I'm Leaving Here Without Something

I know one thing: I'm leaving here without something. 

Three weeks ago, I underwent a radical prostaterectomy (big word for some - I'll go in depth later in the text) and it's pretty safe to say that I am leaving here without something. During that time, my body has never experienced so much pain in so many places and I've not remembered a period of my adult life when I had so little control over situations. From a series of spasms that could very well have broken me to having my mobility reduce me to walking up and down the driveway without getting tired, the mess that cancer leaves behind tried to drop me off like Tyrese Haliburton during this year's NBA playoffs. 

No sir, I ain't going.

What am I leaving here without? 

A number of things namely my prostate and pelvic lymph nodes, among other things. In exchange, I received five incisions on my stomach and the discomfort of a literal butthurt existence of sitting on bleachers for the course of my daughter's swim season. Externally, I look cool as a fan - I've even lost weight - yet the internal stuff is why I have really gotten to know my recliner.

So...what happened during the prostaterectomy? I'd share my surgeon's notes but some of the details are too personal for public consumption. Rather, here's a synopsis: I was intubated, knocked out for the three hours or so it took the robot and surgeon to make the five incisions on my belly, and when I woke up, I no longer had my prostate, and my pelvic lymph nodes exited the chat to be further tested. Instead, I had a catheter for fifteen incredibly painful days which resulted in me doing everything in my power to stay home.

I know we're in June and November is coming, but fellas...know your nuts not just the busted ones 😁

Where does that leave me today?

As I mentioned earlier, I don't have to wear the bag on my leg or tote a larger one at bedtime or up and down the driveway and the short distance from the house to two, three, four, or five in either direction of my front door. (Fun perk about living in the dead center of the subdivision is seeing life happen without getting out of my lawn chair.) I'm still walking for short distances throughout the day, and the one day I decided to venture out for a few more steps, Park Plaza Mall aged me twenty years without entering a single store! 

Each day is different, and as a cancer survivor - yes, I'm claiming it - I've really learned to appreciate the smallest of wins such as tying my own shoes, the glow of morning sunlight, climbing in and out of the truck, grilling chicken thighs and pork chops; and most importantly, the time to reset my body, mind, spirit, and priorities. Thank you all for your prayers and although the visits haven't quite been constant to the point of staging the house, you are certainly loved and will always hold a place of gratitude with me. Special shout out to my familial coaches Dad and Chastity for making me climb out of the recliner and live a seminormal existence; Alan and Aston for living the Kendrick Lamar line and popping up before the nephew's AAU games; Jason and Michelle for mowing my weeds; the Saint Mark, Mount Zion, Greater Friendship, and all of the church families who have put me on their prayer lists; Heath for the beer and cookies; the numerous phone conversations with cousins; those Arcwood hooligans [I know, we're always Rineco cowboys new corporate name be damned] and everyone who has reached out at any point in the past three weeks. I cannot tell what to do, just go as God directs you.

Lastly:  Be blessed, be safe, be good to each other, and have a marvelous week!