Ho. Ho. Ho.

Ho, Ho, Ho.

I worked Christmas Eve and Christmas Day – and it didn’t kill me.

Working in the waste management industry, I’ve learned to deal with the ways our schedules change from one year to the next, and as we pray for a calendar year which we get every holiday off without having to use PTO, I must be considerate that someone is going to have to lie on the grenade and get what may be the easiest twelve hours’ work for the quarter at the price of missing out on what his family is doing. I fully empathize with nurses, medical personnel, maintenance crews, law enforcement officers, security guards, Waffle House and Chinese restaurant employees, the awesome people who toil at gas stations and Walgreens for the last-minute battery runs, and the Wal-Mart associates who finally get their day off from work only to suffer with 364 days of the worst of us in the customer service return lines. PS:  If you’re also working on Christmas Day and I didn’t shout out your line of work, charge it to my mind. On the contrary, NBA players dream of working on this day to debut their new shoes and special holiday jerseys, so they are living one aspect of their dreams and hard work over the years. Still, having millions in the bank does not prevent the personal feelings of having to leave the comforts of home to entertain an arena of around 20,000 paying customers in addition to a nation of fans whom have come to view them as mindless gladiators blessed with an innate ability to dribble, shoot, pass, score, and/or defend an orange basketball 94 feet from one end of the court to the other end.

For the first time ever, I did work Christmas Eve night. Having Boyz II Men and The Temptations croon “Let It Snow” and “Silent Night” repeatedly on Spotify, respectively, did not alleviate the sucky part of being away from the family; matter of fact, it exacerbated the pain that much more. (Lord willing and He says the same, this will be the final Christmas holiday I spend away from home.) Working Christmas Day night is a different animal; I’ve been doing this for the majority of the past eleven years that I have been back in the South. In this case it is overtime that pays for next month’s bills and even becomes an added part of the rainy-day fund those financial advisors tell us all about in every other email or news cycle.

One may wonder how I’ve gotten screwed with working these types of irregular jobs over the years. Easy:  I greatly appreciate autonomy, especially when it pays the bills well enough. There is a certain peace of mind that comes with being able to control my own destiny with some constraints, and the current job’s schedule is wonderful WHEN it works. Without the night shift, I probably wouldn’t have had the moxie to get into the barbecue life as intensely as I have the past few years nor the ability to create relevant content for A Dollar and A Dream for the past six years and counting. If you think about it, the only nonteaching day role I’ve had ever was a scheduler position at the now-closed school bus plant back home – and even then, that was fifteen years ago when I had no grey hairs and a compact car that continuously broke down.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

I made it through both nights, and it didn’t kill me.

Tell someone who did work either of the two days thank you for his/her service to the larger community and put some respect on their names as they (like me) drew the short straw to sit on the timeclock.

Dub Shack BBQ Presents Smoked Meatloaf

Dub Shack BBQ Presents Smoked Meatloaf

Because every day really is a great day for barbecue.

Ingredients

·         Ground beef, at least 2 lbs.

·         2 eggs, beaten

·         Bread crumbs

·         Table salt

·         Black pepper

·         Basil

·         Oregano

·         Sage

·         Big 6 dry rub

·         ½ cup of milk

·         Diced tomatoes

·         Diced onions

·         Chopped green peppers

·         Shredded cheese (I prefer Mexican but make it your own)

·         Brown sugar

·         Ketchup or barbecue sauce of your choice

The stuff you need

Step One: Find the largest mixing bowl in your kitchen cabinet and mix all the ingredients except for brown sugar and ketchup/barbecue sauce together. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty playing in the bowl, and if you are, the sink should be nearby. Wearing gloves may help alleviate the fear of icky fingers if that is your prerogative.

Makin' Meatloaf Look Like 'Murica.

Step Two: Pick up the mixture, form it, and set it in a meatloaf pan. I have a metal pan at home that my wife bought somewhere that does the job well enough, but if you lack that, the aluminum meatloaf pans found in most housewares/cookware aisles in the average retail outfit will suffice. If you haven’t lit your grill to 350℉, go outside and do so:  While you’re lighting it, make sure you set it for indirect cooking – and if you don’t know what that is, position all your coals to one side of the grill, and put the cooked item on the opposite side. I used charcoal briquettes and a few chunks of Cherrywood to get through the cook. It’s fast, but not so swift that you would have to worry about being away for too long.

Chillin' out 

Step Three: Once the grill hits 350 ℉ place the meatloaf pan on the indirect side of your grill and close it. I cannot stress it enough that “lookin’ ain’t cookin’”; just let the protein and coals do their work. At one hour in, it is always a good idea to check the internal temperature to know how your cook is coming along with a thermometer. Ground beef requires a temperature of at least 160℉ before it is fully cooked, and this is no exception; no one wants an undercooked comfort headliner.

Working it out on the PK #ShopLocal

Step Four:  Two hours later and an internal temperature of at least 160 (I took mine up to 180 to be safe), the meatloaf is done. Carefully bring it inside wearing heatproof gloves, and if you don’t have any, use Mama’s pan holders to transport the featured protein. In a separate bowl, mix brown sugar, Big 6 dry rub, and ketchup/barbecue sauce together until the sugar is fully blended; pour mixture over the meatloaf and let it rest five to ten minutes before serving.

