.01

I'm almost ready to ring the bell.

After the past seven weeks of healing, resting, rehabbing, and otherwise being confined to a low weight limit, I guess the time to punch a clock is imminent. It's not like I am ready and willing to walk across the parking lot to that trailer park in the sky; however, bills gotta get paid. What I do know is this: Act II has to count for something. Working like a government mule for the next 20-30 years (yes, my original retirement date is my 75th birthday but I don't see that desire to manage other people's crap that long anymore). Plus, standing next to the smokers with a table and Square account doesn't seem the best way to enjoy life after the swamp or wherever I end up toiling for the Man. Even then, I believe that my wife will want me to turn in my badge, ditch the coveralls, and surrender that parking space in front of the storeroom which I walk from at least twice per shift in favor of the condo in Ocean Springs before either of us loses cognition or the power to live out deferred dreams.

I like money, but I also like my new taste of freedom.

I also like vacation time. 

What is so special about the .01 that you see in the title line?

That number represents my PSA score. In other words, I am 99.99% cancer-free! In a few months, it should become goose eggs across the board with occasional monitoring from my urologist. Without a prostate (read my last post), that number is to be expected. 

What does that mean moving forward?

Well, those lifestyle changes I implemented seven weeks ago will hopefully stick long term. That means more water, less Dr. Pepper and Miller Lite; reaching my daily step count without having to borrow the neighbor's dog because I don't feel like walking; and now, readjusting that sleep schedule back to night life. I also need to reach out to all of you at one point or another - block party, anyone? - and remember that once upon a time before life got in the way that I was somewhat of a fun guy to be around. Even more importantly, continuing to be a lifelong learner means squat if I don't put the new-to-me knowledge to practice and share in that "reach one, teach one" kind of way. 

Not just Black knowledge but also the very winnable war against prostate cancer👆🏿

One thing I definitely appreciate AND respect is the fact that so many guys have reached out and said that I have been the catalyst in getting their prostates (and other parts) checked out. Although that Canadian rapper told us he was only here for a good time not a long time, our loved ones would like for us to stick around a bit longer. 

Once again, thanks to everyone who had a kind word, thought, prayer, conversation via text, phone, quick road trip, or any of the social media platforms I still use, and all of the support given to my family. The love was felt and reciprocated at least the same way y'all sent it to me. I often remark about a mustard seed of faith carrying me a long way through life's trails and tribulations, yet I also have had a gang of people standing in the intercessory gap for me in this war we won together: Don't take this or yourselves lightly at all. 

Anyway, may God bless each and every single one of you. 

I'm out✌🏿

Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

Read the question and answer about the daily bread. While we are taught to think of it in the literal sense, this explanation provides a different view:

Is it true that in the Lord's prayer the original word for daily bread is "epiousios" and as that word is unique to the New Testament and appears literally nowhere else in Greek literature, we don't really know the true translation of it? The word appears twice, once in Matthew 6:11 and one in Luke 11:3. It doesn’t mean “daily bread.” It’s an adjective to describe bread, seen nowhere else, which suggests it’s a neologism (a word made up for the occasion) or a legmenon (an unusal word that shows up only one time — (technically twice, since it’s in the same story told in Luke and Matthew). It does not mean “daily.” There are normal words in Greek to indicate “daily.” No, it’s more complicated. epi means upon, or over or super (as an intensifer) ousious is about being and existence, so it would probably be more accurate to translate the “daily” “our daily bread” as “super substantial” or maybe “essential” bread.

This article is pretty good plain-langauge reference on who write the canonical Gospels, and when. it’s from a Catholic source, but I suspect it would be OK with mainstream Protestant scholars.

(Disclaimer — Biblical studies are enormously complex, and I’m no Bible scholar, even though I read the whole thing — and it’s really a library of many books from different times and source — and did spend a few years studying it and a lifetime appreciating it.)

I'm Leaving Here Without Something

I know one thing: I'm leaving here without something. 

