She Crawls

Oh man, I have less than one day to baby-proof the house.

In case you cannot read in between the letters of the previous sentence, Caeli has begun to crawl. Her scooting – since June – has been cute and more recently, in a circle. Thanks to our friends at Kidsource Katie and Ronda, Little Miss Sunshine is becoming more mobile by the day. We’ve heard all along that babies do things when they are ready, but as we near her eleventh month birthday, we began to worry about her physical development. It’s wonderful that she sits up and can roll from tummy to back and vice versa to retrieve toys, yet the day has come for Caeli to put it all together.

Keep in mind she was born nearly four months premature; every day is an exciting day even if we’re at home chillin’ out and playing on the laminate floor as I watch her try to eat Daddy’s cell phone.

Most babies master crawling between seven and ten months of age, but they work on their own time. Some start earlier than seven months, and others begin later – if they do not skip crawling altogether and start pulling themselves up by using furniture. Not all babies crawl the same way; in our case, Little Miss Sunshine does a hybrid army crawl along with the natural crawl depending on her surface space. It gets her wherever she wants to go, and for the rest of the time, we are right there with her. Crawling does take a bit of practice, and if Caeli isn’t in beast mode next month for her first birthday, it’s okay; she’s on the way.

To get to this point, Caeli had to first master sitting up without help. This required muscle strength to stay upright, and moved into a sitting position where she has discovered that she can stay in position in all fours, rock to and fro, and spin around in a circle. Once she was able to push off from her knees, the baby found that she could move! Seven weeks ago, she couldn’t sit up; after some practice (and pillows), she has it down!

Babies need to build up muscle strength before they are able to start crawling. This can be done in a number of effective ways:

1)      Tummy time. I can tell you for a fact that Caeli disliked tummy time – leave her on the mat for more than ten minutes and see what happens. Nevertheless, it was still extremely important that she did get that time on her stomach (or Daddy’s beer gut to feel safe) to work on her own muscles. Every time she looks up at me or her mother, she is doing a mini workout. MMA comes a little later.

2)      Wrap it up. Carrying a baby defeats the purpose of her own independent strength, right? Not entirely – as Caeli shuffles around in wraps, slings, and shoulders, she is getting stronger all the time. As she looks up to observe the rest of the big world, she is improving her neck strength.

3)      Make it fun. We usually keep three to five toys on her mat to mix things up, one of which is her favorite toy Cody the Smart Pup. If you’ve never seen Cody, he’s the blue puppy in the toy aisle of Wal-Mart, Babies R Us, etc. that uses his maracas to teach counting and language skills reinforcing what we are already giving her. As Cody instructs the baby to give him a little push, Caeli slaps him and he comes right back for more. While crawling is the prime objective, make sure the baby is having fun.

4)      Moving toys. A couple of toys that move may encourage the baby to start crawling. You may use trains, cars, or balls that travel outside of her reach as she plays with them.

5)      Time limits. Try to limit the amount of time your baby spends in a car seat, pram, or bouncer. Babies need time to move and explore in order to master new skills, so give them the freedom to do this.

6)      Don’t stress yourself out. Don’t compare your baby to what the other infants her age are doing, push her to move when she isn’t ready or get hung up on her next moves. Have fun and support her as she learns a new skill.

Now that Caeli is crawling, now what?

Beyond the congratulatory pat on the back, I need to be certain that the house is baby-proofed. One way to do this is to actually crawl around the pad. What do I see that would be dangerous to Caeli?

Dangling wires, extension cords, sharp corners, and cupboard doors are all things to look out for. Fortunately, I do not have to worry about a stairgate as our home is single-level. By safeguarding our home, I can allow her to explore with supervision, of course. We also have to really work on keeping the floors clean now that she is living her own adventure. Remember, babies explore the world by putting everything in their mouths, and this includes, food crumbs, loose change, buttons from shirts and jackets, and the leaves or other pebbles that get tracked into the kitchen during the days I am working the smoker or after the grass gets mowed.

If you experience any delays with your baby by her first birthday, contact your healthcare provider!

Hold What 'Cha Got

My dad recently retired from his construction job after 42 years in the commercial sector as a carpenter/foreman/mentor and during those decades of hard work, he heard (and repeated) numerous colorful sayings many of which you have heard me utter at one point. One of my favorite sayings is “hold what ‘cha got” meaning “don’t let go!” He would use it for any number of things not limited to bleeding the brakes on cars; moving furniture; and aligning doors to close properly.

