John shares with us. After finding himself in the Spirit, John notices twenty-four thrones for twenty-four elders all clothed in white robes wearing golden crowns in addition to the proceeded lightnings, thunderings, voices, seven lamps of fire (symbolized by the seven Spirits of God), and four living creatures with eyes in the front and back of their heads. Still amazed, John writes about the twenty-four elders bowing down before God worshipping Him and casting their crowns before the throne, saying: 

“You are worthy, O Lord, to received glory and honor and power; For You created all things, And by Your will they exist and were created.” – Revelation 4:10, 11

The final proof of God’s existence before the beginning traces to Colossians 1:15-16. In a letter from Paul to the church in Colosse, Paul reiterates to this congregation that the Spirit “is the image of the invisible God, the first-born over all creation. For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.” Furthermore in verse 17, He is before all things, and in Him all things consist.

What does that mean?


God was here before what we call the beginning, and will remain even after the time we consider the ending. 

A Dark Child

Preface: This poem was originally found on my friend/coworker Robert's blog Purnt Of View. It was so good, I had to copy it BUT credit it given to where it is due. If you're interested in his works, check out purntofview.blogspot.com as writers tend to stick together. - A.CedA.

A winter’s night in a wintery life
And the world passes by
With less than even a sigh
He cries but the silence presides
Over the empty replies
When life and death collide, and they
Wonder why?
No one dares deny that blatant
Imminence decries that
He was expertly and covertly demoralized
By the danger that shadows his eyes or
The depth if his soon-to-be demise
Yet they still wonder why?
He commonly relies on being heavily
Subsidized and culturally compromised
By the rich and the wise but
They never realize
That it’s a ruse beneath a disguise, that
Covers the lies so they all just compromise
With the truth that hides in plain sight
And they wonder why?
Whoever dares verbalize the existence of the
Injustice only to sterilize and pasteurize so
That
The powers that be continue to dehumanize
And even have the gall to plagiarize but
Never will they apologize for
The lost lives they claim as the prize
While they stand glorified in the
Name of a civilized…society
And by the way the empathetic of course
They empathize and then he or she buys
A coke
And wonders why?
Finally the ear-piercing screams
That shatter the dreams and
Accompany the schemes that make up
The memes that come in streams
And awaken the demons and the
Little Dark Child reasons that he
Will have no season to…live his life
And all they do is wonder why?

#BlackLivesMatter