Three weeks ago, I underwent a radical prostaterectomy (big word for some - I'll go in depth later in the text) and it's pretty safe to say that I am leaving here without something. During that time, my body has never experienced so much pain in so many places and I've not remembered a period of my adult life when I had so little control over situations. From a series of spasms that could very well have broken me to having my mobility reduce me to walking up and down the driveway without getting tired, the mess that cancer leaves behind tried to drop me off like Tyrese Haliburton during this year's NBA playoffs. 

No sir, I ain't going.

What am I leaving here without? 

A number of things namely my prostate and pelvic lymph nodes, among other things. In exchange, I received five incisions on my stomach and the discomfort of a literal butthurt existence of sitting on bleachers for the course of my daughter's swim season. Externally, I look cool as a fan - I've even lost weight - yet the internal stuff is why I have really gotten to know my recliner.

So...what happened during the prostaterectomy? I'd share my surgeon's notes but some of the details are too personal for public consumption. Rather, here's a synopsis: I was intubated, knocked out for the three hours or so it took the robot and surgeon to make the five incisions on my belly, and when I woke up, I no longer had my prostate, and my pelvic lymph nodes exited the chat to be further tested. Instead, I had a catheter for fifteen incredibly painful days which resulted in me doing everything in my power to stay home.

I know we're in June and November is coming, but fellas...know your nuts not just the busted ones 😁

Where does that leave me today?

As I mentioned earlier, I don't have to wear the bag on my leg or tote a larger one at bedtime or up and down the driveway and the short distance from the house to two, three, four, or five in either direction of my front door. (Fun perk about living in the dead center of the subdivision is seeing life happen without getting out of my lawn chair.) I'm still walking for short distances throughout the day, and the one day I decided to venture out for a few more steps, Park Plaza Mall aged me twenty years without entering a single store! 

Each day is different, and as a cancer survivor - yes, I'm claiming it - I've really learned to appreciate the smallest of wins such as tying my own shoes, the glow of morning sunlight, climbing in and out of the truck, grilling chicken thighs and pork chops; and most importantly, the time to reset my body, mind, spirit, and priorities. Thank you all for your prayers and although the visits haven't quite been constant to the point of staging the house, you are certainly loved and will always hold a place of gratitude with me. Special shout out to my familial coaches Dad and Chastity for making me climb out of the recliner and live a seminormal existence; Alan and Aston for living the Kendrick Lamar line and popping up before the nephew's AAU games; Jason and Michelle for mowing my weeds; the Saint Mark, Mount Zion, Greater Friendship, and all of the church families who have put me on their prayer lists; Heath for the beer and cookies; the numerous phone conversations with cousins; those Arcwood hooligans [I know, we're always Rineco cowboys new corporate name be damned] and everyone who has reached out at any point in the past three weeks. I cannot tell what to do, just go as God directs you.

Lastly:  Be blessed, be safe, be good to each other, and have a marvelous week! 

The Fight For My Life

2025 is supposed to be the Year of Momentum, right?

I took the first step forward, and all of a sudden it since feels like a gut punch from Iron Mike. I know it's not supposed to be this way, and once I made the first move forward, then why does it seem like I am catching fades from all sides and some from directions I did not expect? I guess this is one of those storms that keep on raging in my life, to paraphrase the great gospel singer Douglas Miller; honestly, sometimes it's hard to tell the night from day.

To view the video of Douglas Miller singing this poignant track that is heard in nearly every Black church service at least one Sunday a month, click on the link. If it isn't being sung, your house of worship may have a lousy singer like myself with a microphone. [Mt. Zion knew I couldn't sing, but Deacon Ced tried nonetheless. I'm not giving Saint Mark the notion of bad singing that the media team would desire to boo me off the stage like the Apollo.]