In the Book of Revelation we find the letters to the seven churches in the province of Asia (Ch. 2-3). These messages from God are filled with encouragement, rebuke, and challenge, and they speak to us today in the same vein as they did to the first-century recipients particularly those in Thyatira (2:25) and Philadelphia (3:31). Likewise, we must hold what ‘cha got even in the moments, hours, days, weeks, months, and potentially years that God’s promises seem so far away that letting go becomes the most viable option.

Don’t give up. Persevere by holding onto your faith.

When life kicks your butt and the pain outweighs the joy, Jesus shouts to us “Hold what ‘cha got! Help is on the way!” With that promise, we cannot help but to hold what we have and rejoice. 

New Year's Resolutions Are Lame. Maybe It's Because I Don't Make Them Anymore.

Let’s face it:  New Year’s resolutions are a load of poppycock.

I know you’re thinking the same thing, but you continue to make them year in and year out with limited (if any) success. Before you waste your snide comments on keystrokes that won’t matter in six minutes, here’s why I am saying that – and the same clichés aren’t worth the energy exerted in breathing them out. 

For example:

I want to exercise and lose weight. Exercise is fine and dandy and weight loss is a byproduct of a healthier lifestyle, but what are you going to do differently to quantify your results/quest to a healthier you? I’d love to get back down to 180 lbs., but it I am only sitting around drinking beer and destroying fast food at every turn and not walking, then what am I doing? The first step is the hardest step, and all of the others will come easier.

I want to be debt-free. Except for a sixty-day period in 2013, that hasn’t happened to me since the ‘90s – before I had responsibilities. It’s easier to attack smaller balances and working your way up to the larger ones until the debts are satisfied. However, it does not mean pay off everything only to charge it back up for anniversaries, vacations, Christmas, etc. Besides, how much do you value your own time and independence?

The above is why I started a ‘f**k it fund’ – it is the amount of money I can live on without having to feel trapped by any employer. For those of us under 62, it’s those retirement dollars that my man Brooks and numerous financial professionals tell us to prepare for every day. My ‘f**k it fund’ truthfully is small:  only six months’ mortgage and car payments assuming I am wise enough not to use either credit card and stick to the day-to-day necessities such as lights, gas, internet, groceries, etc.

I want someone to validate me. What, God doesn’t matter? He loves you, but I’m sure you’re talking about a physical man/woman next to you whispering sweet nothings. Looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right as a resolution can lead to some really sketchy stuff down the road…or to greatness. Then again, I’m very happily married and the father of an exceptional baby daughter, so what do I know?

I want a better job in 2016. I’ve said this since I started working way back in 1995, and I will still keep saying this as long as I am in the workforce. Make a table of things you want to do at your next job; the things that are absolute deal breakers; and what are you doing to get said exposure to the next opportunity. For me, two certain deal breakers will be working on Sundays and no opportunity to grow, perceived or authentic. As much as I would like a Monday through Friday work week, I have to make a certain amount of money to not only maintain the current lifestyle but also the possibilities in what the next job may offer must align with my moral code as well as the necessary advancement to stave off boredom. Moreover, find out the qualifiers in your dream job and determine where they stack relative to what you already know. If there are noticeable gaps, then find a way to fill them. Also, the perfect person (on paper) is not always the best person for the job. I should know.

Every step requires a first step. Make yours count.

Ode To Head

“Ode to Head”                                                                                                          

The top of my head exudes joy.

Sometimes this is all the photographer sees.

A few teeth, an open eye, perhaps even a gummed-up smile –

With long scraggly hairs dangling down.

I rub my face with a lukewarm towel

Clean, gray, safe from a particular odor.

Of course I’ll need an aid, maybe even a trim.

The stars do it. I should follow suit.

You open a never ending passageway in awe,

Then crack a toothy smile.

The ceaseless pleasures of my head swirl

As wind on a blustery April morning.

Huff, puff, take all of it in if that is your wish

That bald spot needs to be caressed, as like a porcelain dish.

After grasping it, the head ejaculates a milky fluid

From its long shaft into your cusp.

You thought this was about performing oral sex?

Get off your knees and clean yourself up.

I put lotion on my sore bald head.

Human Suffering

            Imagine having over a billion dollars, thousands of people at his beckoning call, a perfect spouse and family, hundreds of HIV-negative mistresses, more cars than a major dealership, and what ideally seems to be everything going in his favor – you even get along with your in-laws! The only thing catch is that you cannot take any of this with you after death. On the contrary, if nothing went your away and you spent your entire life moaning and groaning about every situation as a result of misdeeds and a total lack of remorse, then nothing good would seem to come out of life. The most common misconception is that destiny is the source of human suffering:  in other words, how we live and treat others determines how we die. Death has no escape no matter the individual’s piety, particularly if the individual is considered good or heroic.

