Babe, I Think We’ll Be Okay

I quit my job today.

I haven’t physically written my notice yet as there are a few things I have to square away before I make my exit one of public news, but the feeling is mutual. I’m sorry I haven’t told you how I felt sooner since we’ve been seeing less of each other (thanks, work) but that is soon to change. It’ll be a welcomed relief to be at home at night yet I’ll be quite apprehensive of how home life is supposed to function. You know it’s been years since I’ve had a normal work schedule and I have some concern about micro aggressions that come with going to work (and coming home) in the same day with the same sunlight such as rush hour traffic and office politics. Again, you know I’ve worked either swing or the graveyard shift for the majority of my adult life – this obviously includes our entire dating relationship and marriage – so bear with me as I get adapted to a significant life change.

I think the only reasons why I haven’t made this happen sooner have been 1) health insurance for the family and 2) I don’t know how I would make it after toiling in a monotonous state for the past decade. We both know I’ve never really been much of a people-person and often too willing to go rouge for no other reason than to show the Man that he can be defied. Aside from becoming bored so stinking easily and the fact that merely surviving just isn’t cutting the mustard around here anymore, I don’t think I have anything else to prove at this role. Attendance? Come on, I’ve only missed one day in the last five years; it’s not exactly like the appraisals and raises have come annually nor am I appreciated beyond a trinket or backhanded compliment here and there.

I don’t know what my next more entails but it certainly has to be better than this dead-end on the wagon wheel of my working life. Ten years of working overnights has inflicted more damage than I could’ve ever expected.

In all honesty, I think we’ll be okay solely because of our faith in God.

I’m tired of having to tell our friends and family not to count us in their lives because I have to work this weekend.

Even with a couple of days off during those alternating weeks, it still feels like I haven’t gotten rest – and my health is beginning to show it.

I guess it would be one thing if the loot was enough to justify the conditions we reside in, but missing our child grow up is not an option.

I’ve never really cared for the job beyond the paycheck and even then, it was for the five minutes to figure out how quickly bills ate up two weeks’ of hard work in the control room.

No one expects to stay in one spot for five years only to remain the low man on the totem pole, but that seems to have occurred in this case. If there was a legitimate path toward advancement, I’m certain I would have taken it by now; despite how easy the job has become, ain’t no future in sitting on my bum staring at seven monitors and answering mundane questions about the materials received and run nightly.

Officially, this isn’t an “Eff You, I’m out” letter. That one is on a different flash drive than the one I prefer to use.

I mentally checked out at least two years ago and my body is finally following suit.

I quit my job today – and I know we’ll be okay.

Food Ministry, One Year Later

April 15 marked our one-year anniversary of the Mount Zion Missionary Baptist Church food pantry, and overall, it’s been an honor and a blessing alike to not only serve Saline County but also a privilege to lead as the coordinator. For the struggles we’ve endured throughout the year such as sourcing a location and not casting the proverbial net so far, deep, and wide, I truly appreciate all of you for who you are, whom you belong to, and what you have brought to the table. I also want to give a huge thank you to the leadership team and congregation alike for believing in what God has commissioned us to do in an era when people can easily keep their Saturday mornings to themselves and instead we’ve given of ourselves for a minimum of four hours per month trying to be that little light many of you have heard me reference during the Praise Service prayer.

It would be too easy to shout out all of the volunteers who regularly come out to support yet someone would be offended if I messed around and forgot a name (hey, Armstrong has a hundred thoughts at one time and can get sidetracked – forgive me). Thank you to all who have donated good food from their own cabinets and pantries as well as purchased items from the grocery stores during the week!

This fiscal year (January 1 - December 31) is going to present fresh opportunities and equally new challenges, so let us all continue to stay in prayer for not only one other but also this ministry to grow exponentially in His will. Moving forward, I know there are a few things I’ve been meaning to do and this also concerns both of our lieutenants in the spiritual army:  As we feed physical food, consider that for some people we are the only example of God they see during a given week. Be vigilant of what we say, our expressions, and always respect the applicants for we must not allow for our own prejudices get in the way of Kingdom building nor would we wish for a lawsuit in this litigious environment or any harm that can sully our names and reputations either as individuals or MZMBC as a collective unit. Monitoring the foods’ expiration dates (presently, we only deal with dry goods) is of the utmost importance and we also need to keep in mind this idea:  Would you eat the food in this box or can if it looked any kind of way? Presentation still means a lot, and we all know how some folks like to talk.

Are there still rules? Of course – applicants still have to bring a driver’s license or valid ID card and a utility bill from his or her current residence with one order per household. What that means is no double-dipping. While we do not have a set limit on visits, we cannot afford to be Momma and Daddy regarding how food is distributed. A list of pantries is available online and is included with each order; at the current date Saline County has seventeen pantries and food banks. One would surmise that out of nearly one hundred churches around here that we would have that part taken care of, but Jesus reminds us that the harvest is plenteous but the laborers are few in Matthew 9:37. Everyone has a gift and an innate ability to do something as we are all part of one body in Christ, so let us pursue that present with gusto!

In related news, I am looking for someone exceptional who is more at ease than me at soliciting donations from local grocery stores to make the phone calls and finally completing the applications for the Arkansas Food Bank and Feeding America, among other places. I know I’m a monster with logistics, but some of the little things get overlooked by grand visions of the big picture. Another wish is to begin preparing annual reports for compliance purposes upon member or prospective donor/volunteer request; hence, the volunteer list we leave out the Sunday morning before our drives.

If I don’t reiterate myself, thank you once again for who you are, whom you belong to, and what you are doing in the effort to advance Kingdom building in a me-first world that looks at us a bit strange for being different in following this Scripture below:

This is My commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. John 15:12