For those who really want to sing along, the accompanying lyrics are below:

Though the storms keep on raging in my life

And sometimes it's hard to tell the night from day

Still that hope that lies within is reassured

As I keep my eyes upon the distant shore

I know He'll lead me safely to

That blessed place He has prepared

But if the storms don't cease

And if the winds keep on blowing in my life

My soul has been anchored in the Lord

Ooh, ooh

I realize that sometimes in this life

We're gonna be tossed by the waves

And the currents that seem so fierce

One thing I like

But in the word of God I've got an anchor, hallelujah

And it keeps me steadfast and unmovable

Despite the tide

But if, if the storms just don't cease

And just in case the wind keeps on blowing

Blowing in my life

My soul

My soul's been anchored

In the Lord

In the Lord

Lord

My soul

My soul been anchored

In the Lord

My soul

My soul

My, my-my-my my

My, my-my-my my, my, my, my

My soul

My soul been anchored

My soul been anchored

My soul been anchored

My soul been anchored

Though the billiards may roll

The breakers may dash

But I shall not sway because

He hold me fast

So dark the day

Clouds in the sky

I know it's alright

Because Jesus is nigh

And my soul

My soul

My soul

My, my-my my

My, my-my my, my, my, my, my, my

My, my-my my, my, my, my

My soul

My soul

My soul

My soul

My, my-my

My, my-my-my my my

My, my-my my

My, my-my-my-my-my my

My, my, my-my-my-my my, my

My, listen

You crush me down but Jesus picks me up

He sticks right by me when the going gets tough

And my soul

My soul

My soul

My soul has been anchored in the...

My soul

My soul

My soul

My soul

My soul

My, my-my-my

My, my-my-my

My, my-my-my, my-my-my my

Though the billiards may roll

And the breakers may dash

I shall not sway 'cause he hold me

He hold me

Through sickness and pain

Sunshine and the rain

My, my, my, my, my, my, my

My, my-my-my (my, my-my-my)

My, my-my-my (my, my-my-my)

My soul (my soul)

My soul has been

Has been, help me say it

Anchored

Anchored

In, in to the Lord

So what happened? Let's go back in time to Good Friday - or further down the road, to late December from a routine doctor's appointment with the urologist. My PSA (prostate specific antigen) count was triple the mean, and since it had remained normal all of this time, he was concerned enough to order a MRI to make sure I was still OK and if he might have seen something amiss. Two months later at that exam and the beginning of three-digit expenses, enough was seen for me to return to another trip and one more exam. Although it could very well save my life, having a biopsy done is a 0/10 for the pain induced afterwards. Not only was I literally butthurt but also I had sprained both my left ankle and right wrist walking in the neighborhood from stepping in a hole in the street three hours prior. In this moment, I have to not only leave it all up to God but also do what is best for my wife and daughter for Lord knows my baby needs her Daddy, and the way better and significant help meet wants to keep doing this journey with me come hell or high water. As I am knowledgeable of probabilities from my days as a hack bettor and understanding analytics first through sports that I was never good enough to play and later on Roulette tables, I knew the odds were not exactly in my favor due to my own genetics and family history, I rolled the dice anyway and prayed for a positive outcome.

Good Friday, April 18, 2025, will forever be etched in my journey on this rock.

My doctor gave me the news:  I have prostate cancer.

For those who wish to know, I am Stage 2. It's early enough to capture and beat for a full life but enough for some serious life changes to occur and have the procedure done pronto.

Thank God Chastity was in the room next to me because I was too tired to be shocked from having worked off an hour earlier, and with the fact of that I needed a quick nap before it was time to get my locs retwisted really did not allow me to have time to sit and mope.

Yet.

I was given three options two of which were not viable at all, so I had a few days to weigh out the pros and cons of each direction before conferring with our decision to win this war. Once we came to the choice, scheduling the next step became the next critical thing. Am I worried? Of course! How are the bills going to be paid if I have to miss work for more than a few days? Who's mowing this grass? The earlier appointments ate through my PTO. What about vacation time this summer? Would I be able to go without being a burden? What are the ramifications of the eventual treatments? What becomes of my immediate family's dynamic? Any count, whooping prostate cancer is way bigger than me, so leaving my faith on the line in God's hand is the only way.