            Human suffering is not caused by any one condition; it is the result of several ailments in conjunction with lifestyle, location, or sometimes being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Its source cannot be defined as one such instance, such as coronary heart disease. The Bible attributes suffering to Adam and Eve as a result of their sin in Eden, which Adam was forced to till the earth for food.  Not getting off scotch-free, Eve is forced to become not only submissive to Adam, but also she has to carry the load by bearing children (Genesis 3:13-19).

My Grandparents' Oral Interview

Note:  Years ago, I did a phone interview with my paternal grandparents Claude and Beaulah Armstrong. In their memories, I found this file and decided to share with the world what their lives were like and the memories that we will always honor and cherish. - The Family 

Like most people, our senior citizens love to talk about how life once was and the changes that have occurred during their lifetimes.  They all have experiences that perhaps will be never be shared again; in their younger years, there was no email, no compact disc players, nor any of the "necessities" of our time.  As a matter of fact, Webster defined a computer as " a person who performed calculations"! Some people made it through high school and college, while others headed to the cotton fields to work after school because having an education was a luxury. Both of my grandparents, Claude and Beaulah Armstrong, lived through that era and amazingly, both say we as today's generation should be grateful for what we have.

Claude Armstrong was born October 13, 1916 - during the climax of World War I - to a poor tenant farming family in rural Faulkner County. He is the youngest of seven and is the only one still living. At an early age he realized the value of hard work, which he has successfully instilled in his three children and many grandchildren; otherwise, he said, the family would not have made it through the rough times. Unfortunately, he had to quit high school at the segregated Pine Street School in Conway in order to work in the fields and take care of home. When he turned eighteen, Claude enlisted in the Air Force as a pilot where he trained in Florida for thirteen months. It was at this time he finally started to really see the world by flight; by that time President Hoover was on his way to death ("he didn't know anything about fighting, he wasn't worth much" - Grandpa). His journeys took him to California, India, and Australia, where he played baseball and won that country's World Series! Quite an athlete, especially in such a racially divided world!

Technology wise, the radio to have was a Bacharach; all the listener had to do was charge it was not on. The television was not invented until 1956, but its presence was huge in the house; he had moved into the home where he is still living at the previous year.  As far as radio, Claude didn't listen to it often enough to pick a favorite program. The first automobile he remembered driving was a Dodge coupe, which he recalled was used exclusively for going to church. Also, he served in World War II; again, he was a fighter pilot. This time, he was stationed in India for 23 months after leaving Fort Smith. Interestingly enough, he actually liked war and its very idea; he enjoyed shooting up the bad guys because once they would quit, that would be all for the particular time. At first, war was pretty dangerous since he didn't know where shots were coming from, but it eventually became an everyday thing. The amazing thing was he never was hurt despite all the carnage surrounding.

About some of the great American leaders, his responses were favorable of all except President Hoover, who didn't know anything about war. Roosevelt was "a good guy who did a lot for his country and kept it stable"; Kennedy was a young man who turned out to be a great President but was simply not recognized during the war. Martin Luther King, in his words, "did a lot for Black people...and all people as well, paving a way for Blacks and Whites to mingle and live together". His advice to us:  Get an education because that can take you far in life and it gives the qualifications to do things, such as fly.

My grandmother, Beaulah Armstrong, does not fit the age criteria, but her life is also valued. She was born January 26, 1924 in Faulkner County to another family of sharecroppers.  Life in Arkansas, like the rest of the Black South, was rough, so she moved to Atkins, Arkansas as a child to work with the family to make ends meet by picking cotton in the fields. Atkins is a small town today, so imagine life there before 1935; there was nothing huge as far as social events were concerned. In contrast to our marriages, she married at the age of fifteen! People centered their lives around picking cotton, eating, attending church, and listening to the radio programs. Grandma recalled having to go outside when her mother wanted to hear her program so she could have quiet time to herself. Beaulah's teenage years other than the marriage were normal; work as a maid to acquire enough money to support the family and riding in a Ford Model T her parents owned. Work came first, then pleasure...if there was time for any. Unfortunately, she never did get to fly on an airplane but has seen 'a bunch' of them fly over the house and at the local airport.

About the great American leaders, Grandma did not remember President Hoover for anything other the dam; Roosevelt was "a good, stable President especially when times were rough"; John F. Kennedy was "pretty good, he improved the country enough"; and Martin Luther King was wonderful, saying "he overcame"! Pearl Harbor did not affect her as much because time were already rough around the county as well as the rest of America. Her advice:  Be grateful for what you have and you'll do fine. Working and living this long has taught her to work for everything and be proud.