Food Porn

It’s worth a try and gives the oven a break from having to work so hard through those chilly months. Even if you’ve put your grills and smokers away for the winter, smoked meatloaf is an easy meal with a barbecue twist – again, every day is a great day for barbecue. Bring them out and be the star of your family dinner tonight!

Dub Shack BBQ Presents Spatchcock Turkey

Every day is a great day for barbecue, and Thanksgiving/Christmas/whenever you feel like smoking turkey is a good enough reason for the bird.

Ingredients:

·         One turkey (I prefer 10-12 lbs. since the 20-25 lb. turkeys require a bit more work to keep extra juicy)

·         Kosher salt and white sugar for brining

·         Injectable butter (Tony Chachere is ideal, just make sure your bird is moist)

·         Thyme

·         Rosemary

·         Cajun seasoning

·         Garlic salt

·         Black pepper

·         Olive oil spray

·         Time (6-7 days, depending on the state of the turkey)

Step One: This depends on how soon you want to eat turkey or if the cook is for a major family event. For funsies (and my family) there is a separate method I do for smoking turkey breast that will catch a post one of these days. In the meantime, slow thaw the turkey for three to five days with the preferred rule of thumb being three pounds per day; with those 20+ lb. monstrosities, it could take a week to slow them before any further measures can be taken. Just set it in the refrigerator in a bowl or casserole tray that can fit it and forget it.

From the freezer to the fridge

Step Two:  After the necessary slow thaw is complete, open the package! Anything that you’re not going to use such as the giblets, necks, and certainly not the plastic in the cavity, take it out and throw it away. Because I know my family, I’m keeping the turkey neck and incorporating it with the rest of the meal; however, I won’t brine it like the rest of the turkey. Regardless of the season, no one wants a dry turkey; people can go to Luby’s or IHOP for that trash.

The brine is one or two pitchers of water, kosher salt, and white sugar. Bring the water to boiling over the oven and set it aside. In a large Ziploc bag (think the ones that shrink the air such as the ones we use for clothing, not the smaller ones in the paper goods department), place the turkey and brine in the same bag and close it. You can get a couple of bags of ice to cover the bird if it goes in the ice cooler outside but remember to change out the ice – you’re still working with poultry. My method is slightly different in the way that I’ll use a larger stock pot to drop the turkey in first, then the brine, and lastly empty the full ice tray in the freezer before returning it to the refrigerator for another twelve to sixteen hours.

Step Three:  Take that turkey out of the brine and put it on a roasting pan. Pat that bird down to sop up the excess water, and get those poultry shears (Hint:  If you don’t know what those are, look at the scissors in the knife set you got as a wedding gift and grab them). To spatchcock a turkey, all you do is cut the backbone to flatten the bird for an even cook; it may cause you to sweat and even swear a little bit! Once that bird is lying flat, spray the first of two layers of olive oil and inject it with the butter everywhere – in the legs, the wings, and of course, the breast. To inject, simply follow the instructions with your bottle and hit the bird everywhere. You’re doing it right when the turkey pumps up throughout. Remember the turkey neck I stuck to the side? It also gets pumped up like the Reebok shoes we wore in middle school because the latest Air Jordan sneakers were beyond the cost of ownership. After the turkey is injected throughout, add your favorite poultry rub to the bird and head outside to light the smoker for 275 ℉. On this one in the pictures, I’ve added thyme, rosemary, garlic salt, black pepper, and Cajun seasoning to the bird with the last ingredient liberally spread all over the legs, wings, neck, and breast. My advice here is to spread the love on both sides of the turkey.

Pumped up, spatchcocked, and ready for smoke

Step Four:  Light the smoker to 275℉, and unlike most protein, use a mild wood such as pecan or post oak to impart an awesome smoky taste. If sticks are unavailable, then use a combination of pecan chunks and lump charcoal; hickory sticks can be too harsh for this cook. Once it gets to temperature, bring the turkey to the smoker and set it carefully – the legs can take the heat, so they can lay near the firebox. Tuck those wings underneath the breast to fully ensure an even cook; once set, spray another layer of olive oil all over the bird. You’re looking for a golden brown color not much darker than some of our high school classmates who lived at the tanning beds once upon a time.

Going for a tan

Step Five:  To keep the turkey extra-moist, drizzle the leftover injectable butter on the legs, breast, and wings. Since I had the neck smoking as well, it received the same treatment. At two hours, check the color and the temperature:  if the bird is too dark, then lightly cover it with aluminum foil. As a reminder for legs, the temperature needs to be 170; the breasts, 165 before you pull it.

Dark and Lovely

Step Six: This is the most difficult step in the process because we can finally taste victory! My eleven-pound turkey was finished at 3 ½ hours, and needed to rest. Following a resting period of about thirty minutes, I could no longer wait to part out this bird. First went the legs and wings, and then the breast was sliced. Can you see the butter dripping from those turkey slices?

Dat breast tho...

This was the first time I smoked a whole turkey, and from the spatchcock technique, it will not be the final experience with it nor will I avoid injecting protein as I once did. It proved to be incredibly efficient as shown by what I brought back home from our Thanksgiving dinner:  nothing.