I gave myself ten days to mope around, and now, it's time to go head-on with the beast in my body.

In the coming days I'll be taking an extended hiatus from social media beyond those happy birthday memes my Facebook friends receive - and yes, even Barbecue Sundays at the house. What I am asking for are prayers (and well-wishes from those who do not pray or believe in a higher power) for my family, a successful beatdown of cancer, and a full recovery to resume normal life activities to enjoy all of you.

That's it.

God bless, I'm out. 

Sunday Dinner, Monday's Sandwiches: Dub Shack BBQ Goes Ham

I just realized that I have never done a ham recipe for the blog, and I haven't smoked one in years. To consider the time since the last one: Caeli hadn't been born yet, President Obama was in office, the overnight political shift from baby blue to blood red had not occurred in Arkansas yet, and I had a Masterbilt bullet smoker on the top of the hill. Obviously, Dub Shack BBQ as a hustle and burgeoning sauce empire was years away as is the refrigerator full of Lazy Magnolia and Diamond Bear beers tucked away in the back corner.

So...it's time to go ham.

INGREDIENTS 

One spiral cut ham

Your favorite rub(s). In this case, I'm doing Fire and Smoke Society's Sweet Preacher rub

Honey mustard as a binder 

Dub Shack BBQ's Get Honey barbecue sauce

STEP ONE. If you have not purchased your ham, it would be a pretty good time to get one. Otherwise - and if catching the post-Christmas sale at the preferred big box retailer or meat market is your thing, grab the one that has been in the deep freezer. In the meantime, allow it to thaw slowly in the refrigerator until it is pliable.

STEP TWO. Remove the ham from the refrigerator and set it on the counter or cutting board to reach room temperature. Apply a nice lather of honey mustard (trust me, you won't taste it) and your favorite rub all.over the ham. In this case, Fire and Smoke Society's Sweet Preacher earned the assignment.

STEP THREE. Head outside and light your grill or smoker with the products of choice. Since the PK also is the No. 1 draft pick, bank those lump charcoals to one side with a few Applewood chunks sprinkled throughout the lit coals before bringing el jamon for a smoke-kissed sauna at 275 degrees away on the cool side of the cooker. This is not a timed cook rather the ham is being smoked a second time around to 140 degrees, so hang around and chil by the cooker for a spell. 

If you can't keep still long enough, then make your glaze. 

STEP FOUR. Because I couldn't stay still, the next step is making a glaze. You can use the package that your ham came with, or you can doctor it up a little bit by adding your flair such as brown sugar, the same barbecue rub you seasoned the ham with, apple juice, and the most known unknown sauce in Dub Shack BBQ's Get Honey barbecue sauce. You can either paint the protein with a brush or pour it all over from the mixing cup: Just make sure you hit all of the curves and crevices in the protein. Return to the smoker and allow it to tack up for about half an hour but not too long - sugar does darken the longer it sits in smoke and near fire. We want incredible ham, not something acrid.

STEP FIVE. After pulling the showstopper, let it rest for at least twenty minutes before slicing into the ham. Enjoy!

My thoughts: Maybe I shouldn't have waited eleven years between ham cooks because my, my, my! We are going to be eating sandwiches for the next several days before I decide to freeze for another day or find members of the DSB Meatlist to pass this to.

Just because I don't eat as much pork as I once did does not preclude me from serving damn good barbecue to the masses. Besides, it's a superb way of working on sauce pairings. Anyway, thank you for reading the first AD&AD post of 2025. If you're looking in trying another ham for holidays, Sunday dinner, or just because, peep the recipe out and add your own twist to it. Y'all be blessed, be safe, be good to each other, and tell everyone that every day is a GREAT day for Dub Shack BBQ!