My grandparents, as well as anyone else who lived through the Twenties, Great Depression, World War II, and the baby boom, could tell us of a different time, one of working in the fields, hatred toward foreigners, and in the case of African-Americans, living with Jim Crow laws. There were no compact disc players, no antilock brakes, and televisions were in their infancy as late as the Fifties; meaning the church was truly the center of small towns and in general, the lifeline that kept people going. Where all that "Southern hospitality" went is unknown, but the spirit of giving thanks for what we have is still prevalent in the family. Their hard work and efforts instilled in all of us the true value of 'getting paid'. 

Chocolate Chip Brownies and the Way I Became a Foodie

Chocolate Chip Brownies

• 1/4 cup butter or margarine -- melted
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 egg
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 cup all-purpose flour -- unsifted
• 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

Cream butter or margarine, sugar and eggs in small bowl until fluffy. Add sour cream and vanilla. Beat well. Combine flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt. Blend into creamed mixture. Stir in chocolate chips. Spread evenly in greased 9 inch baking pan. Bake at 350 for 30 to 35 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

Chocolate Chip Blonde Brownies

• 1 cup flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/8 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup nuts -- chopped
• 1/3 cup butter or margarine
• 1 cup brown sugar -- packed
• 1 egg -- slightly beaten
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 6 ounces semisweet chocolate chips

Sift together flour, baking powder, soda and salt. Add nuts; mix well and set aside. Melt butter in saucepan and remove from heat. (if margarine is used, add 1 tablespoon hot water.) Add brown sugar and beat well. Let cool. Add egg and vanilla and blend. Add flour mixture, a small amount at a time, mixing well after each addition. Spread in greased 8 x 8 inch pan. Sprinkle chocolate chips over top. Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes. Do not over bake. Cool in pan and cut in squares. If doubling recipe, bake in 9 x 12 inch pan.

                           Cheesecake Brownies

  Amount  Measure       Ingredient -- Preparation Method

--------  ------------  --------------------------------

   4      ounces        Unsweetened chocolate

     1/2  pound         Unsalted butter

   1      pound         Cream cheese -- room temp

   2 2/3  cups          Sugar

   5                    Eggs

   2 1/2  teaspoons     Vanilla extract

   1      tablespoon    Lemon juice

   1 1/2  cups          Flour

     1/2  teaspoon      Baking powder

     1/2  teaspoon      Salt

Heat oven to 325-degrees.  Butter a 13"x9" baking pan.

 Chop chocolate. In small saucepan, combine the chopped chocolate and the butter and melt over low heat,

 stirring occasionally, until smooth. Let cool.

 With an electric mixer set a medium-low speed, beat the cream cheese and 2/3 cup of the sugar until smooth.

 Beat in one of the eggs, 1 ts of the vanilla and the lemon juice.

  Set aside.

  Combine flour, baking powder and salt

. With an electric mixer set at medium-low speed, beat the remaining 4 eggs and 1-1/2 ts vanilla until frothy. 

 Gradually beat in the remaining 2 cups sugar.

Beat in chocolate mixture. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Pour half of the chocolate batter into the prepared pan.

 Carefully spoon the cream-cheese mixture on top. 

 Smooth the surface. Spoon the remaining chocolate batter over the cream-cheese layer and smooth top.

 Bake until a knife stuck in the center comes out clean, about 1 hour.

 Cool and chill before cutting.

                         Deep Dish Fudge Brownies

  Amount  Measure       Ingredient -- Preparation Method

--------  ------------  --------------------------------

     3/4  cup           Unsifted all-purpose flour

     3/4  cup           Unsifted cake flour

     1/4  teaspoon      Baking powder

     1/4  teaspoon      Salt

     1/2  pound         Unsalted butter

   4      ounces        Unsweetened chocolate (4 sq)

   1 3/4  cups          Superfine sugar

   4                    Extra-large eggs

   2      teaspoons     Vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Butter and flour a 9- by 9-inch baking pan.

Melt and cool the butter and chocolate.

Sift together the all-purpose flour, cake flour, baking powder, and salt.

Whisk the butter and chocolate in a bowl; beat in the sugar, eggs, and vanilla extract. 

 Add the dry ingredients and stir to form a batter.

Pour and scrape the batter into the prepared pan; spread the batter evenly.

  Bake the brownies for 30 to 33 minutes, or until just set.

Cool the brownies completely in the pan on a rack.

Cut into 2 1/4- by 2 1/4-inch squares. 

 Remove the brownies from the pan using a metal spatula.

 Store in an airtight tin.  This recipe yields sixteen 2 1/4- by 2 1/4-inch brownies